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Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce

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FUNKbrs
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Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 13:58:46 Reply

I hate children. I really do. You see, the children are our future, and frankly, that's fucking depressing.

I don't think I'm alone in being seriously bothered by the idea of my elderly incontinence being dealt with by some fruity weabo, and frankly, I think any straight man would be.

But you see, children, yes, even children, are good with barbecue sauce. Just fry one up, bake on a glaze of Corky's (local memphis stuff. Makes Jews and Muslims cry), and enjoy.

Now, I know that sounds strange, enjoying children, but believe me, it's much better than listening to them cry and scream all day.

But what about yip dogs, and the elderly? Why, even the oldest, bitchiest granny can be rendered succulent by a slow roast over wood coals and a healthy dollop of the sweet warm red stuff. And then after you give them a fresh coat of blood, you can put some Corky's on there, too.

Even veggies, yes, even food that doesn't suffer flavortastic pain before you eat it, can be rendered glompworthy with a light covering of Barbecue sauce.

A lot of people wonder why Memphians seem to wallow in our grinding poverty, and they wonder why we don't kill ourselves or move to a place where the populace has a literacy rate greater than 50%, and the truth is that it's no so bad.... with a little barbecue sauce.


My band Sin City ScoundrelsOur song Vixen of Doom
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Because 2,000 years of "For God so loved the world" doesn't trump 1.2 million years of "Survival of the Fittest."

Kanon
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 14:00:18 Reply

Have you ever tried ramen with barbeque sauce, and mixed vegetables? It's orgasmic!


PSN: Tysonizer, Best Thread of 2012.

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Peaceblossom
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 14:00:45 Reply

I personally like it in my Coffee.


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GuyForks
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 14:01:00 Reply

Hot Chilli is better.


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fuzzies
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 14:02:33 Reply

I like it ALL OVER MY BODY. OHJ GOD


I lurk these forums like a fat kid lurks cake.

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Rad
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 14:03:29 Reply

Ranch dressing is the king of all sauces. ALL OF THEM.


First blood! First topic of 2010!
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Luke
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 14:08:33 Reply

I prefer to pour beer all over my food, but barbecue sauce is the next best thing.


Yeah, whatever.
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Grizzli
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 14:10:12 Reply

Next time you make meatballs, cook them in a big pot of barbecue sauce. Its SO delicious!


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EJR
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 14:12:25 Reply

Barbecue sauce is good.

I know someone who always takes two little cups of barbecue sauce. One for his food (that often does NOT normally go with that kind of sauce) and one to dip his fingers in so that he could suck it off.

He's actually mentally retarded though... and fat, but he's cool.

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FUNKbrs
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 15:50:38 Reply

At 12/12/09 02:03 PM, TheRadicalOne wrote: Ranch dressing is the king of all sauces. ALL OF THEM.

All ranch dressing is good for is quenching the fire in my mouth that is formed by good sweet hot barbecue sauce.


My band Sin City ScoundrelsOur song Vixen of Doom
HATE.
Because 2,000 years of "For God so loved the world" doesn't trump 1.2 million years of "Survival of the Fittest."

DraGoN-RaGe-9001
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 15:52:45 Reply

i dont know man...ranch dressing works well with almost anything too.

FUNKbrs
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 19:08:09 Reply

At 12/12/09 04:03 PM, HecticCircleCrap wrote: BBQ Sauce is just Molasses with other stuff.

Yeah, and music is just people playing instruments.


My band Sin City ScoundrelsOur song Vixen of Doom
HATE.
Because 2,000 years of "For God so loved the world" doesn't trump 1.2 million years of "Survival of the Fittest."

Porkchop
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 19:11:48 Reply

This is a thread I can wholeheartedly agree with.


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Conspiracy3
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 19:22:47 Reply

Funk, I was just about to get over you, but this thread reminded me once more of how much I love you.

JKMonkey
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 19:33:07 Reply

Everything goes good with BBQ sauce, like Ice Cream, Milk, and even Beer!


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Bovineoverlord
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 19:40:15 Reply

Screw icing, I want a birthday cake smothered in BBQ sauce!


Every thread I touch, dies.

95688kage
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 19:41:55 Reply

This is the truest thread evar.


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MrPercie
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 19:45:57 Reply

At 12/12/09 07:40 PM, Bovineoverlord wrote: Screw icing, I want a birthday cake smothered in BBQ sauce!

Steak cake? that would be sweet.


my love of material goods is far greater than my love of food

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PikaRobo
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 19:46:58 Reply

I hate barbecue sauce!


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Drake
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Response to Everythings good w/ barbecue sauce 2009-12-12 20:07:30 Reply

I agree wholeheartedly with FUNK, barbecue sauce is bad-ass.


ceb @ twitter | Jerkcity, est. 1998 | Tateos is a cool guy.

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