Powerthirst drink review

[TheThing]

If you guys remember, there was a video parodying energy drink ads. It advertises a (previously) fictional product called Powerthirst. Well, the group that created the video actually sell a Powerthirst drink now, forgetting about the irony in doing so.

Well, against my better judgment, I decided to buy some.

Hey! Do you want to feel so energetic?

You can only order the drink online, and you can only buy it from the site as 12 pack, 24 pack or 36 pack. Buying in bulk is only for convenience; the only discount is buying the 36 pack. It comes as 2 oz powder that should be mixed in 16 oz of water. You also get a 17 oz metal water bottle with every order.

As far as flavors, only Original (citrus) is availible, but the site promises Shocklate (chocolate) and Rawberry (strawberry) to be coming soon. But who knows how long that's been up.

The price is a bit off-putting. It's $19.99 for the 12 pack and canteen, plus $9.99 for shipping. And the fact that it's in Canadian Dollars doesn't help; the exchange rate is deceptively low, with me saving $.55 on the smallest package. For a drink you have to mix yourself, it's a little pricey. I wouldn't go as far as to say it's over-priced, but you many not find it to be worth it.

The delivery'll be so fast Mother Nature will be like "slow down", and they'll listen

The time it took to ship makes me think that Kenyan-fast babies ran it to my house. 14 days after I placed my order, the box arrived. It comes in a US Postal Service box, and inside is a clear plastic bag with all my stuff. But my address was handwritten, which made me feel special and appreciated.

The first I noticed was the smell. It's the smell of super-sweet sugar that is now hanging around my house like the bad cologne your dad uses too much of. Each clear, 2 oz bag has a Powerthirst sticker super-glued to the front and nutrition facts on the back. The canteen has the same sticker glued on the front, with the phrase "UNCOMFORTABLY ENERGETIC" underneath.

It's like crystal meth in a can! It's crystal meth in a can!

The powder itself is a strange lime green color, and has the consistency of crushed Pop Rocks. I tried a tiny amount of the powder by itself, and I could feel my heart beating faster almost immediately. This was going to be awesome.

Before I mixed it, I decided to read the nutrition facts. Surprisingly, it has less calories and sugar than 1 can of Monster Energy Drink, but twice the sodium. But 2 out of 3 ain't bad. It also has 190 mg of caffeine, 30 more than Monster. You can decide if that's good or bad. But it's the warnings that really draw your attention - you're advised to only drink 1 of these per day (compared to most energy drinks that say no more than 3), and that it shouldn't be mixed with alcohol (goodbye Powerthirst-Jager bombs and Vodka-and-Powerthirsts!). As an amateur energy drink aficionado, my excitement grew like a 13 year old's dick at a strip club at these warnings.

And let me tell you, I was not disappointed.

I put the powder in the canteen since I'm too lazy to measure out 16 oz. As water went in, a light green froth bubbled up at me. This must be what they used in the mid-90's as a cheesy effect in a mad scientist's lab. I closed the lid and shook vigorously, doing the same motion a 13 year old at strip club would use. The initial fizz should have warned me; I stupidly twisted the cap and got sprayed with some sticky juice, much like a stripper in a club where a 13 year old is present.

The color morphed once again into a semi-translucent dark green. The flavor is reminiscent of Amp Energy Drink (but somehow worse), and for all the bubbles that opened up the show, it was surprisingly flat. But I was quickly welcomed to the effects of this marvelous tonic. I was awake, alert, and had "gratuitous amounts of energy". If I checked my heart rate, it would easily be 10-15 beats higher than this. I could detect the effects for a solid 2 hours or so. That's about 2-4 times longer than most energy drinks . But that's probably just from overloading the drink with energy.

When God gives you lemons, you find a new god

I can't say that I could recommend it to everyone. It's got a decent flavor and a lot of energy. But anyone who doesn't have a high tolerance for sugar and caffeine should avoid this unless you enjoy heart arrhythmia. And the pricing and the amount of drinks you have to buy pushes away those looking to have it once or twice.

If you found the video to be funny, and have $30 that would otherwise be feeding your cocaine addiction, and enjoy energy drinks, order this. If you don't meet this criteria, move on. It's more or less a gag gift.

[ReligiousZoo]

TL:DR

HOLY SHIT THEY ACTUALLY MADE THIS?!
I AM TOTALLY SHELLING OUT 60 DOLLARS

/notallcaps

[FrostedFlakes]

cool story, bro

[TheThing]

Wow, I was expecting more "tl;dr" posts than just 4/5.

[Samen]

Can I order just the sticker by itself? Because I already own like two aluminum water bottles, I don't need a third.

[FrostedFlakes]

At 8/17/10 01:57 AM, Spackled wrote:

At 8/17/10 01:54 AM, alucard048 wrote: cool story, bro

O no u didnt!!!1!!11!

:D

[TheThing]

At 8/17/10 01:59 AM, Samen wrote: Can I order just the sticker by itself? Because I already own like two aluminum water bottles, I don't need a third.

You could have looked on the site yourself, but no. You can order the bottles, the drinks with a bottle, but you can't order the sticker. You might be able to pull the sticker off the drink packaging and use that. I'll get back to you on that.

[sumidiotdude]

SNAAAKE EYES.

[ReligiousZoo]

At 8/17/10 02:16 AM, sumidiotdude wrote: SNAAAKE EYES.

We all expected this

[crazymew]

So this is actually real? I usually spend a good couple hundred dollars on energy drinks a year, so buying it in bulk really doesn't effect my wallet. I just wanna know if the energy I get from it is worth it.

[semeieseed]

*leans against wall of text*

[sweet21]

Wow this stuff sounds really unhealthy O_O
I can almost tell that it hasn't been approved by the FDA, has it?

[Lionelion]

its just awesome that its actually real now, instead of being fake. i have got to try this sucker out