Oh, wait - that amount of hate may actually be impossible to describe. Let me explain just in case anyone was tempted to ever buy the shiest-fest that is pro tools 8 (yes, even the most recent version):
So I consult for a studio helping them secure/setup their computers, networks, software, hardware, vocal booths, whatever/etc. Recently we've had a number of clients come in requesting specifically that they work on pro tools systems only so that we give them the project files after and they go away to their personal mastering engineers in a different studio somewhere else in the world. Fine, that sounds great we figured we'd run a single pro tools system decked out on a x64 PC w/Windows 7 and 8 gigs of RAM/quad-core the whole bit to satisfy that need. We get the funds to pick up both pro tools m-powered 8 (we are running a fast-track ultra on the main rig) and also antares autotune EVO. Get back to the studio (guitar center is like 3 blocks away), backup the general managers files on his rig, format the drive and reinstall his copy of windows 7 x64 on the computer.
Everything is going great, hook it up to the internet, all the drivers are working properly, disabled any un-necessary ports from the BIOS to prevent any potential conflicts, update until windows is fully patched, and throw all the needed runtimes on there (flash/java/.net framework/etc.). I throw the m-powered DVD in the system and that's when I begin to hate my life.
First thing that wouldn't happen is that pro tools decides to give me an error halfway through the install effectively telling me that it can't install the "creative" instrument suite (mini-grand, structure LE, etc.) and to go F myself. Cool, I'll do it manually as it appears everything else is fine - so I go ahead and reboot and then select only the instruments option to install this time around. So it does it's thing asks me to reboot and I'm thinking everything is happy.
ONLY I'M DEAD WRONG.
Instead of just telling "oh sh*t dude, something happened to your installation and we hit an error, blah blah" I am greeted to my user profile missing the desktop icon of pro tools and the start menu program folder is missing. Uh, what the hell just happened? I pull up the program files for pro tools in both the x64 and x86 folders and .... everything is gone. There is a skeletal folder structure left and absolutely no actual program files actual where the hell they are supposed to be. So I'm starting to get a little angry because pro tools did just delete the entire program after I told it to do the exact opposite and install the effing plugins it wouldn't install the first time.
Ok, ok. I can deal with this - I'll just uninstall every trace of pro tools, disable every un-necessary service and then re-install and pray it doesn't happen like this again. Well, it does. In fact, it not only happens again - it happens a third and then a fourth time before I finally say "f**k this, at least I can get the program running I guess I'll have to forget about the included instruments".
So the fifth time I get the same error, just ignore it and start pro tools. It of course, takes like a half hour to start (WOW - good job on the optimization digidesign eh?) and then finally I can at least look at the included fx because some of them seem pretty decent (bomb factory stuff, whatever). I pull open the mixer fx option to view plugins, and...
90% of them are mono. WTF
This is of course about 3 hours later after opening the box and starting to setup pro tools that I come to the realization that .
The last saving throw is that at least I can try an setup antares auto-tune and get that bitch out of the way. I go to ilok's site and setup an account for the GM, install the ilok drivers on my computer, put the physical ilok key in and cross my fingers that I don't run into even more problems. Yeah, right. The ilok runtimes can't detect the physical key in the computer so I try to close the browser, try again in google chrome instead of ie8 and try it again.
You know what happens then?? It tells me an ilok registration is already in progress and I have to wait 5 minutes. F**K YOU I HAD 5 MINUTES LIKE 3 HOURS AGO NOW IT'S EFFING MIDNIGHT AND I'M OUT OF TIME YOU ASSHATS.
But guess what?? You thought that was everything right? No, digidesign decided to throw on last FU in there for me. I installed reaper in the middle of this mess (which guess what? there actually is a native x64 installer for reaper unlike pro tools) and literally from the time I get to the reaper.fm webpage to the time I am actually in reaper with everything installed setup I couldn't have taken a pee break at the restroom faster.
The GM opens up reaper to start at least using the interface so SOMETHING works and he says "he, it tells me there is a problem with the ASIO drivers dude, what's going on with this". And I think "huh? reaper is having a problem? that sure as hell doesn't make any sense..." and go over there and have him open up the audio driver page to check what's going on. And here's where I get the really funny punchline from all this.
The default ASIO driver that reaper is now trying to open is not my fast track ultra that I had just installed with the OS. NO. It is a driver for Digidesign's own Eleven Rack, which I neither own nor ever will own but Pro Tools apparently went ahead and thought I needed it so it installed it for me, effectively supplanting the default ASIO driver that ACTUALLY EXISTED. HA HA HA, funny right? I tell you what, that was the last amount of hilarity I could stand - I threw my hands up and told the GM "f**k this, I'm going home dude, call your pro tools guru friend tomorrow and God help us if he doesn't know what to do".
I am never, EVER going to purchase a Digidesign, Pro Tools, or Avid product ever again at any point of my life of my own accord and if I see you walking down the street wearing a polo shirt with the digidesign logo on it - don't be suprised if I just punch in the face. REALLY HARD.
I hate you Digidesign. I hope your company dies.