Interesting fact about highschool.

[FUNKbrs]

Everyone who is popular in highschool is a failure afterwards.

EVERYONE.

You see, being popular in highschool makes you an ego inflated cock knocker as an adult, something no real man or woman will put up with for a second. All that childish ass bullshit your friends are laughing about now will pretty much get you iced out of any adult conversation.

Binge drinking, whoring, smoking dope, being attractive, pulling pranks, all these things are basically the gateway to growing to be either a stripper, or a day laborer. Either way be prepared to be broke and disappointed with your epic failure of a life.

Everyone who was more popular that me in highschool is now either living in a miserable lie of a marriage, normally with a physically and mentally abusive spouse and a child that couldn't get 2 out of 3 on the "What is your name?" portion of an IQ test. All the pretty people are all old and ugly now, all the funny kids have drank away their last braincell and now sit miserably in a trailer somewhere drinking shit domestic beer and jerking off to memories of girls they didn't fuck 10 years ago.

Do yourself a favor. Wait until your about 25 to even CONSIDER a long term relationship, keep your fucking grades up, and develop an artistic skill. Whatever the fuck you do, DO NOT HAVE KIDS BEFORE AGE 25. Basically, having a child is the kiss of death. Parents are pretty much non entities. If you have a child and custody, you have no free time to have fun, EVER. If you have a child and no custody, welcome to the world of slaving away every working hour to pay towards child support. Even the best relationships end up "just friends who occasionally fuck" within the first 5 years.

Also, never, EVER, EVVVEEEERRRR pitch a fit about ANYTHING. Throwing tantrums is acceptable for a 13 year old, but a grown ass man should always have his emotions in line. You are NOT the hero in the story of your life, you are the villain, and as such you better watch your ass before some idiot with nothing to prove fucks you off just for shits and giggles.

There are so many people who come up to me everyday asking how I stay so happy, with so much fucked up shit happening around me, people dying, health problems, being broke all the time, and the truth is because I learned to be a loner in highschool, and once I learned to be happy when I was alone, nothing other people did could make me unhappy anymore. Now even the tragedies in my life are funny in a cruel way, and all my good fortunes are happy surprises.

Also, read books on classical philosophy, both of the Taoist and Greek traditions. You will learn things from Lao Tse and Socrates that it would take you 20 years to figure out over the course of your own life. They're short ass books, but well worth the time when dealing with other people later on.

[TylerDurden121]

The "ugly" people are the lucky ones.

[Light]

I fail to find any flaws with this logic. Makes sense so far...

[RyderOmega]

At 6/20/10 07:24 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: Everyone who is popular in highschool is a failure afterwards.

That, I can agree on. And it's usually the others that end up being some what successful.

[Bit]

I'm surprised, Funk. You just made a lot of Newgrounders feel good about themselves.

[Zombified]

Well, that sure boosted my spirits a bit. I appreciate that, even though it wasn't directed towards me.

[iateamexican]

Didn't really read that, but it seemed an important question to ask at what age you Americans leave highschool?
In good ol' Blighty you go to highschool around 11 and leave around 16, but it seems to be a lot later for you guys.

[MemoryCard]

Don't bring down other peoples childhoods because you were a loser in school. People can have lives instead of being cynical dicks like you.

[Rabid-Animals]

At 6/20/10 07:24 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: Do yourself a favor. Wait until your about 25 to even CONSIDER a long term relationship, keep your fucking grades up, and develop an artistic skill. Whatever the fuck you do, DO NOT HAVE KIDS BEFORE AGE 25.

For real, man. I'm probably just going to be finishing up Grad School at 25, with a PhD and fancy whatnot. No time to be bogged down with women. At that point, life's all about partying down with your school debt and miscellaneous people that interest you for a couple hours.

[chiefindomer]

At 6/20/10 07:29 PM, iateamexican wrote: Didn't really read that, but it seemed an important question to ask at what age you Americans leave highschool?

18 is the normal age we graduate at.

[Cootie]

At 6/20/10 07:24 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: Everyone who is popular in highschool is a failure afterwards.

EVERYONE.

My parents were popular in high school. They both now make $100,000 each. Not a huge sum, but they can pay the bills.

People can both be popular and smart and nice. Your logic is true in some cases and not in others. People that are popular sometimes have superior social skills. Which is important in many fields of work.

People who hate the popular kids for being popular is just as ignorant as people hating the nerds.

People who are popular are sometimes successful and people who were outcast sometimes end up as failures. I'm really not buying this.

[WaterShake]

Thats a bit of a broad conclusion to make. One of my step mums friends was incredibly good looking, funny and popular is now one of the most successful people I know. He is a news anchor for a major US news corporation.
I'm pretty popular at my school, not ugly and im quite talkative. That doesn't mean im going to be a failure. I have all the skills that I require to be able to learn those I will need in my professional life. I'm polite, respectful and mature when talking with adults; I just enjoy having a laugh with my mates.

[djmrules]

I find complete bullshit in the words you just said. I know plenty of popular people that have gone on to college and got really nice jobs. I have a friend that everyone knows and he just got accepted to Med school. That's more successful than I'll probably be.

That being said I'm not insanely popular but I know people and I partied with people just like popular kids.
I think you are just pissed off that you aren't/weren't popular and just realized that it pissed you off.

I agree with the no long term relationships before 25 for the most part but once again I know people that have made it work. Same with the don't have kids thing, although I would never want to have kids before I'm at least 30 but shit happens you know. I can almost guarantee most people who have kids before 20 didn't want it but it just happened. I know that's no excuse but like I said shit happens.

I'm going to come back to this thread in 10 years and see if I'm a stripper or live in a trailer park. I'm willing to bet not. It's more so based on the person to turn out than the fact that they were popular in high school.

[FUNKbrs]

At 6/20/10 07:29 PM, MemoryCard wrote: Don't bring down other peoples childhoods because you were a loser in school. People can have lives instead of being cynical dicks like you.

That's the thing I think you can't quite grasp.

As cynical of a dick as I am, I'm pretty much the most all around well liked person I know.

I'm real.

I admit the way life really is, and I stare it down without caring whether or not I win or lose.

I expect the worst, and because of that I stand strong when everyone else is still clinging to imaginary hope. I choose my battles wisely, and I never struggle in a hopeless situation.

I don't fight. I just win. I win before the things that stand in my way have a chance to realize that I am about to conquer them. I never spend more time thinking about what I am about to do than it takes to actually do it.

Most importantly, though, I've been hurt so many times I no longer care whether I win or lose, and because I'm willing to get hurt, I get opportunities noone else has the balls to take advantage of. I enjoy my failures more than my successes, to the extent I barely even realize when I am successful anymore. I am at my happiest when I am at my emptiest, and because of that the world can never take the smirk of hate from my face.

[naojason]

I was popular in school, and I'm fucking better than you still.

[Scarface]

What if I'm popular, but not "with the popular crowd"? What if I'm popular in the sense that I try to be friends with everyone. I am the class clown, basically. I have a specific group of friends (also not popular) that I hang out with outside of school, but I try to by nice and friendly to everyone.

Will I be a failure?

[RubberTrucky]

Well the thing is, as far as real high schools are involved, there is no preppy crowd, no group of cool people ignoring everyone consisting of football players and cheerleaders. that's what awful teen schoolcomedies are made off. But where I came from, everyone was pretty much the same.

[FUNKbrs]

At 6/20/10 07:37 PM, djmrules wrote: I find complete bullshit in the words you just said. I know plenty of popular people that have gone on to college and got really nice jobs. I have a friend that everyone knows and he just got accepted to Med school. That's more successful than I'll probably be.

I love it how you think that making a lot of money will make you happy, or that working really hard for people who are going to die anyway will make you happy.

Very few people find that the stresses of wealth and a demanding job make them happy. I believe the saying in the patois of the streets is "Mo' money, mo' problems." Success really isn't measured in dollars, number of children, or any other quantifiable way.

Didn't you know doctors and lawyers have the highest suicide rates? It's because they've succeeded at everything they've ever tried AND ARE STILL NOT HAPPY.

Only laughter in the face of failure can provide joy in a world where monetary and social success are completely out of the hands of the individual.

[WaterShake]

At 6/20/10 07:38 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:

At 6/20/10 07:29 PM, MemoryCard wrote: Don't bring down other peoples childhoods because you were a loser in school. People can have lives instead of being cynical dicks like you.

That's the thing I think you can't quite grasp.

As cynical of a dick as I am, I'm pretty much the most all around well liked person I know.

I'm real.

I admit the way life really is, and I stare it down without caring whether or not I win or lose.

I expect the worst, and because of that I stand strong when everyone else is still clinging to imaginary hope. I choose my battles wisely, and I never struggle in a hopeless situation.

I don't fight. I just win. I win before the things that stand in my way have a chance to realize that I am about to conquer them. I never spend more time thinking about what I am about to do than it takes to actually do it.

Most importantly, though, I've been hurt so many times I no longer care whether I win or lose, and because I'm willing to get hurt, I get opportunities noone else has the balls to take advantage of. I enjoy my failures more than my successes, to the extent I barely even realize when I am successful anymore. I am at my happiest when I am at my emptiest, and because of that the world can never take the smirk of hate from my face.

Yes..you do seem very real.

But it seems in a sense you fail. You posses some inate ability that allows you to win at anything "I don't fight. I just win.", but somewhat tragically, you enjoy your failures more than your loses. Thus leasing to the conclusion that you don't win as your not really getting what you want. Hmm quite a paradox we have here.

Also, i'm just curious, how much more air do you reckon we could inflate your ego with before it explodes? I wouldn't want you getting hurt. Although you are apparently willing to get hurt, so myabe its for the best...

[MemoryCard]

At 6/20/10 07:38 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: Most importantly, though, I've been hurt so many times I no longer care whether I win or lose,

Keep telling yourself that.

it doesn't hurt! I don't care! bullshit.

[Warrickneff]

At 6/20/10 07:24 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: Everyone who is popular in highschool is a failure afterwards.
EVERYONE.

Eeh......If you had said "95%" I would have been like 'fuck yeah funk knows his shit', but instead I find myself disagreeing with you. I know there's a lot of shitty people in high school who lose control of their lives once they turn 20, but there's a whole bunch that manage to keep it together.

You see, being popular in highschool makes you an ego inflated cock knocker as an adult, something no real man or woman will put up with for a second. All that childish ass bullshit your friends are laughing about now will pretty much get you iced out of any adult conversation.

You don't need to have a giant ego to have fun or do all that shit in high school. All the jokey stuff people do can be toned down in real life situations like job interviews and such.

Binge drinking, whoring, smoking dope, being attractive, pulling pranks, all these things are basically the gateway to growing to be either a stripper, or a day laborer. Either way be prepared to be broke and disappointed with your epic failure of a life.

Have you no faith that someone can be attractive, binge drink, smoke a little dope, pull pranks and live life in high school without ruining the rest of their lives? What's wrong with being a well-balanced individual who can achieve while still being able to relax and fit in with their friends?

What's wrong with being a day laborer too? Stripper ain't exactly cool but nothing wrong with honest work. It's how 80% of middle america makes their living so you can't exactly knock that kind of stuff.

Do yourself a favor. Wait until your about 25 to even CONSIDER a long term relationship, keep your fucking grades up, and develop an artistic skill.

Let me post this as a warning to everyone else who may read this topic: Do not wait until you're 25 to have a long term relationship. By the time you get to 25 you're gonna know fuck all about how to deal with someone long term and will end up alone. Skills are are wicked though - I really recommend music.

I know that I haven't been around since the dinosaurs but i know a ton of people who were popular in high school and are currently leading successful lives.
All I can really imagine is that your high school, or the one you considered before writing this, had a radically different social organization. The 'American Pie high school jock asshole dumbass' didn't really exist where I came from.

[Sleipner12]

well thats good for me because
i dont drink or smoke.
im 16 and a virgin.
im single.
im not really "popular" by "normal" standards but i have alot of good friends who i can trust.
i've been told im smart.
i spend some of my time reading books.
im not exactly the most attractive person. probably just average.
and im not spoiled like the rest of these ignorant retards in my school.

[Cyprus]

lol, I find this post funny. Although a lot of popular kids do end up doing nothing with their lives, just as many dorks do the same. I know plenty of geeks that are still... geeks. Working at McDonalds for the last 10 years. My friends and I were the popular crowd I guess you could say, and we are all still very close. I served in the Army and now I am going through medical school, another friend is a plumber, another is a firefighter, the other is in college and was in the army with me, one is finishing his teaching license, and one works at the Toledo University. Not one failure. It works both ways man. You just are pointing out the popular kids because they probably picked on you or something.

[yurgenburgen]

South Park had a good episode where the boys found a list of who the girls had a crush on. So some of them became instantly popular and therefore they didn't feel as though they needed to try, while the less popular kids went on to do great things.

[Luke]

I agree with everything you say pretty much here.
Master Creator for Funk pl0x.

[FUNKbrs]

At 6/20/10 07:45 PM, WaterShake wrote:

At 6/20/10 07:38 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:

But it seems in a sense you fail. You posses some inate ability that allows you to win at anything "I don't fight. I just win.", but somewhat tragically, you enjoy your failures more than your loses. Thus leasing to the conclusion that you don't win as your not really getting what you want. Hmm quite a paradox we have here.

Normally I try things with every intent of failing miserably only to find myself being more successful than my competitors. It's about enjoying the process, not the result, but once you really take care of details, all of a sudden failure drifts off the horizon of possibility.

Also, i'm just curious, how much more air do you reckon we could inflate your ego with before it explodes? I wouldn't want you getting hurt. Although you are apparently willing to get hurt, so myabe its for the best...

I have a fairly large head, and I think you'd be amazed at the PSI I can get inside of it.

[Obvious-M]

If you're so broke and have bad shit happening around you all the time what makes you so much better? Reading Socrates?

[LinkSilvermane]

Wasn't popular in High-school, am nowhere near having the incredible University experience I was hoping for afterwards.

Your theory is invalid.

[Lorkas]

Yeah, but that doesn't mean that if you're a loser with no self confidence at highschool that you'll become succesful afterwards. Some people just aren't meant for something big. They're just meant to be stuck in a cubicle for 50 years with no reason to live other than the next episode of Lost.

[FUNKbrs]

At 6/20/10 08:03 PM, Obvious-M wrote: If you're so broke and have bad shit happening around you all the time what makes you so much better? Reading Socrates?

It's my ability to have fun inspite of the bad things going on around me.

Take illegal immigrants, for example. They come to this country and by the standards of rich white honkies everywhere, they grub around in the dirt for slave wages doing jobs noone even wants to do, living packed like sardines in urban slums. They live every moment in the blink of an eye El Migre will come and ship them all back to Tijuana and take everything they've earned away.

And yet, IN THE FACE OF ALL THIS, mexicans are some of the happiest fun loving people you can ever hang out with. Give'em a grill full of dollar hot dogs, a case of Tecate, and a stereo loud enough to rattle the picture of his wrinkly grandma off some redneck's wall, and they're happy as clams. They live in the moment, instead of trying to live up to someone else's measure of success. Sure, they barely get by, but what's the point of slaving your whole life away making a fortune only to hand it off to someone who didn't earn it after you die?

Your wife will leave you, either in a divorce or in death. You don't get to choose when she goes. She is not the path to happiness. Your money will leave you, either after you are dead, get fired, or get sick and spend every dime on medical care. Money is not the path to happiness. Your children can come out retarded, kill themselves, or be killed by the world around them. Children are no the path to happiness.

The path to happiness is to learn to laugh at your own failures, to enjoy the process more than the result, and above all, to only concern yourself with the things that you are capable of manipulating, and leaving all those things out of your power out of your mind. Your prayers to the God of Worry will go unanswered; the God of Hate laughs at your failings, but you can laugh with Him.