just tell me if this is retarded

[Zombie-Eskimo]

My name is Neville Latnem...In a nutshell I am just like every other man. I hope, I dream, and I take pride in my work. Though my work is much different, it affects daily life much more than most other people's jobs. I find solutions, I cure disease, I invent, I build, I can do almost anything I put my mind to. But there is a limit to what I can do because of my lack in recourse. As human we naturally go look for more material to mold. We have dug in the earth's crust, soared beyond its skies, plunged into its oceans but that all has proven to not be enough.
My alternate problem, those who live in the world around me. Discovery over these past years has put science to a point it has never been to. But the world around me is apparently too fragile for what I wish to create. They are all simply afraid.....
So what do you suppose I do? I am in need of fresh soil to build upon and surely in need of the recourses that are used to build. I have a solution but I must say I have to give credit to those who previously rejected me. They told me some thoughts are just better off staying in your mind. That was where it started, the only unclaimed space that still exists, the human mind....a place where dreams flourish and recourse is at no end. I have turned what use to be my mind into a world of endless invention where no one will stand in my way. For I am not god here, there is no god in this world.
I must be careful though, the only thing more dangerous than the abstract structure of the human mind is the human mind in the manipulative grasp of another man's imagination.

[fli]

Not retarded...

Is this going to be part of something bigger? It seems like it was building up to something, although a lot of it seemed like pointless rambling-- but it's the character's voice, and a great way to tell us that this Neville guy is quite a chatty person.

[RNNR]

It hints at something interesting, but there are some snags in there an editing pass (or two) should fix.

A few suggestions:

At 6/10/10 03:21 AM, Zombie-Eskimo wrote: My name is Neville Latnem...In a nutshell I am just like every other man. I hope, I dream, and I take pride in my work. Though my work is much different, it affects daily life much more than most other people's jobs.

Last line could be phrased more... elegantly. It stumbles over its own words, 'much more than most other' doesn't flow well.

I find solutions, I cure disease, I invent, I build, I can do almost anything I put my mind to.

'I find solutions' is kinda the odd one out here. It summarizes all that follows, but 'I can do... etc' does the same thing.

But there is a limit to what I can do because of my lack in recourse.

Recourse? ... Resource?

As human we naturally go look for more material to mold. We have dug in the earth's crust, soared beyond its skies, plunged into its oceans but that all has proven to not be enough.

Resource, gotcha.

My alternate problem, those who live in the world around me.

Colon instead of a comma.

Discovery over these past years has put science to a point it has never been to.

Suggestion:
"Recent discoveries have pushed science to new heights."

But the world around me is apparently too fragile for what I wish to create. They are all simply afraid.....
So what do you suppose I do? I am in need of fresh soil to build upon and surely in need of the recourses that are used to build.

Try to avoid the same words in a short span, it flows much more err... flowingly.

I have a solution but I must say I have to give credit to those who previously rejected me. They told me some thoughts are just better off staying in your mind. That was where it started, the only unclaimed space that still exists, the human mind ...

Is that the last unclaimed space in this world? Must be a highly advanced one.

a place where dreams flourish and recourse is at no end. I have turned what use to be my mind into a world of endless invention where no one will stand in my way. For I am not god here, there is no god in this world.
I must be careful though, the only thing more dangerous than the abstract structure of the human mind is the human mind in the manipulative grasp of another man's imagination.

This needs some spit and polish.

It reads like a videolog of somesort. The last entry to a diary of a scientist who has fallen far from grace, now reclaiming his pride and all that jazz.

Is that the idea?

[Letiger]

It dosen't seem retarted. Atleast, not at the first and second glances I've given it. I'm not one to pick apart things either because, frankly, I'm not good at that. The only thing I would have to give this, is that it gives us so much information, withought actually telling us anything at all.

It says so much, but yet so little. I don't know if that's just me and my comprehension level, or if that's the way you put it. Kind of like a preview of things.

[gumOnShoe]

It is hard to read, but I also don't know where you really want to go with this in the end, so... I'm not set one way or another on whether or not its full of bad ideas.

Could be interesting. But it isn't complete and it needs heavy revision.

[Deathcon7]

Sounds very much like Christopher Nolan's upcoming film, Inception. The idea itself, manipulation the dream state of a person, is more suitable as a form of entertainment, or manipulation of a person's mind. Since it is all immaterial, there would be no benefit to the sciences. The rules that apply in the real world are so maleable in a dream, that testing a theory, while valid in this dream world, is not guaranteed to work.

As it stands, what you have so far doesn't provide enough information on what the character intends to do in the dream world, but the set-up is pointing to something scientific.

[Zombie-Eskimo]

This is random writing for something ive been working on for a few years.
and its not in his dreams but his mind, he takes all the power our mind uses to operate to create a whole world where he can basically do what ever he wants to do.
when i saw the preview for that movie a was a bit shaken up because i worked this so hard...but im trying to get a flash game about it soon before anything else happens.
anyways there are major differences between the two so im not that worried.

[gouldars]

dude that would be awsome dont trust guys said "you can not do this its impossible" you can do it if you put all you ve got on it one day you gonna be the one who create great thing for the people