Sarah Palin hires a winkologist!

[wordwaymike]

I was intrigued by the story of Palin's greased lightning rise from political obscurity, to the top rung of American politics during the run up to the last presidential election.

"From out of nowhere" is more often than not an ill suited, exaggerated PR description of some politician's desire to be percieved as being represenitive of John Q. Public.

Spinmeisters boldly, and falsley assert that their candidate possesses a leadership style, message, and candor that has resonated with the public to such a degree that the election of said person is a Manifest Destiny kind of thing.

But no one, until Sarah Palin had a wink in their political bag of tricks that could slay the doubts of millions of people. It truly was "The wink seen round the world" when she unleashed it upon an unsuspecting public during her acceptance speech at the GOP convention, after John McCain nominated her to be his V.P.

Then, rumours of a wink specialist being added to Sarah's 2012 campaign entourage after McCain and her loss to Obama began to surface. Some mystery woman that referred to herself as a Winkologist. I had to learn more. I knew that this story had some long legs. Then I discovered that this mystery woman winkologist did too.

Wink your way to the top!

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Sarah is listening to the Siren song of power. It liltingly whispers;

Sarah! You could be president! The people that vote really are gullible enough to believe that you can fix what's wrong. By the time they figure out that you can't even fix a Moose Burger without burning it, it will be too late! Your term as president will be up and you will be added to the Pantheon of ex-presidents.

Not to mention make a fortune selling access to those that have political power and influence in Washington.

She's humming along and tapping her toes to the rising beat of her heart. She thinks it's a catchy tune. As always, the thought of being the most powerful person on the planet have made her moist.

She has been working on her wink for months now. Knowing that this was the key to victory. This knowledge based on all of the things in life that she had wanted that her magical wink had obtained for her. Starting with that passing grade in high school from the geography teacher. He thought that her wink meant that he'd have a night of sex with her for not flunking her.

It was her first big foray into implying something without actually saying it. It also taught her the subset principle of plausible deniability. A politicians best friend.

From that point on Sarah was winking her way into higher and higher positions of public service. Finally culminating with "The wink seen 'round the world" during the Republican National Convention. Where she winked her way into the hearts of every right wing frothy fringer jn America during her acceptance speech, after McCain nominated her to be his V.P.

Knowing that she had to be at the top of her wink game to win the presidency, Sarah has been setting aside two hours a day as "wink time" to hone her wink skill sets. So that by 2011, when the campaign for the next presidential election heats up, she'll have a world class wink, capable of convincingly implying, without saying, what ever the person that she is winking at wants it to mean.

She has even hired a personal wink specialist, Candy Wanda Trixie. But her friends, associates, acquaintances, and late night assignations just call her; "Sweet Thang"

I interviewed Ms. Trixie several days ago. She was unabashedly bold in her assertion that Palin was a natural born winker.

Ms Trixie opened with: "What Sarah has already accomplished with her untrained wink is nothing short of phenomenal. There wasn't a man at that convention that wouldn't have handed over every dollar, and maxed out every credit card in his wallet just for a few minutes alone with that gal. I'm not easily impressed, but when I saw the immediate reaction of every man that was there to her world-wide wink, I said to myself; That there little woman is a comer for sure!"

She stops right here to light a cigarette, and take a deep drag. Then, she leans back in her chair with her eyes closed until she slowly exhales the smoke. Her right hand was toying with the button of her blouse. She opens her eyes in time to see me look up from her blouse. I blush. She smiles. Then Ms Trixie continues expounding on the subject of winkology.

"With that one wink she not only conveyed to every man that saw it, that she knew what they wanted, and needed from her. She also convincingly conveyed that she was the woman that could satisfy thoses needs." Said Trixie.

While she was saying this she was slowly leaning closer and closer to where I was sitting. While at the same time slowly lowering her gaze to what I initially thought was the note pad in my lap. Then, she softly said as she quickly looked up from my notepad; "There are very few women that can meet the many, complex needs of so many different men. Don't you agree?"

Then added; "And please call me Candy from now on. Ms.Trixie sounds so strait-laced, buttoned down, and formal. I would much rather have a very friendly, very informal, very discreet, speed-dial kind of quid pro quo, keep it on the down low, "tell me where it hurts, and I'll kiss it and make it better" sort of an arrangment. Wouldn't you?"

I was lost in thought for a few moments as I pondered the image laden implications of her last statment. Shaking those off, I steered the conversation back to Palin's putting such high hopes on a physical gesture. Asking Trix... Err... I mean, Candy if a wink could win Palin the presidency?

CONTINUED IN PART TWO OF; Sarah Palin hires a winkologist!