"Searching for my Vamperis

[badwolfpup]

Darkness as the full moon rises
with bloody cries romeing into the night as people die
my puls slowens as my heart races
eyes turing black lake the world around me

Callin up my friends to find what it's about
they look at me with fear in their eyes
I ask whats the matter
they dont even try to hide it

I don't belive it but it's the bitter truth
even so just cause i'm not human doesn't make me a demon
and yet its the holy half blood of the wolf in me they see

I look at the moon and feel a rage burning with in me
its just anger for the passed wars in my life
im just a holy hybrid of a wolf and people
But how can this be?

To fight is my only reason to be
I take my blade and travel the night
they see me comeing and run away
yet my blade is true but only because of you

I said i'd kill for you my holy vamperis lady of my dreams
the one i lone for so my blade goes deep
I've killed so many and yet we can not be
so i stain in blood alleys and road ways

How many more lives will i have to take
before I can take you as my bride to be
ten more bodies hit the ground
and still your not to be found
so I travile to the next town
in search of my vamperis
huming to myself how many more lives will I have to take

[megakill]

I like the story to this, however, the thing that spoiled it for me was the poor spelling and grammar.
It got to the point where i was looking for the next mistake, rather than really being imersed in the plot.

Next time, just take a second to proof read your work, and if your unsure about anything, use spell check in word or something.

Other than that, it was good. The story was rather original; its rare to hear of a warewolf being in love with a vampire.
Keep it up!

[badwolfpup]

thank you i'm not all to good in spelling and grammer though thats on thing my teachers could never
tech me i am ashamed to say