Coure's Writing Forum

[coure]

Hello guys I am coure an aspiring author and have written many stories of various genres in my short life and I thought 'Why not share them with the wonderful people of Newgrounds' So here you go.

This first one is unfinished and has no title but, I hope you enjoy it anyway.

David scribbled furiously on a piece of paper, trying to hear every word out of Proffesor Cortez's mouth. David snagged a glance up at the proffesor, usually the proffesor wore a blue suit and had nice kempt hair but today something was wrong. Today Proffesor Cortez's outfit consisted of a collared shirt with blue and brown stripes running across it in various sizes, blue pinstrip dress pants and his hair looked unbrushed and greasy. Another quick glance up showed David that Professor Cortez didn't shave this morning, the usual small mustache resting on his top lip was now less visible due to sprouting whiskers around his mouth.
At one of the usual pauses the proffesor allowed them during lectures David threw his head back and let out a long sigh. David looked around him at his fellow students in the college classroom. David, up on the third row, noticed a number of students massaging there palms gently with there opposite thumb. He noticed some of the students sleeping, there snores just barely audioble over the air conditioning unit in the back of the room. And most of all he noticed the absence of his best friend, Cassandra who also was the daughter of Proffesor Cortez. Her piucture popped in his head her big brown eyes glittering in the sunlight, her hair flowing against the slight breeze, her large breasts gently bobbing up and down as she walked.
A loud screeching noise erupted through the speaker system and awoke him from his daze. He looked blankly around before remembering where he was. He began to pack up his books and school supplies when he noticed that Proffesor Cortez was walking up the stairs toward him.Oh-No He thought as he hurried to finish packing before the proffesor reached him. He slammed his binder into his brown bookbag and quickly dropped all his pencils into the front pocket. He zipped up the bookbag and began to walk toward the door but, he was too late Cortez had put his arm around David and whispered to him so soft he had to strain his ears to hear it. "Come into my office" he had said and began to walk down the stairs his strides long and casual. THoughts began to crash into David like a tidal wave What if I'm in trouble? was the first thing to appear in his mind followed by the memory of a scene by the big oak tree in the center of campus.
A young man probably four years younger than David stood about ten yards away from him, a menacing grin on his face. "Why don't you come ovr here and do something about it?" Rang Big Johns voice through the cold winter air. His friends called him Big John and so did most everyone else and for good reason too. Big John had the muscles of Chuck Norris and the stamina of Neal Armstrong. David stared at the man across from him with hate in his eyes. "come on you fuckin pussy" he yelled his friends laughing and pointing at David. Things would have been different if David had taken his medication that day. The medication that controlled his anger, but that day was the day he felt he didn't need to take it anymore, well he was wrong. David took off across the grass and hurled himself upon John, the expression on Johns face one of shock and amusement which quickly faded into rage as David landed a hard blow to John's ribs. "You bastard" he coughed as David reared his knee back for another hit. Just before it made contact John managed to lurch out form underneath David leaving David stunned and vulnerable. John jumped on David punching his gut and kneeing his testicles. A scream of pure agony escaped David as he felt the hard knee pound against the soft flesh of his scrotom. "You like that bitch?" screamed John still punching and kneeing him. A final blow to the stomach and John lunged off of him and let David fall to the ground little whimpers of pain escaping his lungs every few moments. Laughing John ran up to David and bent over him to look him in the eyes. David looked back and saw nothing but hysteria in thos dark green eyes. David tooki the oppurtunity and threw out a fist at John striking him in the temple, temporarily disabling him. Dazed John looked around for David who was making his way toward a branch left lying on the ground from the oak stumbling most of the way. As John slowly regained his vision he saw David once before he was out and that one thing he say was the hard branch of a tree flying at his gut knocking the wind out of him and spirit. David continued to pound Johns unconsciounce body for about fifteen seconds before an instructor arrived to break it up.They were both taken to the hospital and John was treated for fractures and a concussion while David was treated for two broken ribs and a ruptured scrotom
David winced and touched his ribcage where the surgery had taken place. His fingers ran up and down the scar that remained as only a reminder to take his medication everyday. Looking down at the door leading to Proffesor Cortez's office he saw Cortez unlocking the door and turning on the lights, David reluctantly followed knowing one more suspension and he would be expelled.
David walked into the office slowly, Cortez ushered for him to take a seat and he did after he closed the door. "David..." he said almost mumbling. Thats when david noticed the tears, Proffesor Cortez is crying?! he thought with appalment. "David somethings happened to Cassandra" David locked up tight and looked directly into the eyes of Cortez fear and worry clouded both there eyes. David was at a loss for words he just sat there dumbfounded by the statement.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[coure]

My indents aren't showing up, I dont know why but, I apologize please don't think this is poor quality it is just my computer that is poor quality.

[Jackdabomb]

Very Nice. I enjoyed the story and you make it vivid. Other than a few spelling errors it's really good.

I can't wait for the next part.

[coure]

Thanks, I will post the next segment tomorrow or the next day and also I will make sure to spell check next time.

[jake-thesnake]

Oh God, as soon as I got to the last three sentences, I started freaking out wondering what happened to her. I knew that you liked writing and all, but this is badass. I mean aside from a few spelling mistakes, this was really good.

The fight scene was unpredictable and I didn't know what was going to happen. This utilizes suspense and details very effectively. I loved how David reacted to Big John, and that fight was really cool because I could imagine just how they were fighting. A good author is really good when they can make you feel like you were actually there. And this did exactly that.

You proved that you are, in fact, a very good author and can write some badass shit that just comes out of your mind. Obviously you need to take a career in writing, perhaps work for a magazine and write stories for them?

Anyways I really loved this story and cannot wait to read the next part of it and find out what happened to Cassandra.

CASSANDRA?! CASSANDRAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

[coure]

Staring speechless at Cortez, jaw agape, David desperately wondered what was wrong, although he was afraid to find out. Ever since Cassandra joined Paultek University 3 years ago to study Website Design with David they had been best friends.

Tears silently and sorrowfully rolled down Cortez's cheeks and onto the desk he was sitting behind, dampening some of the adjacent papers.
"I am not supposed to tell anyone, but she wanted me to tell you" Cortez said not looking up from the desk.
"I am only going to tell you what I know because the whole story is still unclear to my because she refuses to tell it all" Cortez said still not looking up at David
"All Right here it goes, last night while Cassandra was out with her friends at the movies she called me and told me she was coming to my home rather than her dorm room and it sounded like she was crying. About twenty minutes later she was knocking on my door and when I opened it she pretty much fell on my shoulder and cried her eyes out" Cortez hesitated as if he wasn't sure what all to tell David.
"I quickly shut the door and locked then took her into the kitchen and got her a mug of coffee and that's when i noticed all the blood. Her back was soaked in it and it looked like more was still pouring out. I quickly grabbed a towel and attempted to stop the bleeding. After it ceased i took a careful inspection of the wounds causing this and realised they were whip wounds" A small whimper escaped Cortez's lips and snot trickled from his nose.
"She had needle pricks in her arms too and i knew she had been doing heroin" David was appalled. Cassandra would never do heroin would she? David just stared at the professor not wanting to hear more but needing to.
" after I calmed her a bit we talked and she told me a few things. One thing she told me was that the person responsible was from the school and the other thing she told me was..." Cortez stopped to wipe his eyes and nose, then looked up at David for the first time and David saw the redness in his eyes.
"she was raped" he mumbled. Sobs began to emanate from him hysterically and he gave p on trying to stop them. David finally was able to say something.
"why does she want me to know this?" He asked with a horrifying expression on his face, one of terror and confusion and a small bit of pity for the poor old professor.
"I don't know, shes at the house right now in bed and my wife is taking care of her"
"Did you call anyone?" David asked, rage beginning to fill his body like a tea pot on the stove.
"She said they would kill her if we told anyone, Please believe me David I wanted to tell someone but she wouldn't let me and now I need you to talk to her"
Something occurred to David and he asked this question very calmly for the situation he was in
"They?"

[jake-thesnake]

when I was reading the part where it she said "they"; I figured it was improper grammar. Because they is plural, but at the end it explained it to me.
Really great story so far. though the second part is a little slow.

I bet it was John who raped her :O