My published works

[The4thSurvivor]

A Wandering Mind

The sky is a shattered bottle on asphalt on a summer day.
The moon is a ball of blue fire melting away the darkness.
The crickets sing a soulful song or sorrow and woe, as the night speeds by.
The shallow night somber silence is broken by the screech owl,
only for a few seconds then the silence returns.
The comfort of home was left behind hours ago, and the warmth too.
Lying under the stars and seeing the moon stare back makes it one amazing experience.
The fire crackles as the embers smolder,
and the utter silence is broken once again,
but only to be replaced by a greater pause in all life.

you can see more on my blog on myspace if you want.

[Earthshine]

It was pretty good. you have a few spelling and grammatical errors. the story sounds like it is a boy running away from his home or is drifting asleep somewhere in the night.

[TrevorW]

This is pretty good, though your title made me think I was dealing with a professional poet. (Please pull a title that doesn't over-state your work, it makes you look silly)

At any rate I see a style forming here, so build on it.

[The4thSurvivor]

I've got that one published. I wrote it in 10th grade.

heres another one of mine. its not published, but its a bit darker.

I lie on the ground, and say hello to the sky
Then I stand, face the ground, and say goodbye.
I fall to my knees, with my arms held up high,
Knowing that tonight is the night that I'll die.

What I've done is all wrong, I've never done any good
And yet by my side, my mother has stood.
It will hurt the most, when I see her cry
As I lie in a closed casket, a few days after I die.

As the blood runs out, of the split in my face,
My heart shall race, and then return to a slower pace.
Breathing will slow as I sink from this place,
And in hell, the devil, will open one more space.

As I walk through the valley of darkness, and feel death's grip
I'll close my eyes, and into his hands I'll slip.
My eyes are closed, like they have always been,
Because my life, as a failure, is best not ever seen.

[megakill]

I really like this second one. It gives a real atmosphere of loss and defeat, and all the while i cant help but sense you feel somewhat ashamed of yourself.

You say that your about to die, yet from your style and tone, i almost get the impression that emotionally and phycologically, your already dead.

You dont write in a particuarly cryptic, or subtle fashion, but i still see there are layers to this poem which arent so obvious. Your clearly state your bad person in this poem, but you can still feel compassion and sympathy, as you express your pain over seeing your mother cry. I think that although you say you've never done anything good, perhaps you are not really the bad person you portray, but infact you've just made some bad choices, and things have not gone quite the way you hoped.

Well, thats just my interpritation anyway. the only thing that i would have like to have seen is a bit more experimentation with the layout of your work, but then not all poems call for that.

Great job man, i really enjoyed this.

[The4thSurvivor]

here is another one. this one is i guess free verse. let me know what you all think

ALSO

any and all spelling errors were made DURING the original typing. i type as the wordds flow from me, and any errors remain there. unless theyre ridiculous.

there was once a burning conflagration of a desire that raged inside of me
whenever i came near her
the thought of her
the sound of her voice
the texts she would send me
all made me so happy and would brighten my day in every way possible
now that ive found out that there are no reciprocal feelings present
and now that i know for sure
all of the feelings have been doused by a massive deluge
reduced to mere ashes in the blink of an instant message
even though the before mentioned blaze was only burning for a short time
it grew so large so fast
some kind of accelerant was present, and it was her being
everything about her
her warm smile
her soft yet breathtaking and stunning looks
and especially her hugs
one that i recieved almost killed me
for i was overwhelmed by the embrace i recieved
seeing her walk by me made me just want to drop everything and follow her
not in a way to make her nervous or uncomfortable
but in a way that had me completely enthralled with just her
i could follow her to the gates of hell and back
and not question any of her choices
any of them, but just one
the one that shes making right now
the one that makes her choose the man that couldnt make up his mind
he chose to le her go and leave her hanging
and she has returned to him
he could not make up his mind, but she had faith in him
even though hes just using her
she deserves to be loved
she says that she doesnt know me at all really
and its true
i dont know her that well either
but i dont need to know all about oxygen, just that i need it to survive
to live
to flourish
to be
me
all alone
by myself
for so long
wanting something meaningful
grasping at strings that only fall down upon my head with no meanings.
now the process begins
that ive begun a few times before today
the process of getting over
releasing such strong feelings all at once
and forgetting them
its hard to build a wall to prevent seeing something that is just so massive and powerful.
its like trying to build a wall to shield the earth from the suns warming glow.

[The4thSurvivor]

ALSO

frustration 5:38 PM 10/5/2007

yet another day has come and passed and i still feel no fulfillment
i look onto my hands and think to myself what have i done so far
and all i can think to say to myself is nothing
nothing had been accomplished
nothing has even been completed
i have left every thing that was important in my life slide to destruction
and i once again ask myself why i still stand here
like i have so many times before
and once again i can only answer with one word
weakness
im too weak to bring an end
all i can do is pray for it
that for one day it might come to me in some form
and hopefully the end is painful
because suicide is painless
and that just isnt for me
no there would be only one reason for the end of my life
to slash this deception of a happy face and put in place of it another mask
'a mask of blood and tears
not of my own
but of the ones that loved me
and of the blood from my heart
flowing and choking me
bubbling from a lacerated throat like a babbling stream
of thick red blood
dripping to the ground with a pitter patter like the sounds of small children's bare feet
collecting in one spot then spreading slowly
running into the cracks of the floor and decaying
leaving the stench of death there forever
ive fallen into the cracks and i dont have a rope
in trapped in a room that is slowly closing in on me
crushing my dreams and splintering my bones like glass
squeezing out my organs with such a sickening sloshing sound
splitting my skull like a nut and oozing my brain from between the cracks
ive fallen into the cracks of this life,
and lie on my back unable to get up
feeling so extremely helpless
and awaiting the inevitable end of a wasteful life
full of pain and remorse
full of tears and cries
full of laughs covered by a veil of a hate so sincere it cant be held in by any means humanly possible
it tears through my cells and flows into the cracks, same as my blood
but instead of dissipating, intensifying
everyone will feel its presence until their bittersweet ends of life
and it will be an avatar of myself forever
only being laid to rest with my body after i have been completely forgotten

[The4thSurvivor]

MODS< please dont lock my thread. i am sorry that I am triple posting. i know its wrong. i tried to post this one in my last reply, but somehow it didnt make it in.

THIS IS ALSO PUBLISHED, and one of my own favorites.

a life on fire

life is about to end
and im the one without a path
pray for me as i walk this line
stumbling and falling down to my knees
and praying for help on what to do
screaming out for forgiveness
and hearing nothing but the laughter
rising to my feet
i wipe the blood from my eyes
and bleed without a pulse
with a constant flow of numb
walking forward and stripping the chains from my arms
and feeling the pain rising up in my chest
conflagration lies around me
incinerating the bodies of my foes
knowing im the last still standing
i reach for my chest
and rip through the flesh spilling out my spirit
i fall to the ground face down
and burn with the others
burn with the foes ive defeated
and yet ive died in vain
without a reason
without a purpose
and decay like the millions of evils torn from their spaces
life had only begun
and 19 years had been too short on the face of this world
the heart hasnt beated for some time
and yet it doesnt rot
it doesnt burn
it doesnt dissipate
it lies still
like the others will
for all eternity
yet alone there
by itself
forever strong

[Luke]

They're all kind of emo...

[HahaISuckMoreThanYou]

At 1/28/10 12:39 PM, EpicFail wrote: They're all kind of emo...

Idk the first one was pretty peaceful, while the second I liked because it is what a boy who is on the pit of despair, which I can relate to at times when hell comes true.

Though the others I agree with epic-fail's statement, the 3rd and 4th (though I think they're one in the same and not enough characters post in one) one sounds emoish since it sounds like someone sulking onto himself for not getting a girl he wants and the last one sounds like someone committing suicide, and though well written, reminds me too much of hapless losers who'd shoot themselves for losing a ipod. (With all due respect)

[TrevorW]

I think you should post your current poetry, because the work from 2007 is way too old to be used as a judge of your ability. If you have to abandon your "published works" idea do it.

[BarryPlionaer]

Some of them seems a bit childish in a manner of someone not fully understanding the severity of his actions.
Also, they remind me of emo themes.
The second poem is the best for me out of the rest. I think you should publish your recent works, so that we can witness your current talent and ability.

I'm sorry for whoring out my post..... But look for it and give it a read. don't hesitate to post a reply.

[The4thSurvivor]

You are all correct in saying that yes, they are old. They are depressing, but I dont find them 'emo-ish'. I am not an emo faggot like many kids. I wrote theose when deeply depressed. I sit down, and just keep typing as the words flow through me. thats the best way i can explain it i guess.

ill be sure to post newer things as i write them.

thanks to everyone for their input.