How to Type as if You were Smart

[TwilightFox]

Written by my good friend Charlie for HulpitGaming, and he's given me permission to repost it on Newgrounds because frankly many of you need this.
Ahem:

I'm here to give you folks a grammar lesson! So sit down, and read the post...

First of all, let me provide you with a few learning resources.

Dictionary/Reference.com

I-Am-Bored's rather vulgar grammar lesson.

The official website for "Phonics"

English Grammar 101

English Grammar 101

English Grammar 101

Okay. Let's begin.

Sentences start with a capital letter, and end with some sort of punctuation mark. The appropriate punctuation marks to end a sentence with are a period (.), an exclamation mark (!), or a question mark (?).

When you are talking about yourself in the first person, the letter "I" is capitalized. When you are using the letter "I" as the first letter In a word, It Is not capitalized, like I am doing In this sentence.

An apostrophe, "'", is used to replace the letter/letters you are taking out of a word when you use what we english professors call a "contraction." an example of a contraction is the word "don't." It is a contraction of the two words "do" and "not." As you can see, if you put a space after the letter "o", you would have "do n't." If you replace the "'" with another "o" you have "do not." See what I'm getting at? The same thing applies to I'm, or "I am", etc. Often, you want to express that this thing belongs to that person, in which case an apostrophe is your best friend. If you want to say that those crayons belong to Sarah, you would say "Those are Sarah's crayons." The "'s" is possessive, meaning that the crayons belong to Sarah. If the person's name ends with a letter that has the "s" sound in it (phonics, people, I provided you with a link), like "Max", then you would put the apostrophe after his name, and forget the "s". For example, "Those crayons do not belong to Sarah. She stole them from Max. Therefore, they are Max' crayons." The same thing applies if you are trying to use a, for lack of a better term, "plural possessive contraction." If your principal wants you to get a signature from either your mom or dad, (s)he would say "I want you to get your parent's signature." If (s)he wants a signature from both your mom and dad, she would say, "I want you to get your parents' signature."

Letters of the alphabet are not meant to be replaced with whole words. If you want to represent a thought in a sentence, and one of your words happens to consist only of one single letter, you better be damned sure that's how it's supposed to be spelled. If you don't know for sure, I was kind enough to provide you with a link to Dictionary.com up at the top of this post, so take a quick journey to that website and see if you're typing like a pro with your single-letter words, or if you need to clean up your act.

Next are words that sound/are spelled the same, but mean different things.

To - I am going to the grocery store.

Too - I want to go, too!

Two - Well, I guess two people can go.

I believe the differences between those are obvious, so let's (let us, look back at contractions. ;D) move on.

There:

Kim - Where are they?
Rodney - They are over there.

They're:

Kim - Where are they?
Rodney - They're (A contraction for "they" and "are") over there.

Their:

Kim - Where are they?
Rodney - They're over there.
Kim - Okay, thanks, I want to give them their (Possessive, "their", meaning "belonging to them.") sandwiches so they have something to eat at lunch.

I'm afraid this lesson is coming to an end. I ask that you please read, and attempt to comprehend and use everything I have put in this post, as well as read through the learning resources I have provided you with (aside from Dictionary.com, that's not really something you can read through.)

[Homie-Z]

wat is dis am i phunny yet see its funnee cuz dis was bout typin smart and i r typin not like i smart which make it funnee you will laff at dis becuz no 1 will do dis i garuntea

[iateamexican]

What did you say?
Mythical beastiality?
I think he said mythical beastiality.

[Homie-Z]

At 8/8/10 01:01 PM, iateamexican wrote: What did you say?
Mythical beastiality?
I think he said mythical beastiality.

I definitely read mythical bestiality.

[TwilightFox]

TL;DR: Read the fucking post, dumbshit.
Those who say 'it's the internet, it doesn't matter' consider this:
You say it's a waste of time typing correctly.
I say it's a waste of time trying to figure out what the fuck you're saying.
Surely there's some common ground here.

[Faze]

At 8/8/10 01:01 PM, Homie-Z wrote: wat is dis am i phunny yet see its funnee cuz dis was bout typin smart and i r typin not like i smart which make it funnee you will laff at dis becuz no 1 will do dis i garuntea

ya ur probly rite

[PWJP]

the most common mistake is "your" instead of "you're", and you forgot to mention it.
lololol dashum gewd tipyng mah sire!

[Lagerkapo]

How to speak as if one were intelligent: Be intelligent.

[FlyByNight]

You also forgot "Should of" vs "Should have."

[Letiger]

When will the next lesson happen and what is the homework assignment?

[Lagerkapo]

Better yet: fake it til you make it.

[lawlmaster]

Are you fucking kidding me, I already know all this shit.

[Homie-Z]

At 8/8/10 01:19 PM, Piss wrote: suck me peenis

suck hes peenis

[TwilightFox]

At 8/8/10 01:22 PM, lawlmaster wrote: Are you fucking kidding me, I already know all this shit.

You are intelligent.

Also the original article had a much better title but character limits kept me from using it.

[6r0undZ3r0]

I'm pretty sure the ideas you're writing about dictate whether you're smart or not. Grammar just influences whether other people see you as an idiot.

[Ptero]

tis articol sukeked

[walterwagner]

TL:DR

6th grade English Lesson

[Lordboy54]

i liek diks,

did i do rite"

[TwilightFox]

At 8/8/10 03:41 PM, walterwagner wrote: TL:DR

6th grade English Lesson

The sad part is, most of the internet needs it...

[Saren]

How to type as if your smart:

- Talk about intellectual topics such as staying fit and being healthy
- Making a good grammar name such as "x & and y"
- PARAGRAPHS, PARAGRAPHS, PARAGRAPHS

[Odio]

watashi wa baka dewanai watashi wa kawaii onnanoko desu~

[ThR]

At 8/8/10 03:41 PM, walterwagner wrote: TL:DR

6th grade English Lesson

But i began to learn english in the 7th grade...

[4Doctodragon]

I'm really too drunk to give a shit about my typing. However I'm a professional both at typing, proof reading, and the english languange, but if I do slip then I should not fret, for I all I care to do right now is express my ideas to the world.

[mmmburgers]

guy guys' a'm doin rite!

[TechnoHound]

I dislike this thread very much, I think that if you had posted this in a more appropriate forum you would've gotten better views, no one on Newgrounds want to read your shit, i am sorry.

[Luke]

Grammar doesn't necessarily make somebody seem more intelligent or anything... But that's cool bro.

[KieranNG]

tl;dr
But mythical beastiality was in there.