The Bus

[TheThing]

A simple I wrote while riding on a bus, and thought it was a good metaphor for my life.

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I am sitting on the Bus
There is no light inside
The seats are made of ice
My back is against the window

There are a million Suns outside
They are grabbing at me
But their warm hands do not reach me
I look over my shoulder

I ask the driver to stop
He says he does not know how
I see we are heading to the Tunnel
He does not hear my protests

I look at my watch
It goes at an impossible rate
I look at the Suns
They quickly pass by

I fear I will never walk with the Suns
I fear I will reach the tunnel too soon
I want to get off the Bus
I want to experience Life

[sinfulwolf]

It was a rather interesting piece. I really didn't know what you were going on about until the end, but that's not a problem. Not as I see it anyway. The end was very well put, and I really enjoyed this piece. Thanks for sharing.

[TheThing]

At 3/16/10 12:58 AM, sinfulwolf wrote: It was a rather interesting piece. I really didn't know what you were going on about until the end, but that's not a problem. Not as I see it anyway. The end was very well put, and I really enjoyed this piece. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks. I really wasn't sure if I wanted it to end with "I want to experience Life", which kind of gives everything I was trying to convey away. But at the same time, it's very vague, especially at the beginning, and many readers probably wouldn't have known what I was talking about.

[sinfulwolf]

More than likely not, and while poetry does tend to be very personal, sometimes its nice to even just lay it out for people to see what you mean.

[Retrospective]

At 3/16/10 01:04 AM, sinfulwolf wrote: More than likely not, and while poetry does tend to be very personal, sometimes its nice to even just lay it out for people to see what you mean.

I agree with this. I see what you mean, that you want people to figure it out, or take their own meaning, but some people prefer to be told meanings after build ups