A poem about a robot or going crazy

[psyCHo014]

I wrote this in class 8 days ago while thinking about school & society & how we're basically taught to be robots. Think about it, we're trained to be " functional. " If we're not they get rid of us or, just leave us to die on our own if we don't conform to what society asks of us. What do they program us for? A job. Why do we need jobs? Because that's the system, the entire point is we're robots being p-rogrammed to follow a system & can be easily replaced by other robots if we break down say due to stress, depression, frustration, ect. Its just another poem expressing feelings. ( As if there weren't enough. )

Short Circuit

Programs and data fry its brain,
Malfuntionig technology, gone insane.

Can't shut-up internal panic!
Badly wired! Skizophrenic!
Delusions of hypo-manic!

Wires snap in its head,
Crooked spine sends little twitches to make it think its still not dead.

Can't shut-up internal panic!
Badly wired! Skizophrenic!
Bi-polar! Hypo-manic!

It lets out a scream while charged by dying jolts,
Inspect its brain, remove the bolts.

Can't shut-up internal panic!
Badly wired! Skizophrenic!
Super stressed! Hypo-manic!

Examine its brain and flip the switch,
Broke and useless from a glitch.

Can't shut-up internal panic!
Badly wired! Skizophrenic!
Suicide! Hypo-manic!

Forget and replace the sabotaged machine,
Deceased and lobotomized shell sits serene.

Can't shut-up internal panic!!
Badly wired!! Skizophrenic!!
DEPRESIVE AND HYPO-MANIC!!!

[permaximum1]

Ok i really like this idea for a poem or what have you. Read the poem and i find it ok, could elaborate more on the topic. But it was good. If you hadn't presented the topic first and explained it a little i would have been totally lost while reading the poem. One thing i really liked when i was reading it was that i could tell that there was something deeper going on, and it made me want to read on. Also you could definatly expand on this topic. Why constrain it to just a poem? Why not turn it into a prose essay or a thoughful poem or something where u can expand on this idea.

Overall very good idea, presentation of it in this poem could use some work. I give it a 3 outa 5.