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Mwc10 - July. Discussion

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cheezy805
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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 7th, 2010 @ 09:45 AM Reply

At 7/5/10 05:54 PM, munio wrote: preferably american but australian and the queens english wil also be accepted
But please any entries written before 1800 will be disqualified

AMERICAN AND AUSTRALIAN ARE NOT LANGUAGES!! IM AN AUSSIE, MY STORY IS BASED IN SYDNEY! WE ALL SPEAK ENGLISH

bloody americans... in ohio you actually arent allowed to speak english, you have to speak american... whoever decided that deserves a Dumbest Political Party Member in Show award...


"Fall in love, take chances, make mistakes." ~Wings of Burning Love - OdysseyEurobeat

sinfulwolf
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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 7th, 2010 @ 01:12 PM Reply

At 7/7/10 09:45 AM, cheezy805 wrote:
At 7/5/10 05:54 PM, munio wrote: preferably american but australian and the queens english wil also be accepted
But please any entries written before 1800 will be disqualified
AMERICAN AND AUSTRALIAN ARE NOT LANGUAGES!! IM AN AUSSIE, MY STORY IS BASED IN SYDNEY! WE ALL SPEAK ENGLISH

bloody americans... in ohio you actually arent allowed to speak english, you have to speak american... whoever decided that deserves a Dumbest Political Party Member in Show award...

They may not be seperate languages, but they are separate dialects. There are differences in phrases, pronunciation, spelling, and words used. Canada uses English differently than the US, by using words like "colour" rather than "color". The UK has a sport called football which in North America is called soccer while football is something quite different.

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 7th, 2010 @ 01:27 PM Reply

At 7/7/10 01:12 PM, sinfulwolf wrote: The UK has a sport called football which in North America is called soccer while football is something quite different.

It's not football in the US, it's handegg :p


- The Run -- Cargo || The Run -- Drop - The Run is an episodic sci-fi story, click the image to go to the Main Page.

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 8th, 2010 @ 08:50 PM Reply

I might actually write something for this.


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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 15th, 2010 @ 01:55 PM Reply

I'll bite.

Does it have to be a total alternative universe (e.g. Back To The Future or the countless films and programs on "what if the Nazis won" ) or can it just be an alternative life for the character (e.g. The Butterfly Effect)?


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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 15th, 2010 @ 04:25 PM Reply

At 7/15/10 01:55 PM, Lost-Chances wrote: I'll bite.

Does it have to be a total alternative universe (e.g. Back To The Future or the countless films and programs on "what if the Nazis won" ) or can it just be an alternative life for the character (e.g. The Butterfly Effect)?

From my understanding you're completely free on that.


- The Run -- Cargo || The Run -- Drop - The Run is an episodic sci-fi story, click the image to go to the Main Page.

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 15th, 2010 @ 04:37 PM Reply

also i found something contradicting in the rules
at first it sais : there are three options you can choose from traveling back in time, traveling forth in time, going to a diffrent timeline

but later it sais; you are completly free about anything time travelingish you want
so what's it gonna be
(cause i have some funky ideas in my mind )


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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 15th, 2010 @ 04:46 PM Reply

Guess I'll finally be bringing out the time traveling lawnmower!

sinfulwolf
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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 15th, 2010 @ 05:13 PM Reply

At 7/15/10 04:37 PM, munio wrote: also i found something contradicting in the rules
at first it sais : there are three options you can choose from traveling back in time, traveling forth in time, going to a diffrent timeline

but later it sais; you are completly free about anything time travelingish you want
so what's it gonna be
(cause i have some funky ideas in my mind )

That's not really a contradiction. Please tell me where else you can go besides forward, backward or to an alternate dimension in time.

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 16th, 2010 @ 06:12 AM Reply

well again i've got something funky going on in my mind (my mind is an horrible place for outsiders)
but if i just wanted to know if it was allright


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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 16th, 2010 @ 10:58 AM Reply

you might have to be specific then.

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 16th, 2010 @ 04:17 PM Reply

Dammit, it happened again.

Somehow I already cracked the 5000 word limit and then some. Oh well. That's the problem writing a continuing series.


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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 18th, 2010 @ 11:21 PM Reply

At 7/16/10 04:17 PM, BrianEtrius wrote: Dammit, it happened again.

Somehow I already cracked the 5000 word limit and then some. Oh well. That's the problem writing a continuing series.

It'd probably help to write something wholly original, eh?

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 19th, 2010 @ 12:24 AM Reply

At 7/18/10 11:21 PM, Squishy69 wrote: It'd probably help to write something wholly original, eh?

No trust me, this IS original.

But that's the problem, it's original. That means everything I've wanted the story to say and feel pushes way pass the word limit.

For example,

The doors finally open and the scene before Louis brings to his mind the term organized chaos. Green lights flash across a packed dance floor as loud techno music booms through the speakers. What seems like dancing is really a mass orgy of youth partying away the night. A bar is set up in a corner, selling cocktails that look a lot like Bloody Maries. A VIP suit lies to the right, but Louis notices two bouncers standing in front, dressed in black suits. Louis heads over first to the bar and orders up a stiff scotch. After downing it in two drinks, he heads over to the VIP lounge and is immediately stopped by the guards. "What do you want?" one of them asks.

"I have a business deal with Mr. Bram Lugosi."

"You're going to have to stand for a frisk Mr.....?"

"Cipher. Louis Cipher."

The guards pat Louis down and check his briefcase. Opening it reveals an ancient revolver with dusty rounds. Seeing nothing harmful, the guards let Louis in.

Velvet couches filed with beautiful women make up a good majority of the suite. A man lies in the center, seduced by the femme fatale. However, one very stiff looking woman sits off to the side, watching on. She gets up as Louis walks in and asks "Who are you?"

"I'm Mr. Cipher, and I have a proposition for Mr. Lugosi."

"Wait, Cipher? I've heard that name before. You're name wouldn't happen to be Louis, by any chance, would it?" Bram pushes the ladies off of him and gets up. "Girls, go outside and have a drink. Hilda, go with them and make sure none of them go anywhere." The girls and Hilda leave the room as Bram gestures Louis to sit. "I see you've made it down here Mr. Cipher. I'm highly impressed. This isn't the easiest place to get to but knowing where you're from, I'm not that surprised."

"Are we going to talk or are we going to do business?"

"Straight to business, ay Louis? Last time I talked with one of you guys, I got a deal. Immortality for a small fee. Not bad at all. What proposition do you have today?"

"This." Louis puts his suitcase on the couch and opens it. "Do you know what this is?"

"En! Is est mucro of malum! How did you get this?"

"Why don't you think we, of all people, have it? I'm sure you're aware of its history?"

"Who isn't? First released by Pandora, it was the stone Cain used to kill Abel! Then it was forged into the hilt of Marcus Junius Brutus the Younger's dagger when he stabbed Julius Caesar! It disappeared for a bit until it resurfaced in Napoleon's sword. Later, in the States, it was made into a gun that John Wilkes Booth used on Abe Lincoln, only to have it disappear and reappear as the new sidearm of none other than Adolf Hitler. After Hitler died it was supposed to be lost until apparently it was in Russia's care under Stalin, until it showed up as the gun used by the grassy knoll gunman of JFK. After that, no one really knows where it went."

"And you understand the significance of the numbered bullets?"

"Of course. The Sword of Evil can only commit 13 acts of wickedness, after that it is to disappear. The acts of evil give the wielder great power and always kills the intended target, but it also sucks the life force out of the owner who will always die painfully and as I understand it quite quickly. 7 shots have been used so far."

"Actually, eight shots."

"Eight? Who fired the eighth shot?"

"We can't tell you.......yet. It's still under wraps."

"So why are you here?"

"I want to sell this to you. For a small price, of course."

"And what might that price be?"

Louis takes the gun out of its case and checks its ancient clip. "We want you to close down your engineering research. Specifically the ones creating that interdimension seams."

"I can't do that. Even if I wanted to I don't have the authority to do it. We've come too far and invested too much into it. I'm afraid we can't make a deal Mr. Cipher."

"Really now? Then if you don't mind me doing this then?" Louis points the gun at the two bodyguards and shoots both of them. The loud music silences the gunshot and both men collapse, only to be swallowed and fed upon by the Suckers in the club.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO THAT? YOU JUST WASTED TWO ACTS OF-"

"Shut up." Louis points the gun at Bram and cocks back the trigger. "Now tell me, who oversees the engineering program?"

"It goes straight up to the higher family. I only know that. Don't kill me man, I'm just an under boss!"

"I know that. That's why I talked to you first. You stupid Sucker."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT YOU SON OF A BIT-" Louis fires a shot straight into Bram's chest. Bram starts to bleed out profusely and stares at Louis. "Why did you waste an evil act on a simple vampire...?"

"It's simple. I didn't. These aren't the numbered bullets. Nor is this the Sword of Evil. I was just wondering how stupid you Suckers are. Besides, you've been long past overdue. You no longer need to live. We already taken your soul, now we're taking you." Louis begins to walk off, but turns around near the door. "These bullets contain trances of hawthorn from Siberia and blessed water from the Rhine River. Safe to say, you're fucked."

Bram collapses on the floor. His body rots until it is only dust as it is blown away from the wind. Louis wipes the gun with a handkerchief and puts in back into his briefcase. He exits from the lounge and makes his way across the dance floor toward a locked door marked MANTAINENCE ONLY. Louis quickly picks the lock and lets himself into the supply room, where a large water container reads EMERGENCY WATER SUPPLY. Louis opens up the bottom section of the suitcase, revealing a large cross which he dumps into the container. He exits the supply room and heads back to the bar where he orders up a shot of stiff vodka. Instead of drinking it, he makes his way back toward the elevator. As Louis waits for the elevator he lights another cigarette. Once the elevator arrives Louis throws his drink at a passing dancer. "WHAT THE HELL?" she screams at him.

"Exactly." Louis responds as he flicks his cigarette at the alcohol doused woman. As Louis walks into the elevator, the woman catches fire, causing the sprinkler system to go off. The patrons of the club are rained down upon by holy water, reducing all of them to screams of pain and eventually dust.

----------

That section alone is 1/5 of the word limit, and I haven't even begun to show the main conflict. That's the problem with original content; you feel the need to put everything in.


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sinfulwolf
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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 19th, 2010 @ 12:43 AM Reply

Tell only part of the story then. For one of the earlier MWCs, I wrote up a quick story that served as an introduction to my full world. It hinted at the main conflict, and had only one of the major characters in it.

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 19th, 2010 @ 03:16 PM Reply

To clear something up Brian I meant that you could write up a completely fresh story that has no times with any other story you've written. Aside from that, you could condense the whole thing and show a part of it like the other guy said. Speaking of condense you should consider removing those spaces between the lines of dialogue; it may add a bit more strain to your eyes but it reduces post size, and so long as there are quotation marks readers will know when someone's talking.

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 19th, 2010 @ 05:00 PM Reply

At 7/19/10 03:16 PM, Squishy69 wrote: To clear something up Brian I meant that you could write up a completely fresh story that has no times with any other story you've written. Aside from that, you could condense the whole thing and show a part of it like the other guy said. Speaking of condense you should consider removing those spaces between the lines of dialogue; it may add a bit more strain to your eyes but it reduces post size, and so long as there are quotation marks readers will know when someone's talking.

Well, the spacing only really matters when you're just over the limit (ie. 5050).

In terms of what you could do, Brian, I think it would benefit you to leave out that part that you posted. Although it is interesting and it would flatter a longer piece, because you're working with a word limit, I suggest starting at the beginning or even the middle of the main plot and get across what I assume is the setup by inferring it in a shorter length of text during the rest of the story. You don't have to, but that's my recommendation.


[quote]

whoa art what

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 19th, 2010 @ 05:03 PM Reply

At 7/19/10 12:24 AM, BrianEtrius wrote: That section alone is 1/5 of the word limit, and I haven't even begun to show the main conflict. That's the problem with original content; you feel the need to put everything in.

Write it again, half as long. (cookies for reference catch)

Seriously. Take your story, but do it in half the number of words. You'll be surprised at what you accomplish.

Also, remember Strunk and White's rule #13.


Tis better to sit in silence and be presumed a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 22nd, 2010 @ 07:52 PM Reply

I'm stepping out of the competition.

For a few months, I've been in a severe writer's block for a large array of reasons. I've written what could be a starter but with no way to push my intended idea into the story. So I've given up with it.

Good luck to everyone else.


This too will pass.
Memento mori

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 23rd, 2010 @ 10:37 AM Reply

At 7/22/10 07:52 PM, Lost-Chances wrote: I'm stepping out of the competition.

For a few months, I've been in a severe writer's block for a large array of reasons. I've written what could be a starter but with no way to push my intended idea into the story. So I've given up with it.

Good luck to everyone else.

Sucks to hear that. Writer's Block is a condition difficult to treat, much less cure. My suggestion is always keep a pen (or pencil) and paper near you. When you get an idea write it down no matter how silly it looks or reads. Later on, you can build from that snippet. I'm sure your story would've been a joy to read.

Good luck with your writing.

~An English Major with chronic Writer's Block


"The palindrome for Bolton is Notlob."--John Cleese, MPFC

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 26th, 2010 @ 01:59 PM Reply

I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas day. How long will the judging take for the contest?


"The palindrome for Bolton is Notlob."--John Cleese, MPFC

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 26th, 2010 @ 11:51 PM Reply

At 7/26/10 01:59 PM, notlob88 wrote: I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas day. How long will the judging take for the contest?

Chill, man. The deadline hasn't even passed yet (August 1). At that point, it could take a week, maybe even a month, but probably nothing excessive.


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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 27th, 2010 @ 12:06 AM Reply

At 7/26/10 01:59 PM, notlob88 wrote: I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas day. How long will the judging take for the contest?

Well, the judging for the June contest is taking about a month, so I expect a similar result for the July one, but it depends on how quickly the judges can finish.


[quote]

whoa art what

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 27th, 2010 @ 01:13 PM Reply

At 7/26/10 11:51 PM, Rabid-Animals wrote:
At 7/26/10 01:59 PM, notlob88 wrote: I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas day. How long will the judging take for the contest?
Chill, man. The deadline hasn't even passed yet (August 1). At that point, it could take a week, maybe even a month, but probably nothing excessive.

I am trying to be zen about it, honestly. I haven't been in a writing contest since senior year of high school. I just like to think ahead sometimes. Thank you for your reply.


"The palindrome for Bolton is Notlob."--John Cleese, MPFC

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 30th, 2010 @ 04:20 PM Reply

Just to clarify - the contest ends at 5am EST, on the morning of Sunday August 1st (for us Americans)?

I really need to learn these confounded time zones...


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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 31st, 2010 @ 04:29 PM Reply

At 7/31/10 03:45 PM, Grubby wrote: So as this month's contest ends, when is last month's results announced?

Whenever the judges get around to it.

As for this contest, my weekend is rather busy, but I'll be able to get a good look at everything next week.

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Jul. 31st, 2010 @ 08:36 PM Reply

At 7/31/10 03:45 PM, Grubby wrote: So as this month's contest ends, when is last month's results announced?

I've finished my scoring, but I'm the first to get my scores in, so I'm not sure. I can't imagine it would be that much longer.

Onward to the July scoring.


[quote]

whoa art what

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Aug. 1st, 2010 @ 04:08 AM Reply

Just submitted my story!

Now I can finally sit back and read the rest of the submissions :D

Tomorrow, of course - it's 4am here and I'm a bit bushed.


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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Aug. 1st, 2010 @ 09:56 AM Reply

I've kept up with most of the stories. I'll read the last one before I take my sister to work. I've enjoyed reading the other submissions this past month.


"The palindrome for Bolton is Notlob."--John Cleese, MPFC

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Response to Mwc10 - July. Discussion Aug. 1st, 2010 @ 04:11 PM Reply

At 8/1/10 04:08 AM, RapeMuffin wrote: Just submitted my story!

Now I can finally sit back and read the rest of the submissions :D

Tomorrow, of course - it's 4am here and I'm a bit bushed.

Yeah - I was glad to see that people have not broken the rules, despite my lack of presence earlier on. Still, the contest has now been wrapped up and the judging can begin. I'm planning on taking a printout or two down to London with me on Friday, so I should be able to judge them along the way.


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