Pb: Munio V Trevorw V Monkeyv

[megakill]

This poetry battle will be between Munio, TrevorW and MonkeyV

The topic for this battle is "Impossible tasks"
The task could be as absurd as flapping your arms and trying to fly, or as philosophical as men trying to exist with eternal peace and tranquillity (which I personally think is impossible), so make sure you have a good think when deciding what to structure your work around!

Participants have 24 hours to submit their work, and then there will be two days to vote. I ask that no-one posts their thoughts or vote until I say voting has begun.

Good luck guys!

[munio]

When i saw the list of competiors i knew it would be an almost impossible task to win it, which quickly turned into an opportunity
so enjoy my limmerick

A humble young poet named ken
Challenged the gods of the pen
He know couldn't be beat
And he decided to cheat
but got caught by an ape when he ran

[MonkeyV]

Very entertaining, munio. ;) you need to have more confidence in yourself.

To Live Perfection

The world's wisest man
is dying today,
there on his bed,
just wasting away.

But for all of his wisdom,
he has no joy.
He reflects on his regrets,
thinking back to when he was a boy.

Oh how he remembers
sitting around with his friends,
listening to their stories
from beginning to end.

He wanted badly to speak,
but he wanted to do it right.
This obsession with perfection
kept his lips sealed tight.

To keep from saying something wrong,
just don't say anything, at all,
because it's smarter to stay grounded
than to try to fly, and fall.

When you stop an object's motion,
time quickly whizzes by.
Childhood seemed to pass
in just the blink of an eye.

The boy was now a man,
and he needed to make a life,
but he had no career to speak of,
and no family, or wife.

Decisions had to be made,
but he watched those of others, first;
took ideas from the best
and learned lessons from the worst.

No way would he take a risk,
when so easily, he could fail.
What a waste it would have been
to collapse this far in the trail.

Just as it had before,
time passed by, so quick.
Now finally here he is,
an old man, frail and sick.

While lying on his death bed,
his eyes suddenly open wide.
He says to himself, "I finally know!"
and he has contentedness inside.

Finally, he's at the end,
now the wisest man on Earth.
He knows how to live perfection,
this man who's been a failure from birth.

He now understands the irony
that his life had always been.
He sadly smiles, and closes his eyes,
and never opens them again.

It takes a conversation
to think of the perfect thing to say.
It takes 24 hours
to create the perfect day.

Unfortunately for us all,
experience comes from strife,
and it takes an entire lifetime
to know how to live a perfect life.

[TrevorW]

For me this is impossible. Deal with it ;)

Eight Ball, Corner Pocket

I spoke in a slow,
(as gin tumbled
down the rocks);
pool balls hit
and a cigarette lit,
"Here we go, Joe."
And the 8 ball...
hit the corner pocket.

The voting may now start as everyone has given their poems.

[MonkeyV]

I feel like a guy on stilts showing up at a dwarf convention o_o

Akward~~~

Good luck to all of us :)

[TrevorW]

At 5/31/10 02:14 PM, MonkeyV wrote: I feel like a guy on stilts showing up at a dwarf convention o_o

Akward~~~

Good luck to all of us :)

So says the man with the long poem. My only real problem with your poem is that it is so long. I personally had trouble finishing.

I thought Munio's was quick and clever :P

[MonkeyV]

At 5/31/10 02:19 PM, TrevorW wrote:

At 5/31/10 02:14 PM, MonkeyV wrote: I feel like a guy on stilts showing up at a dwarf convention o_o

Akward~~~

Good luck to all of us :)

So says the man with the long poem. My only real problem with your poem is that it is so long. I personally had trouble finishing.

I thought Munio's was quick and clever :P

>.> I actually resisted urges to shorten it. I feel I needed the length to get both the story and the message across.

[TrevorW]

At 5/31/10 02:26 PM, MonkeyV wrote:

At 5/31/10 02:19 PM, TrevorW wrote:

At 5/31/10 02:14 PM, MonkeyV wrote: I feel like a guy on stilts showing up at a dwarf convention o_o

Akward~~~

Good luck to all of us :)

So says the man with the long poem. My only real problem with your poem is that it is so long. I personally had trouble finishing.

I thought Munio's was quick and clever :P

>.> I actually resisted urges to shorten it. I feel I needed the length to get both the story and the message across.

Perhaps I am just being lazy. All I know is that my eyes refuse to read long things on the internet. xD

[munio]

At 5/31/10 02:14 PM, MonkeyV wrote: I feel like a guy on stilts showing up at a dwarf convention o_o

Akward~~~

Good luck to all of us :)

nah men, i was planning on doing something very philosophical but i couldn't seem to find the words
so i went for the limerick which worked out better then i thought I could even work in the two of you;)

TrevorW: i can really understand the mood of your poem, like the symbolism of the 8-ball, i did expect something els of you but i like it anyway

monkeyV: i felt like i've read the story before somewhere, not saying you plagiarised or something just saying it feels familair. Besides that epic poem, needs a few tweaks to the rythm here and there and you could have reconsiderd some word for a better connotation but still it's a pretty awesome poem

just to be clear my name is not ken

[TrevorW]

At 5/31/10 02:34 PM, munio wrote:

TrevorW: i can really understand the mood of your poem, like the symbolism of the 8-ball, i did expect something els of you but i like it anyway

I was in an odd mood when I wrote it. My tone was so much different than normal...and this poem's meter is off but I still like it, don't know why.

[megakill]

Seeing as all the participants have submitted their poem, voting may now begin.

In two days time, voting will cease and the winner will be announced.

Good luck!

[MiSFiTT]

At 5/31/10 02:03 PM, MonkeyV wrote: Very entertaining, munio. ;) you need to have more confidence in yourself.

To Live Perfection

The world's wisest man
is dying today,
there on his bed,
just wasting away.

But for all of his wisdom,
he has no joy.
He reflects on his regrets,
thinking back to when he was a boy.

Oh how he remembers
sitting around with his friends,
listening to their stories
from beginning to end.

He wanted badly to speak,
but he wanted to do it right.
This obsession with perfection
kept his lips sealed tight.

To keep from saying something wrong,
just don't say anything, at all,
because it's smarter to stay grounded
than to try to fly, and fall.

When you stop an object's motion,
time quickly whizzes by.
Childhood seemed to pass
in just the blink of an eye.

The boy was now a man,
and he needed to make a life,
but he had no career to speak of,
and no family, or wife.

Decisions had to be made,
but he watched those of others, first;
took ideas from the best
and learned lessons from the worst.

No way would he take a risk,
when so easily, he could fail.
What a waste it would have been
to collapse this far in the trail.

Just as it had before,
time passed by, so quick.
Now finally here he is,
an old man, frail and sick.

While lying on his death bed,
his eyes suddenly open wide.
He says to himself, "I finally know!"
and he has contentedness inside.

Finally, he's at the end,
now the wisest man on Earth.
He knows how to live perfection,
this man who's been a failure from birth.

He now understands the irony
that his life had always been.
He sadly smiles, and closes his eyes,
and never opens them again.

It takes a conversation
to think of the perfect thing to say.
It takes 24 hours
to create the perfect day.

Unfortunately for us all,
experience comes from strife,
and it takes an entire lifetime
to know how to live a perfect life.

I think you got a bit caught up in what you wanted to present as your theme. The last three stanzas are unnecessary; there is no reason to explain to the reader how your poem is ironic :P

This was my favorite still though because the rhyme scheme lightened the poem and made it a quicker read while still focusing on an interesting topic. Nothing profound - but still a very enjoyable and lyric poem.

As a reader I knew from the third stanza where you were going to and was nodding my head along with you the whole way.

Well put together -- light, lyric, airy -- to me this poem was served as a nice dish that won't linger around in my mind but was definitely enjoyable.

You presented your theme clearly and my only criticism is those last three stanzas.

[megakill]

Come on guys, MonkeyV has one vote, lets get some more!

[Jinxerz]

I'll throw in a vote for Trev.

Short, simple, and as deep as the Marianas trench, while being as shallow as a puddle at the same time.

[funnyhomeboy]

Munio's poetry is quick, subtle, and all the while presented an enjoyable theme with an execution that was very funny, and I actually laughed a bit at the end.

TrevorW had a good theme to it, but I feel that it could have been elaborated on, and that it could have been presented in an easier to comprehend way. (Probably just me, but whatever.)

Monkeyv had quite a bit of backing to it, but, as stated previously, the conclusion could have been more 'to the point'. Some areas were shaky in terms of flow, but I think that this piece showed the topic in a much more detailed light and put out a tangible and well described portrayal of what perfection truly is: impossible.

Munio: 0
TrevorW: 1
Monkeyv: 2

[megakill]

Not long left guys! Get your votes in while you can!

[megakill]

Well guys, voting is over. The final score is:

MonkeyV - 2
TrevorW - 1
Muinio - 0

So the winner is MonkeyV! Well done!
To the runners up, hard luck guys, but hang in there!

[MonkeyV]

Woo thanks guise.