A Morning Verse

[MagicalJamie]

Kookaburra's in the trees,
As I sit here with cold knees,
5:30am's chilly time,
...Trying to think of a rhyme.
Oh wait there's one, how convinient!
Who's only rhyme is simply lenient.
This once began as a morning poem,
Subject matter now ain't showin',
It's just a verse about a verse,
Seems poetry can be diverse.

-Jamie

[InsertFunnyUserName]

There are two things that stood out for me as being areas of concern.

The first is that the rhyme scheme and the rhyming in general seem too forced. You seem to have sacrificed fluidity for the ability to have your words rhyme, which takes a lot away from it. The problem is that to achieve that, you've stretched and bunched your syllables, if that makes sense, just so that they can fit into your structure.

The second is that the poem isn't really saying anything. It doesn't feel like it has a central idea, but is rather just a collection of lines that are vaguely related.

I'm not very good at reviewing poetry, but those are my two cents.

[MagicalJamie]

It's all good, I'm not a writer. This just came to me as I was updating facebook status.

The rhyming is unbelieveably forced :D and tacky ;)