The Cradle of the World

[steelcreed]

I have been journeying in the wasteland for seven years now. I've been sitting in this same spot for three of them.

I am a scientist, a rationaliser. I seek the logical explanation to the world. I do not admire God's creations because I do not believe they are God's. I have witnessed what trouble religion causes, what problems it vomits up in its hedonism, and I want none of it. So I applied my brain power to further my knowledge of, well, everything. I remember spending hours in the library, pouring over books on particles, quantum physics, advanced mathematics, anything I could get my hands on. I observed and tested theories on gravity and light, the way volcanoes erupt, the way plants feed off the sun. It all made so much sense. Here were sensible, proven theories why everything occurs as it should. I was mesmerised. But so far, all I had done was look and learn. I had not come up with any new idea myself.

So I thought. I considered Gormatus' principles of light refraction, Parascetes' theories of gravitational distribution and Norr's mass formation ideal. This was at a time of considerable religious upheaval, I considered myself lucky to have access to such resources. I went through my mathematics, testing and retesting every thought that came into my head. I drew detailed diagrams, covering the walls of my small but substantial lab in arcing sine waves and storms of coefficients. And then, it struck me. The sun of the perfect idea streamed through the storm of my equations. It was so simple, it surprised me no-one had considered it before. Perhaps this was what went through the minds of all great thinkers when they had a revelation that would change the world.

I brought my papers before the scientific community, showing them my mathematics, proving that my ideals were sound. And they liked it. By all the gold in Az, they loved it! It would be the discovery of the century, they told me. I would get prizes, commendations, the respect of the scientific world! But there were issues. As I have said, this came at a time when religion was at its strongest. My idea struck at the very core of their beliefs. They hurled insults and counter-arguments at me, and I reposted with mathematics and natural explanations. It was clear neither side would yield. That is, until one of the people (those insignificant little things that only sway the world when in the majority) made a suggestion. Things had to be seen to be believed, she said, so bring us visual evidence. Of course, I couldn't. My theory was based on maths, not physical proof. But then, neither could religion.

This was my chance, I could feel it. I requested grants to fund an expedition into the wastes that surrounded Az, to bring back photographic evidence of my discovery. No-one objected, not even the religious leaders, as they believed they were in the right. So I and a handful of explorers set out to cross the border wastes, a feat never accomplished by any man. I would not just be hailed as a hero of science but a hero of exploration. Nothing could go wrong.

So, here I am now, sitting on a rock in the middle of a landscape like bleached bone. The sill is cracked, as broken as my heart. All my hopes and dreams rested on this theory. I had been so sure that our world was spherical, so sure. All my equations were sound, all the natural laws made sense. It had to be true. It had to be.

But what can I see? I can see branches. Branches thicker than mountains, longer than the greatest of rivers, stretching out into the sky. They emerge from the face of the edge of the world, pushing their way out from the rock to spiral away. Leaves the size of islands sprout from the bark, catching the sun's light and warmth. The clouds themselves flow in and around house sized buds, the weather seemingly entangled in the twigs. And, far away in the tangled expanse, I can hear a song, a haunting, wailing song of some great bird perched beyond the clouds.

A tree!? An enormous tree?! How can that be possible? How could its branches support a continent, what roots could fuel such a monstrous beast? Are we resting on a single spindly trunk, or are we resting on an entire forest stretching up into the sky? It should be impossible. It must be. But then I would be denying the evidence of my own eyes, and I would be no better than some nonsensical fanatic. And yet, I can feel all my hopes and dreams tumbling away, as if falling over the edge into the great abyss below me.

I spent years looking at those branches, trying to solve the paradox of denying the plain evidence, while still behaving in a logical way. I couldn't do it. Every time I tried to believe I was hallucinating or that this was some kind of elaborate mirage, it came back to me. That giant tree, bigger than worlds, cradling Az in its heart. I even considered walking out over the edge, just to prove there was solid ground beyond, but I could not bring myself to do it.

After three years, I realise that there is nothing I can do, nothing I can say, that will make the tree go away. But another thought strikes me. This is a great discovery. It will be a new challenge to explain it. How the tree lives, how it survives. What secrets could it hold within its bark?

I decide that more research needs to be conducted. I get up off my rock and turn towards home, with only a glance back at the wondrous sight behind me. I set off towards the main camp, one foot in front of the other, kicking up dust as I virtually skip with a smile on my face. Already, theories are beginning to form in my mind.

And behind me, the bird sings its song of the world tree again.

Fin

This is one of my much older stories that I've dredged up from my old deviantArt account. Tell me what you think.

[TheThing]

*NOTE* I'm not sure when you wrote this thing, so you may not care to fix it, but I'm going to review it like you do want to fix it.*END NOTE*

I liked it. It seemed pretty banal in the beginning, but it got much more eloquent by the end. There are a few things I didn't like specifically, but overall this is a very good piece.

I do like that there's something underneath this story. Too often I read the stuff on Newgrounds and other sites that clearly has no message to it, or the message is so obscured that it's impossible to figure out. This, on the other hand, finds that happy medium; it's deep enough for there to be a meaning to it, but it's just shallow enough to clue the reader in on that meaning. It's like a few inches of ice; you can see the object below, but you have to look hard and use your mind to figure out what it its.

What I would like to see is a better explanation of what Az is. At first, I thought you were just breaking a grammar rule and abbreviating "Arizona", when it turns out that Az is a country (or planet, or a province of a country/planet). While it was a nice surprise that Az isn't on Earth (assumedly), you need to clarify that aspect of the story a bit more, otherwise the reader is thinking about where exactly this scientist is, rather than the giant tree. Unless you have some symbolism in the name Az, change it to something a bit less "inspired" by actual places.

Secondly, the description of the tree needs to be better. It's abstract and fleeting. I can't really get a clear picture of this enormous tree sticking out of a desert with island-sized leaves. The description is just too abstract. I do like the metaphors you included, but they aren't a substitute for a solid picture of the scene. Just add a bit more; can the guy see the base? Or the trunk? Or the edge of his world? Can he see the branch the world is sitting on? All of this not only makes it easier for the reader to understand what the fuck is going on, but it also can add to the metaphor of this story, or create a new one.

Third, questions that should be answered within the story. Why is this guy out there for 3 years? shouldn't it take a couple of weeks to see the tree, try to figure it out, then leave? And why is he even in the wasteland for 4 years before that? If he wanted to prove the world was round, why is he walking through a wasteland? Shouldn't he be doing some kind of other experiments? I mean, the science you set up make it seem modern day/future (or at the very least not biblical), so there has to be planes and electronic equipment. Wait; why can nobody see the GIANT TREE THAT IS HOLDING UP DOZENS, IF NOT HUNDREDS, OF OTHER WORLDS?

This would make a great Part 1 or introduction to a longer story. With a few more words, you can fully flesh out Az, it's technology, it's society, and it's people. You can also extend and further explain that metaphor I was talking about at the beginning of the review. But you should definitely continue this piece. It has the potential to get published, if done right, and I think you might be able to do it right.

[steelcreed]

Thankyou for the comments. I'm glad someone left a note. I may come back to this story someday but I doubt it. It would be a nice side project, but it would definitely need expanding.

To answer some of your questions, I had in my mind more of a Renaissance setting, a point where science is just coming into its own. But I can understand why a reader would need more clarification.