My dad scared me with lies

[Zoraxe7]

When I was little, he once told me that if i was ever bad the gypsies would come and get me. and I had to be careful when outside my house because of the "Indians living in the forest".

He (and his friend) also once told me when camping that if I were to ever eat a wild mushroom that the spores of the mushroom will grow inside of me and I would die by choking and vomiting from the hundreds of mushrooms growing in my stomach and lungs.

I never liked mushrooms anyway.

[Gobblemeister]

My dad raped me

[Hellian00]

My dad was a horse.

[Conal]

Well, they tell you these things when you're young. If he lies about something more serious at your maturer age then you should confront him about it.

At 1/3/10 06:40 PM, Gobblemeister wrote: My dad raped me

No matter what, none of you will have a better first reply than this.

[Grizzli]

At 1/3/10 06:40 PM, Gobblemeister wrote: My dad raped me

Epic thread kill.

[ArbitraryAbsurdity]

At 1/3/10 06:41 PM, Hellian00 wrote: My dad was a horse.

uh... that means your mother... did that.

eww....

[GlebGuy]

I raped my dad.

[Lost-Chances]

My dad always told me my little brother ran away from home. He ran away and the cops can't find him anywhere; but I went down into the basement late one night, looking for dinner when I found a sack. Inside was just some rotting meat and...His bandanna...My brother's bandanna....

I put it back, and the next morning we had ice-cream for breakfast and it was real yummy! I had totally forget about it until last night when a vision, softly creeping, planted a seed while I was sleeping; and the vision, that was planted in my brain, still remains.

Within the sound, of silence. In the basement.

[Timmy]

My friend's mom had her believing all the way up til highschool that Jackalopes were actually real and lived in the midwest.

One day she was arguing with her classmates about their existence and was finally convinced that they were fictional. After being teased mercilessly.

[Gobblemeister]

when a vision, softly creeping, planted a seed while I was sleeping; and the vision, that was planted in my brain, still remains.

Within the sound, of silence. In the basement.

Simon and Garfunkel reference

That song is kickass

Neon signs sure are controversial

[formulario]

all of our dad scared us with lies mine told me if i was bad the chupacraba was gona eat me

[DillePickle]

My dad was a horse who raped me.

[Reincarnate]

think thats bad? how about having your father touch a light-socket and pretending to get electrocuted in front of you? I was 2!

the sick bastard...

[mariomusicmaker1]

At 1/3/10 06:41 PM, Hellian00 wrote: My dad was a horse.

Your mom was a zoophile,

[Gobblemeister]

At 1/3/10 07:47 PM, mariomusicmaker1 wrote:

At 1/3/10 06:41 PM, Hellian00 wrote: My dad was a horse.

Your mom was a zoophile,

It's not her fault no man could satisfy her

That no man could look into her eyes and make her feel important

That no man was there for her in her times of trouble

That it was the horse, not a man, who shouldered her upon his back when she was tired, or offered himself to shelter her from rain

Besides, his cock was huge

[llamamessanger]

At 1/3/10 06:41 PM, Hellian00 wrote: My dad was a horse.

Huh... And there was me thinking bestiality was illegal...

[bl00db47h]

At 1/3/10 06:39 PM, Zoraxe7 wrote: He (and his friend) also once told me when camping that if I were to ever eat a wild mushroom that the spores of the mushroom will grow inside of me and I would die by choking and vomiting from the hundreds of mushrooms growing in my stomach and lungs.

I like your dad.

[CapnRyan]

At 1/3/10 06:41 PM, Hellian00 wrote: My dad was a horse.

You are more gullable than the guy who started this thread.

[tweekee]

At 1/3/10 08:18 PM, Saint-Jesus wrote:

At 1/3/10 06:41 PM, Hellian00 wrote: My dad was a horse.

You are more gullable than the guy who started this thread.

And apparently you can't understand the concept of a joke, so we're equal.

[TheThirdSix]

At first glance, I thought the title was "My Dad Scared Me With Flies."

I was disappointed.

[MilestoneRazor]

At 1/3/10 06:48 PM, Lost-Chances wrote:

when a vision, softly creeping, planted a seed while I was sleeping; and the vision, that was planted in my brain, still remains.

Within the sound, of silence. In the basement.

I see what you did thar

[Chronamut]

ahh I love threads like these :P

[HeroDan]

At 1/3/10 06:40 PM, Gobblemeister wrote: My dad raped me

Not funny. Pedophilia, incest and rape are serious crimes

[teknoZombi]

At 1/3/10 06:43 PM, Grundor wrote: Your Dad seems like a pretty cool guy.

which dad? the one who said shrooms were bad or the one that raped gobblemiester?

[AnonymousAlchemist]

Thats what parents do. They lie to make you behave. Remember how you used to love Santa Claus? They told you about him so you would behave. Some people make a point to say "Remember kids; when your parents tell you the truth about Santa, remember everything they told you about Jesus." Implying that he's just an imaginary person as well.

I am making no comment for or against the previous statement, and I do not want to make this into a religious flame war. I was merely commenting on what some people say. You may disagree, and that is fine. This is America, and as such, the First Amendment protects everyone's freedom of speech. But please, lets not turn this thread into a useless religious thread. There are far more of those in the BBS graveyard than there need to be.

[BiZZaRoTomFulp]

I was also warned against gypsies. Never heard of the Indians in the woods though. That's awesome.

[Jackdabomb]

But what's sadder is, that the truth is much scarier...

just kidding your dads a douchebag

[Letiger]

At 1/3/10 06:40 PM, Gobblemeister wrote: My dad raped me

And that's the first reply we get!

[Concocktion]

Did you ever read about the things Tom Fulp's dad did in that Biography..?

You got off lucky.

[cheesebizkit]

me dad fucked me