The boy in dimblewood. Part 1

[weirdoo]

If you want part 2, just ask
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Once upon a time, there was a little boy who lived in DimbleWood. He recently finished his school for today, so he is was his way home to his mom. However his father won't be there, because the boy doesn't know who his father is for he never was there. Even when the boy was under birth his father wasn't there. The boy was still in his classroom, waiting 5 minutes until the school is finally finished, as the 5 minutes wait was finally over, he walks towards home. On his way home, a fierce white tiger jumps right in front of him and brawl a mighty rawer. The boy however isn't scared, instead he says "Thigar, not today, today at school wasn't fun" Thigar then sits besides the boy and replies "what's wrong Beyer?" with a little sigh and a scratch on the forehead he said "I've been wondering how my father is, my mom speaks about him of how noble he is and good he is towards other people. Yet she she never asks me if I want to visit him" Thigar then stood up and offered the boy to sit on his back on the rest of the way home, which Beyer accepted. After walking for a while, Thigar said "Beyer sometimes a mom can speak of the father to comfort her own son or daughter to let them know how he is, but never let them visit they're fathers" "why is that?" Beyer asked with a confused voice. "So that they're children will know what kind of man he is, to comfort them at night so that they won't linger in bed wondering how they are." "So she's protecting me?" Beyer asked, "Correct" Thigar said with a smile.

"So Beyer, do you want to visit the Glacier Mirrors?" "No thanks" Beyer replied with a smile "Mom is cooking my favorite today" Beyer said with a cheerful voice. "mmm, is it chicken breast with rabbit belly?" Thigar asked "mhm, also with deer leg!" Thigar's belly then starts to rumble, "you know Beyer, did you know that-" "Sorry Thigar, mom still doesn't fully trust you" a little laughter came out when he said the tiger's name. "Beyer why doesn't you're mom trust me yet?" Beyer scratches Thigar's ear to make him a little happier before he replies, "Well firstly, you killed our cat" "as I said Beyer" Thigar quickly interrupted "I was very hungry that day and the cat just came in the way" "AND secondly" Beyer said with a firm voice "you have paws larger than mine with claws that can mortally wound any animals out there." Thigar had to interrupt again with a proud voice "these paws are a Tigers pride! And my claws are far more dangerous than you might think! Thank you" Beyer then holds his hand in front of Thigar's mouth to notify he isn't done "and lastly, when I and my mom were sleeping, you snuck in to our house, and wanted to wake my mom up than me first so that she could prepare breakfast for me, so you open her door to her bedroom, walk in. Breathe heavily on her and once she woke up, you said 'morning' do you know ho-"Thigar again interrupted him "Do you know how much my ears hurt that day, I swear. That shriek could scare an ogre"

After a little while walking, they finally arrived at home. Beyer mounted off Thigar's back and ran towards his mom's house; he opened the door and shouted: "We're home!" Beyer shouted with joy, Thigar could smell the dinner that his mom made and makes a very oh sound and his belly rumbles, Beyer points at the window, to give Thigar a signal that he will try to make his mom throw out some food. Beyer runs to the door opens it and greets mom with a loud "i'm home!" Beyer's mom came up from the basement to greet him with a hug and asked "how was your day today?" Not wanting to tell her how it really has been, he decides to lie. So he tells her that his day has just been a regular day, spending times with his friends. His English teacher, again, forgot that he is also the math teacher, the usual. So with the dinner served, he tastes it and he taste that something that is new to both of the chicken breast and the rabbit belly, she replies "you might notice something new today Beyer, today I had time to run to the city and buy some spices, the special ones you like" with joy, Beyer replied "My special spice? How long will this lasts until this one runs out?" his mother is full aware that the spices are going to run out sometime later on and it takes a while before she can buy new ones. So she just replies "don't worry dear, I've bought enough for it to last a very long time" but outside hearing this, there is a very hungry white tiger who's belly is rumbling and spit running out of his mouth, due to the delicious smell that comes out of the window.

However Thigar had no other option to hope she throws something out, in the meantime inside, while Beyer was enjoying his food. He asked his mom if Thigar could come in and eat, upon hearing this, Thigar told himself "great fish again today" but an unexpected answer came from Beyer's mom this time "you have always talked about this tiger, this 'Thigar' so I've been thinking. I can give him another chance" this made Beyer very happy of course, so Beyer went to the door and opened it, and was greeting with very hungry eyes. Thigar was sitting and waited for Beyer to welcome him in, "You can finally, again, come in, Thigar" "thank you" Thigar replied with a smile, when Thigar entered there was already roasted boar on the floor, Thigar's reply was a very long "oohoh" the mother then spices it and says to him "my son has told me a lot about you, if he trusts you. Then I should too" Rest of the night was a splendid time, all 3 ate and shared stories and even made some up.

Later on for Beyer, it was bed time for him. Beyer's mom puts him to bed and tucks him in Later on, Beyer wakes up and hears Thigar and his mom talking, he decided to stay put and hear them converse, but then he heard Thigar speak of something that really shocked him, Thigar asked "does Beyer know about his father's identity?" with a deep breath, she replied "no, not yet, he has asked of him a lot this month Have you said anything to him?" "No, I think if he knew his father's identity right now may cause his body to react magically to it, for you and I both know he is not ready to wield this rare ability" "I agree" she turns and looks at Beyer "a boy like him shouldn't have such a thing in the first place I think of it as a curse rather than a gift" "As do I Eve, as do I" he yawns after this, "Thigar, what do you think will to him if he manages to harness it" Thigar closes his eyes bows his head down and thinks for a moment before he answers: "No doubt, even the most supreme Warlocks will seek him out to teach him how to use it, good or evil. However, I fear that Zhar himself will kidnap him, and then use him to control his abilities for evil. The thought of the devastation would be catastrophic." He then yawns and stretches "I'm tired now; we'll discuss this another time" Beyer's mom agrees and goes to bed. Beyer who is still awake waited few hours before leaving to the library for some answers, for during those hours he was wondering of who he is and what abilities he possesses. So silently he leaves the bed and preps some food and water for his back package, for the road to the library is long, for it is located in the Capital. When he finally finished, he silently left home and took the right road in the fork of the road. In which he we travel even longer than it takes to get to school. To be Continued

[Ass-Crumb]

Pretty original and interesting, but the biggest problem is that the spacing is terrible. While it's better than average so far it's still pretty large chunks of text that should be broken up imho. Makes it a bit hard to read.

Other than that an alright read.

[weirdoo]

At 1/27/10 05:27 AM, Ass-Crumb wrote: Pretty original and interesting, but the biggest problem is that the spacing is terrible. While it's better than average so far it's still pretty large chunks of text that should be broken up imho. Makes it a bit hard to read.

Other than that an alright read.

Kk, thanks for the critism ;D i'll remember it if part 2 ever arrives