It was a Tuesday evening and had gone just swell, the air tasted a bit crisp with a hint of stale but that was alright. In the suburb was a hub of activity that absolutely reeked of tension and energy; I simply had to see what was going on. In the center of the large crowd of people was a band of punk rockers playing their instruments quite poorly, showing off their cuts and pathetic garbs they called clothes in which had holes in them and shitty logos no one really cares about.
Something had to be done. But what? I thought to myself quickly that this abomination was a disgrace to all things metal (as punk generally is) and it just can't be excepted. So I ran up to the lead guitarist and took his guitar away; this as you can imagine caused quite a stir amongst the crowd.
I smashed that mother fucker in the face until it stopped being funny, and it didn't for quite some time. When the security guards tried to beat me with their nightsticks, I caught them and twisted in a circular motion which effectively disarmed them. I then adjusted to use them as tonfas and ripped the face off of the nearest guard with a single downward stroke.
I left the first one on the ground screaming for his mother and forward rolled over him. I speared the next guard in the gut with both tonfas, and followed up with a quick disembowelment. The blood gushed onto the face of a nearby girl and caused the crowd to disorganize in a chaotic fashion.... But I wasn't nearby done.
I sailed through the air and came crashing down upon the drummer that can only cause a continuous stream of incoherent noise. While doing so I took up a cymbal and threw it at him, I thought it would slice his neck off but this only caused him to suffocate. Pity. By now the singer and bassist split up, so I decided to go for the bassist because everyone knows that his life must suck the most, as even in good music the bassist goes unheard and only prevents the rhythm guitar from sounding craptacular.
He didn't get far before I managed to strangle him with his own bass strings. True they were thicker, but this caused his blood to ooze out like the blood from his cuts. While he was still living I decided to lick the blood from his neck and then I licked his eyeballs. The gurgling noises he made were so cute! I could write about them all day... but I digress.
Now the hunt is on for that vocalist, I will find him and I will make him pay for his emo bullshit, on this I swear.
Derp.
