Be a Supporter!

Awkward boner moments?

  • 102,349 Views
  • 219 Replies
New Topic Respond to this Topic
selena
selena
  • Member since: Dec. 22, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 08
Art Lover
Response to Awkward boner moments? Feb. 5th, 2013 @ 07:41 PM Reply

dis one tyme i got a rager rigght at the mall!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omfg it waz hilariouss


BBS Signature
McJobes
McJobes
  • Member since: Nov. 29, 2011
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 03
Blank Slate
Response to Awkward boner moments? Feb. 5th, 2013 @ 08:00 PM Reply

At 2/5/13 07:41 PM, selena wrote: dis one tyme i got a rager rigght at the mall!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omfg it waz hilariouss

bet they had to put some of these around the mall

Awkward boner moments?


“Courage is not having the strength to go on; it is going on when you don't have the strength.”
He's back :3

DevourerJay
DevourerJay
  • Member since: Jan. 24, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 43
Blank Slate
Response to Awkward boner moments? Feb. 6th, 2013 @ 12:01 AM Reply

the worst one would have to be when you friend is crying and hugging you and being all over you... and then your mind wanders off... ti doesn't even have to be just a friend, could be gf, wife, etc etc...
has it happened to me? yeah, one time my wife was crying over something on TV... and yeah... :3


DevourerJay~Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Sig By Xeno.
Formerly known as MissingNYC

BBS Signature
Tyrone16
Tyrone16
  • Member since: May. 12, 2013
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 01
Blank Slate
Response to Awkward boner moments? May. 12th, 2013 @ 02:36 AM Reply

I have a great story (age 13, 8th grade). I was in my social workers small office telling how my week was going which was bad. She's hot, 27 white, long blonde hair, thin and tall; so we were talking. Some how we're looking straight into each others eyes. I was sitting at a desk so my lap was unvisible. She saw that I looked uncomfortable and asked what's wrong. Of course I lied and said nothing. She told me that she is the social worker and I can tell her anything. So I told her I have a boner. She got up, locked the door and pulled the desk away from me. She stood right in front of me looking down with no expression and said "I know how to make that 6 inches feel better." She turned around 180° back towards me then gently sat down on it. I was burning inside but my hormoines wanted it. She said "Now what." I caressed her body while she gave me a lap dance (10min). She told me to use the restroom and when I got back she said "Now sit." My 6 in. shrunk; she got on her knees crawling towards me kneeled in between my legs. She pulled my zipper down and opened my underwear hole. My penis still hadn't grown yet. She put my entire penis inside her mouth and it started growing. She had then began to give me a blow job while I caressed her ass (10min). Afterwards to dry it she gave me a hand job which now made my penis immortal as she also scratched it gently with her nails. She took me to the nearest wall and grinded me good for a while I caressed her lower body (5min).

Silverspecks
Silverspecks
  • Member since: Jun. 12, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 17
Artist
Response to Awkward boner moments? May. 12th, 2013 @ 02:53 AM Reply

I was in the hallway of my high school when I saw fine looking group of girls which made me grow downstairs. I then joined the rest of the soccer team in the locker rooms. They were so fucking juvenile. I didn't live down having a boner in the boy's locker room for about two years.


Cybercity Newgrounds: A Cop's Tale
I wanna be an author someday.

BBS Signature
Ragnarokia
Ragnarokia
  • Member since: Sep. 29, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Supporter
Level 22
Writer
Response to Awkward boner moments? May. 12th, 2013 @ 02:55 AM Reply

When Trixie's assistant came onstage in her highly, interesting, costume. She managed to still perform of course, but had to teach Twilight a lesson about attire in her wagon afterwards.


When this post hits 88 mph, you're going to see some serious friendship.
Let's Player, Artist, Pony writer, Cuteness!

BBS Signature
T3XT
T3XT
  • Member since: Jan. 7, 2012
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 04
Gamer
Response to Awkward boner moments? May. 12th, 2013 @ 03:00 AM Reply

Met sexy guy, recieve hug, blushed for ten minutes, and when I came to I realized I was hard.

...in gym class. In gym shorts.

I always felt like people could see it, so embarrassing.

Ragnarokia
Ragnarokia
  • Member since: Sep. 29, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Supporter
Level 22
Writer
Response to Awkward boner moments? May. 12th, 2013 @ 05:00 AM Reply

Getting an erection when you are recovering from a circumcision is very painful. Since the bandages are made to be constricting around the flacid penis, thus the erection doesn't get the room to expand but the blood does so anyway, resulting in some exceptionally painful erections.

If having a circumcision, my advice would be to avoid looking at or thinking of sexually stimulating things until you have recovered and taken the bandages off. Advice for life there.


When this post hits 88 mph, you're going to see some serious friendship.
Let's Player, Artist, Pony writer, Cuteness!

BBS Signature
Fisplen
Fisplen
  • Member since: Oct. 22, 2012
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 01
Blank Slate
Response to Awkward boner moments? May. 12th, 2013 @ 05:36 AM Reply

The most awkward one ive ever had was at my great grandmothers house some time ago , I was siting on the sofa ( couch ) and all of a sudden it just popped up , nobody noticed and tried my hardest to hide it , but then my mum said we had to go and I was like " Oh shit... " so I quickly had to walk out the room with a fully erect boner , I don't know if my great grandmother seen it but my mum definitely did , my mums the sort of mum who tells my friends all about stuff like that , and laughs and jokes about it with me.


'' Love is like a magnet , with most magnets repelling each other , however one day You will find that dodgy magnet that doesn't repel , one that sticks to You forever ''
Me

LemonCrush
LemonCrush
  • Member since: Sep. 9, 2012
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 01
Blank Slate
Response to Awkward boner moments? May. 12th, 2013 @ 02:17 PM Reply

First time i ever REALLY made out with my ex. I'd never had sex before. Nor had i ever really had my hands in places where I had my hands.

We were making out, and I got hard of course. And it wasn't embarrasing, but I was trying to keep my cool so to speak. I didn't want to cum in my pants or anything...and I didn't, but still. it was the first time we made out, I wasn't trying to fuck her right away you know.

It was awesome.

ChaRee
ChaRee
  • Member since: Jun. 15, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 03
Blank Slate
Response to Awkward boner moments? May. 12th, 2013 @ 04:10 PM Reply

At 5/12/13 02:17 PM, LemonCrush wrote: First time i ever REALLY made out with my ex. I'd never had sex before. Nor had i ever really had my hands in places where I had my hands.

We were making out, and I got hard of course. And it wasn't embarrasing, but I was trying to keep my cool so to speak. I didn't want to cum in my pants or anything...and I didn't, but still. it was the first time we made out, I wasn't trying to fuck her right away you know.

I don't get why guys are embarrassed when they get hard from making out. To be honest I'd feel like shit if I could get a bf or someone hard while making out.

RenfieldHarker
RenfieldHarker
  • Member since: Jun. 20, 2013
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 01
Writer
Response to Awkward boner moments? Jul. 24th, 2013 @ 08:41 PM Reply

There was one time, heeeeesh...
I was at a pool wearing swim trunks that were not too small, but rather too large, for me. They were sliding down just a touch, some of my hair was showing, and a girl I found to be a haute chic pointed it out. I looked down, and popped one right then and there, and it was at full power in about a second. You'd think that'd keep the trunks on, wouldn't you?

There was another time, I had a physical (there are so many physical erection stories out there, I know...) and the doctor was of course female, and somewhat attractive, but I wouldn't seriously consider dating her. When she asked me to cough, the sensation of my gonads jumping in her hand gave me an instant and rock-hard erection. I apologized, stuttering, but she replied, "No, no, this is fine--this is good. This'll give us an opportunity to head off any problems at the pass you might have in this department." She didn't fondle it sexually, but she held it, shifted it around with two fingers, and observed it pulse. Then she gave it a sharp thwack with two fingers and it bounced around. She blushed slightly, and said, "That usually makes it go down. Maybe I didn't hit the right nerve. Mind if I try it again?"
Well, if she'd tried it again, I suspect it might have necessitated a change of scrubs on her part, so I told her I'd just let it go down naturally. She blushed and smiled, almost as embarrassed as I was, it seems, and told me she'd get the nurse to wrap things up, she needed to tend to another case. I decided to let the monster fall asleep before I put my clothes back on, since I was wearing briefs and it wouldn't have done my erection any favors. So when the nurse came in, she saw my member at Power Level 9000, tittered, and offered to turn while I 'concealed the beast'.
The doc wasn't embarrassing. The nurse...really was.


How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It's already been changed! Nobody knew about it! WE'VE ALL BEEN LULLED TO SLEEP AND BEEN FED LIES!

mothballs
mothballs
  • Member since: Nov. 16, 2005
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 37
Game Developer
Response to Awkward boner moments? Jul. 24th, 2013 @ 09:21 PM Reply

The last paragraph made me laugh pretty fucking hard, especially the last sentence.

As for myself, I can't say I can remember ever having an awkward boner moment. Boners are easy to hide.

Lemonardo
Lemonardo
  • Member since: Sep. 9, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 13
Musician
Response to Awkward boner moments? Jul. 24th, 2013 @ 09:29 PM Reply

I've never had an 'awkward boner moment.'

I'm not weird.


BBS Signature
PiperAnn
PiperAnn
  • Member since: Nov. 16, 2012
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Supporter
Level 11
Voice Actor
Response to Awkward boner moments? Jul. 25th, 2013 @ 12:27 AM Reply

I'm going to answer this from the other point of view. There were two awkward boners in one of my health classes belonging to these two guys in the back. They were both rubbing themselves too. I think one of them actually jizzed because at one point, one of them brought their hand up and it had white stuff on it. I'm not fucking joking.


Thank you for everyone's continued support. You guys are the best!

BBS Signature
Conal
Conal
  • Member since: Jul. 25, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 31
Melancholy
Response to Awkward boner moments? Jul. 25th, 2013 @ 10:47 AM Reply

I used to lift my desk with my boner.

The most awkward time was when I was about 5. Me & some female were trying to pass one another via this narrow gap between the tables. My boner stabbed her side as we went passed.


​   ▲      ▲      ▲
▲ ▲▲ ▲▲ ▲
                                                                      ಠ_ಠ

BBS Signature
Sielumetsien
Sielumetsien
  • Member since: Jun. 30, 2013
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 02
Gamer
Response to Awkward boner moments? Jul. 25th, 2013 @ 01:23 PM Reply

Walk into an elevator which is full of women. Electrocute myself while my boss is looking at me. Drink vodka in the city center and get everybody (literally) looking at me. Watch porns in public libraries.

Dexinstent
Dexinstent
  • Member since: Jul. 29, 2013
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 01
Blank Slate
Response to Awkward boner moments? Jul. 30th, 2013 @ 01:53 AM Reply

I ordered pizza, and right when the doorbell rang, BANG instant boner. Most awkward pizza/money transaction ever. Oh yeah just to tease me, the "Beast" went to sleep right after I got the pizza.

BigFatKid
BigFatKid
  • Member since: Aug. 15, 2009
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 06
Audiophile
Response to Awkward boner moments? Aug. 3rd, 2013 @ 02:55 AM Reply

If I see a thread title with the word "toilet" in it next to a happy smiley face, then I get a raging boner.

Boomstick
Boomstick
  • Member since: Nov. 4, 2010
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 27
Melancholy
Response to Awkward boner moments? Aug. 3rd, 2013 @ 02:59 AM Reply

Fun Fact: we pop boners while sleeping to keep our penis stimulated or some scientific reason that I can't be bothered to verify.


I HДVЗИ'T ЭДTЗЙ SLICЭD ЬЯЗДD SIИCЭ I ШДS TЩЗLVЭ

BBS Signature
BigFatKid
BigFatKid
  • Member since: Aug. 15, 2009
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 06
Audiophile
Response to Awkward boner moments? Aug. 3rd, 2013 @ 03:01 AM Reply

At 8/3/13 02:59 AM, Boomstick wrote: Fun Fact: we pop boners while sleeping to keep our penis stimulated or some scientific reason that I can't be bothered to verify.

because morning wood is fun

Boomstick
Boomstick
  • Member since: Nov. 4, 2010
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 27
Melancholy
Response to Awkward boner moments? Aug. 3rd, 2013 @ 03:07 AM Reply

At 8/3/13 03:01 AM, BigFatKid wrote:
At 8/3/13 02:59 AM, Boomstick wrote: Fun Fact: we pop boners while sleeping to keep our penis stimulated or some scientific reason that I can't be bothered to verify.
because morning wood is fun

Awkward boner moments?


I HДVЗИ'T ЭДTЗЙ SLICЭD ЬЯЗДD SIИCЭ I ШДS TЩЗLVЭ

BBS Signature
RenfieldHarker
RenfieldHarker
  • Member since: Jun. 20, 2013
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 01
Writer
Response to Awkward boner moments? Oct. 2nd, 2013 @ 07:35 AM Reply

At 7/24/13 09:29 PM, Lemonardo wrote: I've never had an 'awkward boner moment.'

I'm not weird.

Ah....you're not weird? I'm sorry. Life must be so hard for the normal. Were you born that way, or was your weird simply stunted during your childhood?


How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It's already been changed! Nobody knew about it! WE'VE ALL BEEN LULLED TO SLEEP AND BEEN FED LIES!

MR-DOS
MR-DOS
  • Member since: Jun. 10, 2011
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 02
Programmer
Response to Awkward boner moments? Oct. 2nd, 2013 @ 11:06 AM Reply

At 7/17/10 11:14 PM, AnonymousAlchemist wrote: When the teacher walked in, the bitch tattled on me (saying that I had forced her to sit on my boner), and I almost got a week of detention. My friends bailed me out and said what really happened.

Only a week? Damn, your school was lenient. That would qualify as sexual harassment, and at any school I went to, the penalty started at suspension and sometimes included a police investigation. Didn't happen to me, but it happened to a friend of mine who was later found to be completely innocent in all charges and that the person who reported it was just being a spiteful bitch, as he had told her earlier in the day that their relationship wasn't going to work out ('cause she was a complete bitch and he had good reason to believe she was cheating on him).

Anyway, my most awkward boner was when I was like 12 and had my one year old baby sister on my lap. It was completely spontaneous, but I am probably lucky no one saw or knew (I wore sweatpants a lot back then) because there would've been serious consequences had that been taken out of context.


"Idle hands reach for the genitals." - Unknown (didn't give enough fucks to look it up either)
...
FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP

Lemonardo
Lemonardo
  • Member since: Sep. 9, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 13
Musician
Response to Awkward boner moments? Oct. 2nd, 2013 @ 12:57 PM Reply

At 10/2/13 07:35 AM, RenfieldHarker wrote:
At 7/24/13 09:29 PM, Lemonardo wrote: I've never had an 'awkward boner moment.'

I'm not weird.
Ah....you're not weird? I'm sorry. Life must be so hard for the normal. Were you born that way, or was your weird simply stunted during your childhood?

I didn't know people would defend being awkward.

I'm sorry I upset you.


BBS Signature
Entice
Entice
  • Member since: Jun. 30, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 13
Blank Slate
Response to Awkward boner moments? Oct. 2nd, 2013 @ 01:00 PM Reply

Seeing hot people in tight clothes at the gym sucks

Rahmemhotep
Rahmemhotep
  • Member since: May. 10, 2009
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 12
Melancholy
Response to Awkward boner moments? Oct. 2nd, 2013 @ 01:27 PM Reply

At 7/24/13 09:21 PM, mothballs wrote:
Boners are easy to hide.

... Extremely self-incriminating statement right there.


My sig is clickable and takes you some place.
Best Thread Ever

BBS Signature
RacistBassist
RacistBassist
  • Member since: Jun. 14, 2004
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 16
Melancholy
Response to Awkward boner moments? Oct. 2nd, 2013 @ 01:30 PM Reply

Me and a bunch of my friends got naked to start taking snapchats to send to friends that weren't there.

Now, if you know anything about takingnaked pictures, you of course need to be rocking the half torque. Thankfully, there were girls getting ready for the picture also, so it was relatively simple to be getting the blood starting to flow. Unfortunately however, me and this other guy decided to kill a half gallon of tequila together using beer as a chaser so I got blackout drunk, and I crossed the threshold from half torque to fully torqued.

Or, there was this time at my friends house where his girlfriend, me, some random chick, and this other dude were the other ones up. Naturally, we are taking dick pics to send to people, with my friends girlfriend taking the picture and the random between me and my buddy. She reached down and grabbed us. I popped a boner. That look on my face was fucking priceless because I am just cheesing laughing. I was forwarded the message the next day. I show all my friends the picture. I lied. I show everyone I've known for even 5 minutes it. It's fucking great.


All the cool kids have signature text

BBS Signature
fuzzum111
fuzzum111
  • Member since: Aug. 18, 2007
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 39
Blank Slate
Response to Awkward boner moments? Oct. 2nd, 2013 @ 02:17 PM Reply

Mine are easy to hide so I don't really get awkward boners.


My Youtube channel
http://www.youtube.com/user/fuzzum1 11
If you get a ban, it was totally worth it. 10/10, I love you. -Skaren

BBS Signature
ash
ash
  • Member since: Jan. 6, 2010
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 08
Melancholy
Response to Awkward boner moments? Oct. 2nd, 2013 @ 02:30 PM Reply

My boyfriend had an infection in his nut once
and a packi doctor was checkin him out, and he had a boner.

A MALE PACKI DR.

never gonna let him live that one down.

On the other hand before his examination we were alone in there talking about blowjobs. So idk maybe it was my fault, but still hilarious


BBS Signature