Pragmatic Thoughts

[bipolarmunkey]

This is just a short poem/song I wrote. No chorus, just a basic guitar riff behind it. It's very old, so forgive me if it's not that good. I enjoyed writing it though. It really cleared my mind and gave me a sense of peace for some reason. Hope you enjoy and provide any feedback. Good or bad, I'd enjoy hearing your thoughts.

Pragmatic Thoughts

From days that drift by
To all the broken, abandoned lives
That have been brought down
And wasted away into the earth

Though these fables will bury me
There's a crack in which I have seen
That can help the broken down
And pull them above the ground

But with every jaded word
Unfolds a story with twists and turns
And with every lie I hear
Burns up and fuels my inner fears

Of the pain that I may bring
To those that I am saving
What if they are not as pure
Of heart and I was not the cure

But how can they learn this much
When the hand they never felt can't touch
The angry and the scared
Is it wrong or am I just as bare

On the inside of my mind
I search and wonder of what I'll find
As I walk through the last corridor
I sense something that wasn't there before

Is it anger, or is it rage
Is it something to explain my fate
Nothing there now, I've gone numb
I can't explain it but I have become

What I wanted to save
Can I help myself before I break
Into pieces too small to find
Now it's me that's running out of time

All those days that I prayed
For everyone now come to date
I forgot the dreams on my shelf
While praying for them I forgot myself...

[TrevorW]

I like this! You do have some forced rhymes, but that is probably cleared up when sung. Nice work.

[bipolarmunkey]

thanks! yea, the cadence is followed with the guitar riff. In almost perfect unison actually. Probably why I like it so much. I have a hard drive filled with songs that I'll probably sift through and post my favorites.

Thanks again for the feedback. I'll make a thread for all of my stuff. please check it out.

[TrevorW]

At 2/1/10 07:16 PM, bipolarmunkey wrote: thanks! yea, the cadence is followed with the guitar riff. In almost perfect unison actually. Probably why I like it so much. I have a hard drive filled with songs that I'll probably sift through and post my favorites.

Thanks again for the feedback. I'll make a thread for all of my stuff. please check it out.

Sure! I am not much for lyrics in terms of advice giving, but I am sure look.