The Cliff.

[Elsid]

I was torn.

I was torn.

I was torn.

Hairs blow lightly in the wind. A thick salty compound is secreted and globules of it glide gently down the side, eventually falling off it's edge and journeeing through air to the grey rock which upon it will rest on briefly. Tongue hangs out. The dryess this causes is well worth the coolness this brings. Shoulders rise and fall, softly mechanical. Their silent progress equalled by the repetitive motion of the arms. They swing. They swing. A hypnotic pendulum.

Muscles contract and dilate. Sinew bridging their gap to bone. A togetherness of many gives this giant being momentum.

Giant.

Giant.

More than giant this entity is all.

Through the air. Sliding gracefully. Over the edge.

Into nothing.

[TrevorW]

At the start I expected a strong voice, but it quickly faded; the piece ended up being lost in the ambiguity of a face-less speaker. There was to power behind the words. Mind you, your vocabulary is extremely demonstrated as Immaculate in this short tale -- though at times it is too strong and it over powers the weak voice to an even greater degree. (Also there are a few grammar mistakes which makes the reader question if the obviously intelligent person proof read or took his/her writing into an objective position.)

Over all the piece did not strike me hard enough to bother to postulate [the assumed] intelligent meaning behind the words.

Finally tip and conclusion: work on your voice as a writer and I think you will have plenty to say..you seem very smart.

[InsertFunnyUserName]

I don't like the repetition of "I was torn" three times and "giant" twice, being that this isn't a poem. That kind of repetition has its place, but not often with the exact same sentence being written. I would suggest using two other synonyms instead of using "torn" three times. Although I don't really see how said repetition fits into the voice of your story. That being said, repeating "They swing" works well in its place.

I agree with the above poster that the story kind of loses its power towards the end. It feel safe saying that it's because it's too ambiguous. The vagueness starts out as being an asset as it gives you a grabbing opening two lines (not counting the "I was torn"s), but the problem is that you don't get any more specific as to what's going on.

Let's take the "a thick salty compound..." sentence. Where is that being excreted from and what is it sliding down? That's never clarified and so it takes the mind off of the message of the story and onto trying to figure out what's happening in a literal sense. Things like that.

Now, again, like the above poster said, your vocabulary is clearly excellent and you made good word choices in a stylistic and tonal sense. However, I think you let that get in the way of the actual meaning of the story.

I feel like you should expand on that first paragraph (the one that starts "hairs blow lightly in the wind") and describe that situation more so that the ending has a greater impact.

[Elsid]

Thank you both very much, brilliant critiques!