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What's the most awkward moment you've gotten a boner? Could be a story of something that happened to you that resulted in an awkward erection, or it could be the strangest thing that gives you a hard-on.
Once when I was a freshman in high school, there was this girl in my Health class who was about a 3/10 on looks, 0/10 on personality, and 20/5 in bitchiness. Anyways, so she liked to wear these clothes that were revealing of her unflattering body (she was about 120 pounds and about 4 feet, 6 inches tall, so a little chubby because of her height), especially those pants that are cut and laced on the sides (I don't know what they're called, but you know, you could see the sides of her legs, and her underwear as well). Anyways, she had a tendency to tease guys that she liked, and hated to find out that they didn't like her back (because she's a bitch), so she goes to guys that she hates and sexually teases them. I was one of those she hated.
What happened was that I was sitting on a couch in the classroom (yeah, there was a comfy couch in the back of the classroom) before class started. I was sitting, chilling with my friends, and all of a sudden, she sat on my lap. She got her ass as close to my dick as possible. Now, at this point, my friends were kinda giving me grief. You know what I mean, and with this being a freshmen class, we were pretty immature. Anyways, so I had never had a girl on my lap, and I felt it coming. I popped a hard boner pretty quickly, and of course, she felt it. She was surprised pretty badly, and she leaped off, and the entire class saw my boner. When the teacher walked in, the bitch tattled on me (saying that I had forced her to sit on my boner), and I almost got a week of detention. My friends bailed me out and said what really happened.
For the rest of the day, I had a boner, and everyone in the school had heard what happened. I had to masturbate three times to get rid of my erection.
The weirdest thing that gave me a boner was in a kid's science book about the frog life cycle. In it, reproduction was included. The picture depicting it looked like a frog getting a piggy back ride on another frog. I was 8 when I saw it.
To be honest Since I hit my growth spurt (8 months ago) I got erections all the tiem school train home but my penis was too little enrict for anyone too notice unless they were looking.But now if I get enricted it pops out im about near 6 inches so yea.But the weridest was when I was just chilling with friends and I got a boner out of nowhere,They didn't contact me for about a week and a half.
I once got hard in such an awkward position it felt as though my dick was trying to bust through the zipper, as if it wanted to get out. And considering the view down there, I wouldn't blame it.
I was talking to a girl I was interested in while laying on a bed. If you've ever seen a skinny white boy try to fight his dick back into his pants during because it's attempting to escape, you'll know it can look pretty awkward.
And it was :S
Sig courtesy of QuikFox
At 7/17/10 11:33 PM, LeroyJ wrote: I had a boner one time during intercourse. It was really awkward and embarrassing, I still haven't lived that down.
Don't lie. I know you loved it.
Once this guy was pounding my ass, he went to give me the reach around. . .
and I had a boner.
You would not believe your eyes if ten million fireflies fucked you with a rake
I got a boner right when I had to get off the bus. It was great.
I am not witty or clever enough to make my own sig, thus I have stolen one instead.
I always seem to get a raging erection about five minutes before the break in my History class.
Which sucks, because I always wear basket ball shorts to that class, since it's so fucking hot in there.
For some reason, if I'm lying down on a hotel bed, I get a boner. I don't understand it. Its not a morningwood thing, it'll just be like CHAZAM! a few minutes after I'm laying there. And its one of those god damn immortal ones, that doesn't go away for flippin hours. So I just always have to lay on hotel beds in a strange way to hide it if anyone's around.
At 7/17/10 11:36 PM, Yukin wrote: That story seems too funny to be true my friend? Sure nothing ain't a little exaggerated?
Nope. It's 100% true. I wish I was exaggerating. Tell me about your boner experiences. No Homo or anything.
At 7/17/10 11:41 PM, AnonymousAlchemist wrote:At 7/17/10 11:36 PM, Yukin wrote: That story seems too funny to be true my friend? Sure nothing ain't a little exaggerated?Nope. It's 100% true. I wish I was exaggerating. Tell me about your boner experiences. No Homo or anything.
Well mine is really bad or anything. Here's how my story is like. My class, and some other classes we're returning from a school field trip from a university. So we were taking public transit, and were currently on the bus. So I was lucky enough to get a seat, since we pretty much filled the bus. So this one girl (with a big ass i might say) didnt wanna stand up so she just said "Im to tired im sitting on ur lap". So she sits down and then her other friend, decides to sit on top of her whos on top of me. So I got two chicks on top me for about 10minutes. Her ass was really cumfy I might add so it really cushoined out the weight. So like you I got a huge boner, and I know she felt it, I saw her look back at me, but she just ignored it the whole ride. Yeah thats my story.
Do you guys wan2 know what a boner is? I can tell you because I just lerned today what a bonner is.
It is when your penis becomes so pumped that it actually becomes HARD (liek a bone).
At 7/18/10 12:10 AM, AnonymousAlchemist wrote:At 7/18/10 12:04 AM, Yukin wrote: Two bitches sat on my lapInteresting. Sounds like an awesome time. Was either girl hot? How long ago was that?
Well the initial chick who sat on me, her bod is great but her face not so much, shes like a 7/10 (wouldnt date her though), and the other chick bout the opposite, except for great legs, (so she has a great face), so same 7/10. That was like in May. What I forgot to mentions is that a girl who rejected me earlier on in the year was awkwardly across from us, and she was trying not to face us. Awwww yeah. Revenge is sweet
One time i was just making out with my friend, minding our own business, then I god a boner.
But that was okay, because I got to put it in his ass that night.
And it was Stem.
Don't be STOOPID!
At 7/18/10 12:27 AM, dathmaster wrote: I'm not allowed to get boners or all the blood in my body will go to my penis and I'll die
blood? You shuld c a doctor then.
My dad taught me that your bonner is fills almost ENTIRELY with pee.
He also sayd me not to talk about them so much, but how cn u not tlak about something so great as bonner?
arite, i used to do freestyle skiing, and a big part of our training was on the trampoline. We were at the training center and taking turns bouncing and doing our shiz. Somehow my mind wandered and i started thinking about sex with ladies and i popped this pretty intense boner. Next thing i know, coach goes "mikey, you're up". Not realizing the irony of this until later, i freak out and try to remove boner as fast as possible with thoughts of lemonparty and tubgirl. It's no hope. I've got sweat pants on, and my penoire is totally fucking sticking out and i bounce anyway. My whole team can see it and my coach starts laughing at me. It sucked pretty bad.
oh i have another story.
This friend of mine used to spend band class seeing how many textbooks he could lift with his boner. He'd tap us on the shoulder and say "Hey guys... look!" and be lifting 2 or 3. The guy is a fucking animal.
At 7/17/10 11:34 PM, AnonymousAlchemist wrote:At 7/17/10 11:33 PM, LeroyJ wrote: I had a boner one time during intercourse. It was really awkward and embarrassing, I still haven't lived that down.Don't lie. I know you loved it.
Fine, I loved every minute of it. I have no shame!
At 7/18/10 12:45 AM, LeroyJ wrote:At 7/17/10 11:34 PM, AnonymousAlchemist wrote:Fine, I loved every minute of it. I have no shame!At 7/17/10 11:33 PM, LeroyJ wrote: I had a boner one time during intercourse. It was really awkward and embarrassing, I still haven't lived that down.Don't lie. I know you loved it.
Twelve seconds is not a minute.
So I was home alone today
the sun was shining (which is very rare in our country) and I had nothing to do...
so I said to myself, I'm gonna relax naked in the garden (cause nobody was home anyway) and I fell asleep and after 3 hours I woke up
I got burned, but that's not the stupid part... while I was sleeping I had a wet dream, so I slept with an erected penis the whole time and now I've got this on my belly
during gym one of said bitchy but hot girls was in there, and she was wearing a very short pair of shorts...
She did a high kick and i got to see her shaven "beaver", if you will
A boner in the boys locker room is quite looked down upon
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
Hmmm well I normally can tuck mine up into my waistband where nobody can really notice mine, so no embarrassment so far. But, I know feel the need to tease you because you got a raging boner because a fat girl sat in your lap. Shame shame.
For I am and forever shall be... a master ruseman.
i was in spanish class and i had some kahkis on, and i had a boner and ten the guy nextto me looks down and says ew what the hell is that lump in your pants