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Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death

15,554 Views | 72 Replies

It has come to my attention that the illegal drug known as "marijuana" has become quite the controversy lately. Allow me to clarify what weed actually is.

Weed is a cold, heartless bastard of a drug. Its potency rivals that of heroin, ecstasy, 100 proof vodka, LSD and cocaine combined; it is so potent, in fact that one mere microgram is enough to cause a lethal overdose of an adult bull elephant.

It has such a destructive power that it has been known to tear families apart at the seams, mothers and fathers reduced to weed-addicted shells of their former selves. The family patriarch, with bloodshot eyes black as coals no longer protects or even cares for his former family. His only purpose is to smoke, to appease that which has so poisoned him. What may have been known as his loving wife is not so different; her hair frizzed and gray; her breasts, long since void of life-giving milk hang from her bosom like spoiled raisins; her beautiful skin hangs from her bones like a damp newspaper. They no longer care for the outside world, nor each other, nor themselves. Their once loved children sold long ago as slaves in the highlands to pay off their poor, poor addiction to the twisted plant.

When their life savings run dry and can no longer afford to support their addiction they simply resort to theft and crime, as all potheads do. With nothing to lose, they have no conscious to raping and murdering men, women, and children in order to secure their next hit. Like rats they vacate their dilapidated home in the dead of night in order to rob their neighbors and friends of any and all valuables in order to sustain their daily fix.

It is a demon, a treacherous wraith which will not think twice about smiting you with even the slightest of exposure. I once knew a man who was bold enough, or foolish enough, to lick a single joint. You know what happened to him? He died. On the spot. He was dead before he even began to fall to the ground.

The joint was deemed too dangerous to be disposed of by human hands, the building had to be burned to the ground. They tried to contain it, but the toxic marijuana smoke still escaped regardless of their best efforts. Several neighboring families were suffocated that night.

Weed is fertilized with human blood, did you know that? Every day hundreds of children all over the world are beheaded in order to irrigate the demon marijuana fields. Each gram you purchase is the lost head of an innocent child.

These children are not the only deaths which this ghastly plant is directly responsible for. In addition to billions of individual worldwide deaths; Adolf Hitler, an avid user of the plant himself, employed the twisted German gas of destruction "Zyklon B" to extinguish the lives of countless millions during WW2. The key ingredient in this deadly toxin is simply various breeds of pot. When directly translated from German to English "Zyklon B" literally means "marijuana smoke".

We must, as a society, expunge weed from out bounds; lest it destroy us all. We must open our eyes in lieu of the potheads. Do not listen to them, for they are addicted to the beast and it controls them like a dark puppeteer. Their souls devoured, they are nothing but zombie servants to the drug known as "weed". They will stop at nothing to cloak the seven-leaved wolf in the purest of sheeps' clothing in an attempt to spread their master to the entire population.

Do not be fooled by their innocent appearances, from the moment that their first puff entered their mortal lungs the devil spawn THC has slowly eaten away their body from the inside. It attacks the brain first - draining the victim of all common sense and permanently addicting them to the crutch of marijuana. Then slowly it feeds off the marrow, the flesh, the organs; anything it can find until the host is nothing but a mindless servant. Have you ever seen an autopsy of a pothead? When opened they are hollow - nothing but a blackened shell. A living corpse.

Once the poor human is under its total control the THC begins to use its hosts influence to spread to others; enticing them to smoke, pushing its demonic kin on any and all whom still live free. This is how the beast plans to overthrow society as we know it. Just as it forms tumors in its victims, it means to fester and grow on the ass of society like a ticking time bomb. Once it feels it has enough power, it will break free from its cancerous bubble and infect the rest of the human race, destroying it in the process.

Even now an ominous cloud of smoke rises from the roofs of countless Americans. How long, my friends? How long until the demon plant makes its final march on humanity? I cannot say for sure, but the Mayans may have predicted such an event long ago.

It will not rest until we are all beneath its cursed spell; once it has taken all that we know and love. Nothing will be left standing in its wake. No one will be spared. Nothing. Will. Be. Spared.

... Harmless?

HARMLESS??

Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death


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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 18:03:14


weed is a dangerous drug, my brother almost died from it.


"I let my dog lick my bumhole while wanking. You can quote me on that." EvilDog.

Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 18:07:06


Weed is overrated as fuck.

HARMLESS?

Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 18:07:30


At 3/17/10 06:05 PM, HecticCircleCrap wrote: Jaws? Are you serious?

Just like the devil of the sea in the cinematic classic Jaws weed floats among us. A black shadow of death lingering in the ominous distance, waiting for the opportune moment to consume its helpless victims.

Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death


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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 18:12:59


Wow, I just laughed my fucking ass off.


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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 18:14:26


At 3/17/10 06:10 PM, HecticCircleCrap wrote: I was hit by a car the other day, the person driving it was addicted to this awful, awful drug.

The parasitic beast was most likely in total control of your attacker; in hopes to expose you to "medical" marijuana via your injuries and thus so corrupt you...


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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 18:15:18


At 3/17/10 06:10 PM, HecticCircleCrap wrote: I was hit by a car the other day, i was addicted to this awful, awful drug. My name is twilight.

Fixed.


Proud supporter of Asian prostitutes in need.

PSN ID:Peegler

Steam ID:Donut

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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 18:18:12


At 3/17/10 06:12 PM, AndrewGlisson13 wrote: Wow, I just laughed my fucking ass off.
At 3/17/10 06:15 PM, Otto wrote:
At 3/17/10 06:14 PM, Daddy-L-Jackson wrote: This thread is pure fucking win.
Shut up man, Marryjowaner is a stone-cold killer.

Let me assure you all that I am very, very serious friends. Let us not forget the demon responsible the 9/11 attacks...

Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death


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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 18:20:32


There's an ineffable amount of win in this thread!


I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing

Than teach 10,000 stars how not to dance.

-- ee cummings

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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 18:22:29


At 3/17/10 06:18 PM, Sh0T-D0wN wrote: Let me assure you all that I am very, very serious friends. Let us not forget the demon responsible the 9/11 attacks...

Weed is bad, but you act as if smoking a single joint is like swallowing a fucking frag grenade.


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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 18:24:00


It's funny that there still haven't been any head on MARIJUANA overdoses... because the fact of the matter is, to overdose on weed would be to overdose on life. which is just not possible.

/lock thread


Check out my new song ''Open the Eyes Of My Heart Lord''

3rd place in the weekly 5!

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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 18:27:59


Look at this!

Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death


Nobody believes your excuses except you.

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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 18:30:41


Yes. That is true.

No but weed is bad mmkay

The Two-Word Story! Join in the fun!

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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 18:30:47


Well I smoke Weed everyday and have for years. And my grades are fine, im not depressed or a fucking tard. IT's sjust stupid when someone see's a burnout loser who smokes pot, then automatically assumes every other pot head is like that.

bastards

Check out my new song ''Open the Eyes Of My Heart Lord''

3rd place in the weekly 5!

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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 18:32:04


At 3/17/10 06:25 PM, HecticCircleCrap wrote:
At 3/17/10 06:24 PM, Mans0n wrote: Taking me seriously.
Well thanks for trying to ruin the thread, asswipe, but it won't work. Not as long as the dangers of marijuana still exist.

Not even the might of God could vanquish this demonic beast...

Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death


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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 18:41:58


At 3/17/10 06:35 PM, HecticCircleCrap wrote: Why didn't I ever notice that huge-ass marijuana leaf collar on the T-rex when I saw Jurassic Park?

Huh, I must have a rare copy.

The government must have censored the footage in order to avoid panic.

But surely you saw the mighty vecannaraptor?

Clever girl...

Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death


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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 19:02:33


At 3/17/10 06:30 PM, Mans0n wrote: Well I smoke Weed everyday and have for years. And my grades are fine, im not depressed or a fucking tard. IT's sjust stupid when someone see's a burnout loser who smokes pot, then automatically assumes every other pot head is like that.

bastards

Stop trying to ruin the thread by trying and failing at acting cool.


A vagina is really just a hat for a penis.

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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 19:07:49


At 3/17/10 07:03 PM, JKMonkey wrote: name one person who died from smoking weed, exactly

Rachel Scott
Richard Castaldo
Daniel Rohrbough
Sean Graves
Lance Kirklin
Michael Johnson
Mark Taylor
Anne-Marie Hochhalter
Brian Anderson
Patti Nielson
Stephanie Munson
Dave Sanders

Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death


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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 19:15:15


This thread has made my day amazing in so many ways.


I shit Bricks and Piss cement

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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 19:16:12


At 3/17/10 07:07 PM, Sh0T-D0wN wrote:
At 3/17/10 07:03 PM, JKMonkey wrote: name one person who died from smoking weed, exactly
Rachel Scott
Richard Castaldo
Daniel Rohrbough
Sean Graves
Lance Kirklin
Michael Johnson
Mark Taylor
Anne-Marie Hochhalter
Brian Anderson
Patti Nielson
Stephanie Munson
Dave Sanders

As unfunny as this is, I found it very funny. I almost OD'd when I smoked 5 weeds once.


brains.

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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 19:17:21


At 3/17/10 07:14 PM, JKMonkey wrote:
At 3/17/10 07:07 PM, Sh0T-D0wN wrote:
people
none of them died directly because of marijuana, now go pedal your morals somewhere else fag

I can not. Now that the weed knows of my attempt to stop its fiendish plot, it will surely attempt an assassination should I venture beyond the walls of my dorm.

I will have to keep to the crowds, and the shadows. Become a specter and lay low... But even then, it knows no mercy. It may strike at my life regardless of the innocent around me.

WITH FIRE

Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death


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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 19:22:06


HARMLESS?!

Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death

Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 19:23:28


At 3/17/10 07:07 PM, Sh0T-D0wN wrote:
At 3/17/10 07:03 PM, JKMonkey wrote: name one person who died from smoking weed, exactly
Rachel Scott
Richard Castaldo
Daniel Rohrbough
Sean Graves
Lance Kirklin
Michael Johnson
Mark Taylor
Anne-Marie Hochhalter
Brian Anderson
Patti Nielson
Stephanie Munson
Dave Sanders

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST ONE


i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i

oh no I am choking on a million dicks

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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 19:27:18


At 3/17/10 06:22 PM, AndrewGlisson13 wrote:
At 3/17/10 06:18 PM, Sh0T-D0wN wrote: Let me assure you all that I am very, very serious friends. Let us not forget the demon responsible the 9/11 attacks...
Weed is bad, but you act as if smoking a single joint is like swallowing a fucking frag grenade.

It's much worse. You might as well guzzle an entire gallon of bleach mixed with urine and semen, while eating another human, while, at the same time anally ingesting alka-seltzer tablets, making sure you pop any hemorrhoids whilst doing so. That is safer than smoking marijuana.


Give me cash and receive arts!

(thanks for the years of Lulu/Payne r34 my loyal dealers)

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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 19:31:36


At 3/17/10 07:27 PM, Chdonga wrote:
At 3/17/10 06:22 PM, AndrewGlisson13 wrote:
At 3/17/10 06:18 PM, Sh0T-D0wN wrote: Let me assure you all that I am very, very serious friends. Let us not forget the demon responsible the 9/11 attacks...
Weed is bad, but you act as if smoking a single joint is like swallowing a fucking frag grenade.
It's much worse. You might as well guzzle an entire gallon of bleach mixed with urine and semen, while eating another human, while, at the same time anally ingesting alka-seltzer tablets, making sure you pop any hemorrhoids whilst doing so.

While being struck by lightning in the midst of a raging tempest; debris lashing against your skin like the blasts of a dozen shotguns. As your skin slowly peals from your body you will rise up and thank the Heavens that at least you had been spared the excruciatingly painful death via weed.

Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death


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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 19:46:31


At 3/17/10 06:03 PM, Thechickensparta wrote: weed is a dangerous drug, my brother almost died from it.

Your brother must have smoked several pounds of it then.

OP is trollin.

Sig by me. Suck it bitches.

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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 19:47:49


As many of you may be aware, the origional NAZI flag didn't have a swastikah, but a POTleAF! Come on People! what does that tell you about the deadly baby-killing, house burning, woman raping drug?!?!!?

fools

Lordadon is your Lord

Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-17 20:04:22


At 3/17/10 07:46 PM, Scorpion325 wrote:
At 3/17/10 06:03 PM, Thechickensparta wrote: weed is a dangerous drug, my brother almost died from it.
Your brother must have smoked several pounds of it then.

OP is trollin.

It was no several pounds; for I was there at the time. We were walking down Broadway, CS' brother and I, as we normal did when suddenly a pothead crawled out from beneath the street. From the dark sewer he stumbled to us, tripping and falling he reached out his hand to catch CS' brother for balance; little did we know he had just smoked a joint hours before.

Like the sting of a viper the weed residue on his hand raced through CS' brother's skin and entered his system, destroying his mind and vaporizing his organs instantly. He fell to the ground in a limp pile. Dead. The pothead quickly scurried back to the sewer to rejoin his fellow homeless, I never saw him again.

This is an entirely legitimate thread, I assure you. I am not trolling in any way, shape or form. Everything I have said ITT is a proven fact.


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Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-19 18:04:13


At 3/17/10 08:04 PM, Sh0T-D0wN wrote:

Like the sting of a viper the weed residue on his hand raced through CS' brother's skin and entered his system, destroying his mind and vaporizing his organs instantly. He fell to the ground in a limp pile. Dead. The pothead quickly scurried back to the sewer to rejoin his fellow homeless, I never saw him again.

sorry for the 2 day bump, but this is absolutely true, we tried to rush him to the hospital but he was dead from the start.

R.I.P brother.


"I let my dog lick my bumhole while wanking. You can quote me on that." EvilDog.

Response to Weed: Addiction, Cancer, and Death 2010-03-19 18:18:37


Yeah it has plenty dangers if you're stupid and misuse it. Much like crossing the road, HMMMM.


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