Rumpy Monologue!

[Nateofwar]

Ok guys, i'm sure somones been waiting for me to post my work here so here it is. I chose this as my first peice because it was my first Monologue that i: Wrote, Re-wrote, Re-wrote, Memorized, Blocked, Edited, Re-memorized, Re-blocked, Preformed all on my own.

blocking is a theater term for the movments you make on the stage.

This monologue is entitled: Lil' Rumpy.

Backstory: Basicaly this was a class assingment to write a monologue about a famous fairytale character. I chose the character Rumplestiltskin. I skewed the story a bit though to where Rumple WINS the baby. The whole point of my monologue was to point ask what Rumple was thinking when he asked for a baby. This is of course from the perspective of a man.

if you didn't know the ultimate STD for a man is a baby.

So here it comes...

Rumplestiltskin : HA Ha Ha, Now the baby is... is... MINE! A baby. A baby? What was i thinking I can't take care of this thing. I don't have the income to support a family! Oh man I can't beleive how hard I worked for this! I spun straw into gold... I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I DID THAT! That was a one time thing... And why does this always have to smell. She told me it would smell like flowers, well THESE roses don't smell verry good.

(begins changing diaper)

She never told me i'd have to change diapers. SHE didn't tell me it would cry until 2 a.m EVERY NIGHT! SHE DIDN'T TELL ME I would have to feed it 6 jars of baby food A DAY!

(finishes changing baby, takes a moment to calm down.)

(adressing baby) I need to get away from you tonight, but first i need to get a sitter. Who could i call? (thinks for a moment) I wonder what the queen is doing tonight? I'll call her.

(picks up phone, dials, waits a moment, Hangs up angrily) DAMNIT, It's bad enough she doesn't pay child support she could AT LEAST pick up the phone. (calms down and tries again.) (gets the machine) OH hey... yeah its me again. Just... uh... callin to see how you were doin'. I'm fine... I'm just chillin' with the baby.... So uh i was wondering if... maybe if you werent too busy tonight mabe you could watch little Rumpy for me. And hey, my offer to let you guess my name, RUMPLESTILTSKIN!!! again is still on the table. So uh when you get this message or maybe READ ONE OF THE HUDREDS OF OTHERS I'VE LEFT YOU... you could call me back. K? I'll see you later i guess... bye...(hangs up)

*sigh* GOD I HATE HER SO MUCH!

(takes another moment to calm down)

So who else could i call? (thinks to himself a moment) AHA i know there is that Wolf fellow down the road... Wait, then again, there was that insident with the neighbor girl with the Red Hood. Hey... That could just work out for the best.... Nah, that can't be legal... Oh well, i guess it's just another night, alone, with the baby...

(scene)

So this is my monologue final for my drama class last term. It got an A+.

writer and actor... im like a triple threat

So tell me what you think. Maybe next time i'll post some more recent work!