A sinners reward

[TheReno]

January 5th... I think, 2010.
Woke up in a field surrounded by trees and no cityscape in the bg. Found this notebook laying beside me with a pen sticking out. It was in the middle and the page told me to wait for service. After what I think was two days I havent found any life anywhere. This journal is my only companion it seems.

January 6th, 2010
A realization struck me as I awoke. Well two realizations. One is that I have never actually seen it turn to night here. The second is that I am not hungry nor do I have to go to the bathroom. Weird.
>:3
JESUS CHRIST ITS A LION! GET TO THE CAR!
Also my new invisible friend Vader wants to say hi.

January 9th, 2010
I have lost my mind but gained a small sence of time. I have determined that since I am alone and since the world has failed to keep rotating, everything works on my time. Thus when I sleep (even though Im not tired, just bored) it is a new day. I have nearly filled the first half of this journal with random drawings and other such nonsense. I miss the internet. And my dog. And cat. I miss being able to jerk off. Seriously. I cant get it up. I have no idea why.

Welcome! Due to an overflow in processing, you have been temporarily diverted. Please wait here for service. Thank you -Management

June 10th, A long long time ago.
I have decided that it is too nice for January. And since I am now master of all things metaphysical (Vader helped me with that word) I have made it June. Also since the world is going to end in 2012 (and my best friend is Lord motherfucking Vader) it is now a really long time ago. Also Ive annexed this land in the name of the Empire. Mostly Vaders doing but I am the Emperor so really.

June10th
HOLY SHIT. VADER IS REAL! HE IS HERE STANDING BEFORE ME. HE PLEDGED HIMSELF TO ME AND HES CHILLIN WHILE I WRIT THIS DOWN!

Alright Im calmer now. Im writting this inbetween laughing my ass off. Vader tells the funniest fucking stories. He even has a working lightsaber. He cut down a tree and made fucking chairs and stools and tables and shit. Like and its not even halfassed shit. Id buy it if it were in a store. Im convinced that this is a coma. If so, I dont want to wake up.

June 11th, 2010 (sorry vader)
Two people came to see me today. They were twins but one was in a black suit and the other in white. They asked me a bunch of weird questions like what i did with my life, was I proud. That shit. I responded by asking WHAT THE FLYING FUCK WAS GOING ON! Black suit grinned at that. After a lengthy discussion (me shouting obscenities at them and demanding answer and them remaining silent) I complied and answered their questions. At the end they just hung their heads muttered something like "neutral" and left. Vader was nowhere to be seen till he showed up smoking a blunt. And I ain't talking about the legal ones :3

June 12th
I woke up and there was a stairway going... idk and a ferrari on asphalt leading into the trees. I have no idea where all this came from. Vader pulled out the keys to the ferrari and climbed in on the drivers side. Naturally I rode shotgun. Right now we are hauling ass on this highway, smoking the blunts that were in this thing and listening to Biggie. And no its not a cd. He is sitting in the middle of the back seats. This car is deceptivly small. There is soooooo much room in here. Like a stretch limo almost. Im sure there is a trick going on but I dont care, Biggie freestyles like a mother fucker. Also this weed is the best Ive ever had. Come on doctors, dont bring me out. I like it here.

Journal entry 13
Fuck dates. This journal entry is the next date and so on and so forth. Im high so if I dont make sense its all good. Were approaching what appears to be a giant rave party. Biggie called it the city of Dis. I can't remember where I heard that before but its all good. Vader says we still have a few days travel yet. Like he knows how long a day is. Blunts keep appearing in the glove box. We never run out. Vader used to have to use lightning to light the blunts but now we got a lighter. Oh wait i mean HE TAUGHT ME HOW TO SHOOT FUCKING LIGHTNING FROM MY MOTHERFUCKING HANDS! YES YES YES YES YES MOTHERFUCKING YES! Biggie doesnt though. His blunt never runs out. Its weird.

Journal entry 14
We passed through a gate. The top of it read "Abandon all hope ye who enter here". I realize where I was and am. I was scared for the very first time. Me and Vader looked at each other at the same time as I realized what happened. This is why I was scared because he said to me "Relax. I wouldn't have taught you how to use lightning if I were going to put you in a situation to use it in defense." Then biggie pulled out a mac 10 and threatened to mow down any mother fucker that tries to roll up on us.
It makes sense in a way. I mean why would the devil tempt you to sin just to torture you? Huh, the word devil turned red. There it is again! Thats cool. We passed a bunch of people walking towards the city. I asked what the fuck was up and vader said they were neutrals who didnt make a choice and now have to walk to the city, but they are actually walking in place and dont realize it. How do you not choose the hot ass car?

Journal entry 15
I actually used lightning on someone. We passed a neighborhood and driving by we passed this hot ass girl. I mean hawt. HAWT. Like Megan Fox opening the hood of the transformer hot. Id have loved to tap that. I told vader as much. he asked me why I just didnt do it. I damn near jumped out of the car when it hit me. If this was hell and the thing we passed was limbo then this had to be lust. Thats right, I read the divine comedy. Bitches. Vader gave me an approving nod and Biggie patted me on the shoulder saying "Bros before hoes". Once the squatters realized I wasnt getting out they tried to attack the car. So I did what most people with the ability to shoot lightning out their hands would do, I shocked some mother fuckers. Once they backed off we took off. I guess Vader is my proctor as well as my friend. Price of fame.

Journal Entry 16
Weed solves so many problems. We didnt even slow down. Vader just grabbed a handful of the never ending supply of blunts and chucked it at Cerberus as he charged us. Oh and theres alot of fat people lying around in the mud by the highway (get it?). Apparently they tried to eat the leaves of trees and shit to try to stave off the hunger that would and will never come. I didnt really get how that was a bad thing seeing as it crossed my mind when I was figuring out what I had at my disposal for survival. When I asked about it I got smacked upside my head by Biggie. "Who the fuck do you know eats a tree when they dont need to feed." Makes sense.

Journal Entry 17
"Stupid ass hos that don't know how to handle they buisness and fuck up other peoples lives wind up here"
Biggie told me as we approached two seperate ghettos. The first one held shops filled with the finer things in life and tons of people window shopping. No one entered and no one left. "Bitches savin up with money that supoosed to be used to feed they damn kids. And they never buy a damn thing." The second ghetto we passed was filled with crack addicts. "Fuckers using the same damn money to buy anything and everything. Buying shoes when they should be buying food."
Except for the scenary, best trip of my afterlife.

Journal Entry 18
We have to wait for the steamboat to come back to take us across the river styx. Vader handed me a spare saber and said "Dont be afraid to cut a bitch". No one tries to climb on the shore towards us but I was warned that the vengful may try to climb in the boat and that we have to be ready to defend the borders. Im abstaining from smoking till were across. Im going to try to sleep till the boat gets here.

(End Part I)

[con7822]

God i love this i love the way it starts of all weird and that the character slowly turns insane did feel it kinda went dantes inferno fast from limbo to middle of hell lol but it kept me reading cant wait for part 2

[TheReno]

Journal 19
Holy fuck. That was the hardest thing Ive ever had to do. The river was filled with bodies, all of em in a fight to the death... which is weird since its obvious were all dead. They seemed to leave us alone till we reached the middle. Then they assaulted the boat. I tried to use lightning but their rage overcame its effects and they continued to charge us. Biggie got out his two gats and shot at anyone who tried to climb up but there were so many of them. Me and Vader put our backs to each other and went sliced up anyone who got close to our group. We had to protect biggie and Phlegyas lest they get dragged into the waters.

Worse still was the fact that the dead are dead and cant be killed. The bodies just reconstituted themselves after we chopped them up. Luckily it was always at the back of the boat. I guess there was some sort of magic on the boat to help repel boarders. But more and more kept coming onboard and soon we were utterly surrounded. Eventually it was too much. They grabbed onto us and started to drag us off but it was too late. Just before they could drag us off we reached the port. Ahead of us was a huge wall with a giant gate. As soon as the steamboat stopped on the dock all the invaders turned into dust and we were alone. Im sitting here on the dock against a barrel resting. I wanted to write this while it was fresh in my mind. Now that its out Im going to smoke a victory blunt and be on my merry way. Vader is talking to the angels to secure us entrance into dis while Biggie is moving the car off the boat. Im going to stop this entry here till later. Time to talk to Vader.

(To be continued tomorrow)