Need some serious family advice

[backup]

I know a lot of you won't take this seriously, but I know there are some people around here who can offer some advice.

Anyway, I would say I have a dysfunctional family. I live with my dad, my step-mom, and my step-sister. Over the past couple years, things have been getting out of control. Basically, my step-sister is out of control and has no respect for anyone else at all. She is 16 (as I am) and she is constantly doing drugs, having sex, and being very vicious to everyone in general. It is because of her the family is falling apart. She constantly rebels against everything the parents say. She will curse at them and run her mouth as well as sometimes get physical. So she just does what she wants, when she wants.

The reason why this is such a problem is because my step-mom refuses to punish her. She has given up and thinks there is nothing that can be done. When my dad tries to intervene, she gets extremely angry at him and tells him he can't. This of course creates large amounts of tension.

This leads to my step-mom saying stuff to me to get back at my dad. She constantly tells me how much she hates me and she wishes I would die. She constantly tells me to go live with my mom. I do nothing disrespectful at all to either of my parents, never get in trouble, and always do as I'm told. But she can't accept the problems her own daughter has so she goes after me.

So somewhat recently, my step-mom has been sort of going crazy. She threatens to call the police and make up a story to get my dad arrested because she wants him out of the house. Obviously, he pays for part of the house and doesn't really have anywhere to go, so he has a right to be here.

Last night, there was a big argument between everyone but myself, and my step-sister went too far with her dis-respectfulness. My dad told her to go to her room, she didn't, so he used physical force to drag her in there. Now, he did not hit her or anything, he just forced her in there, which is perfectly legal. My step-mom jumped on his back and began assaulting him while my step-sister was also taking swings at him. Obviously, in self-defense, he had to get a little more forceful to get them off, which led to bruises. Again, he did not punch them or anything, but he had to throw them off himself which I guess hurt them.

So after the ordeal, my step-mom calls the police. They begin lying about what happened. Fortunately, the cop believed my dad.

So it is today, and tomorrow I'm going with my dad to look for an apartment.

However, I still have a lot of anger about the issues. It was because of this dysfunctional family and my step-sister that has caused me so much depression and anger over the years, but I keep it inside. I don't think it's healthy, but I don't know what to do.

I ask, does anyone have advice who may be in a similar situation?

[zalecot]

You are in a very unfortunate situation, I'm sorry but I am not sure what you should fo but I wish you best of luck

[backup]

At 12/3/09 07:11 PM, Clock-Ninja wrote: Hmm my life is shit and I want to kill myself, what do I do? I know!

I'll post all my cool story bro troubles on newgrounds and hope to get some useful advice!

When did I ever say I want to kill myself? I was simply seeing if anyone else is in a similar situation and wanted to know what they do...

[Tobi]

I kinda don't know. Your father seems to be the only sensible person. Your sister may have to learn the sins of her actions the hard way (no pun). As for your mother, well I don't know. Have a talk with her I guess. If that doesn't work, there is little hope.

[Ranchero]

I don't really know what to give advice on. While reading it I kept thinking you and your dad should get the hell out of there, which I guess you guys are doing. The only real advice to give is your dad should put more thought into choosing a mate (easier said than done I know)
If you want advice on anger issues I think all you can really do is be concious of why you are so angry about things and when you feel yourself getting frustrated/depressed remind yourself that it isn't you but your fucked up step-family and that you don't have to deal with them anymore. Also try smoking weed, it works wonders!

[gamekillereater]

If you're old enough, leave.
If you're too young, but it gets way too big for you to handle, try to get in a foster-home.
If you're too young, but you can handle it, just wait, maybe it improves over time.

And try to talk to them or something.

[wildface098]

there's only one answer... kill them

nuff said...

[MissSkylark]

It kinda sounds like you just really need to vent more than anything. It's really good that you and your father are moving out and getting away from those toxic people. However, their abusive behavior has left some marks that you have to deal with. Therapy is always an option if you feel like you need it, but there are other ways you can vent to get through the recovery process.

If anything, the best you can do at the moment is surround yourself with the positive now that you are out of a negative environment. Do things that you enjoy so that your mind can be off the stress of the prior dysfunctional family life. If you really feel like you need to talk to someone about what's going on in your head, find someone that you really trust to just talk things through with. The stress should start going away now that you have separated yourselves from the sources of the stress (but they can always follow, prepare for that). I don't really know what to tell you beyond that. Just try to get yourself back into a pattern of enjoying the things around you so that you can be happy with life again.

I wish you the best of luck, though.

[HighWay]

Kick her out and make her live on her own. Then she'll come crying home like the little baby she is.

[Synnxile]

well this sounds like what it's like at my dad's house, and somewhat what it used to be like when I lived at my mom's house. I can only give you the advice I'm going to do, move away. I plan on leaving to California, to get far away from this place. I live in n.c.

If you're too young, All i can say is to just not intervene in the conflict. When something is starting to brew up in the big bowl of violence soup, get the hell out. Go for a walk. Go somewhere you can relax for a while. If anybody asks you why you're leaving don't answer, just keep walking man..

Come back at a time you think is suitable for you.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Wait until your step-sister and step-mom are gone, then you and your father can take everything they own and put it outside. Lock all the entrances and put up a NO TRESSPASSING sign. That should get the message across.

[Kiryuku]

Just find a new home with you dad and move there. You should probably stay in a hotel or something until them because I wouldn't wanna stay there if you can't find an apartment right away. As for the anger, just talk to someone about it. Find a good friend, adult, or even your Dad and just vent about all your troubles. Thats my advice, hope it gets better for you, and stay positive.

[MichaelJ]

I say you should just chill with your dad for a while, after all, time heals all wounds. Eventually your step-mom will come to her senses. Your step-sister however, needs help. If you really want to help her, talk to your dad about contacting a counselor. Make sure to explain everything to him, and leave nothing out. Don't worry, it might feel akward.

Anyways, you are not the only one with a family problem, my family was just spread all over the place to the point where my mom and dad were trying to make me choose between each other, which was very hard, especially because I was young. I actually had to witness a physical fight between my parents and step parents. One of them almost died.

You just need to remember, don't hate anyone in your family for what they have done. Try and trace their anger back to the source. (Why is your stem mom so mad all the time? ; Why does your sister do these things?)

Also, remember that no matter how bad it gets, someone else out there has it worse. Feel free to PM me. I am easy to talk to, I am only 13 after all.