Forum Topic: Heretical Apostacy.

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FUNKbrs

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Posted at: 11/10/09 11:25 PM

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I just won at religion.

Heretical Apostates, besides being ALLOWED to be giant hypocrites, pretty much get to pick and choose whatever they want to believe. About anything.

Oh, and it's the most subversive of all religions. Basically it's going to church simply to fuck it up and bastardize it for everyone else.

Plus, it sounds cool as shit.

Fuck atheism.

HATE.
Because 2,000 years of "For God so loved the world" doesn't trump 1.2 million years of "Survival of the Fittest."


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HighWayStar365

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Posted at: 11/10/09 11:26 PM

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What about morals, funk? Don't you need those to have a religion?

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Sh0T-D0wN

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Posted at: 11/10/09 11:28 PM

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At 11/10/09 11:26 PM, HighWayStar365 wrote: What about morals, funk? Don't you need those to have a religion?

Not if having morals goes against your religion.

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oddzooka

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Posted at: 11/10/09 11:29 PM

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At 11/10/09 11:28 PM, Sh0T-D0wN wrote:
At 11/10/09 11:26 PM, HighWayStar365 wrote: What about morals, funk? Don't you need those to have a religion?
Not if having morals goes against your religion.

sounds like a good idea.

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Robotchk12

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Posted at: 11/10/09 11:29 PM

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It fits you.
You didn't even have to browse the rest of the store!

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knightsofthecircle

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Posted at: 11/10/09 11:31 PM

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It's simple logic in this: If you were working for Hitler in Nazi Germany, but you hated everything about him, wouldn't you want to give the middle finger to him instead of the Jews, despite the punishment?

Of course, dumbass.

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jarrydn

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Posted at: 11/11/09 12:25 AM

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I prefer apathetic agnosticism :]

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scottmale24

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Posted at: 11/11/09 12:28 AM

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At 11/11/09 12:25 AM, jarrydn wrote: I prefer apathetic agnosticism :]

I like Apatheism. They're close.

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EpicFail

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Posted at: 11/11/09 12:28 AM

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I still like my religion. Although I kind of like buddhism too. I think Heretical Apostacy is kind of neat, but... It's a tough choice... I sort of have beliefs in Buddhism and Satanism.

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jarrydn

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Posted at: 11/11/09 12:34 AM

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At 11/11/09 12:28 AM, scottmale24 wrote:
At 11/11/09 12:25 AM, jarrydn wrote: I prefer apathetic agnosticism :]
I like Apatheism. They're close.

More or less the same thing :). Pretty much the best anti-belief system ever :P

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FUNKbrs

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Posted at: 11/11/09 12:35 AM

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At 11/11/09 12:25 AM, jarrydn wrote: I prefer apathetic agnosticism :]

That's just laziness.

For example, as a heretical apostate I believe that since god gave me genitals AND hands, he must want me to masturbate.

By the same token, I get to believe everyone I hate is going to rot in hell.

Conversely, however, I don't have to be a good person to go to heaven.

Oh, and in my heaven? Strippers.

Damn my religion rocks.

HATE.
Because 2,000 years of "For God so loved the world" doesn't trump 1.2 million years of "Survival of the Fittest."


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Me-Patch

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Posted at: 11/11/09 12:35 AM

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I'm an extremely lapsed Catholic. I went to Catholic school too so I know all the rules, people don't know shit about their own religion half the time?

"The strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must." - Thucydides

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EvilerBowser1001

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Posted at: 11/11/09 12:35 AM

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I gotta say that this is pretty much the only faith that sounds like a Death Metal song.

My computer's breaking down, so nope.
"Most people think they're thinking, when in fact, they're just rearranging their prejudices."- William James

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jarrydn

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Posted at: 11/11/09 12:40 AM

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At 11/11/09 12:35 AM, FUNKbrs wrote: That's just laziness.

Nah. Well a bit.

For example, as a heretical apostate I believe that since god gave me genitals AND hands, he must want me to masturbate.

By the same token, I get to believe everyone I hate is going to rot in hell.

Conversely, however, I don't have to be a good person to go to heaven.

Oh, and in my heaven? Strippers.

Damn my religion rocks.

You sound like a twisted, amoralistic existentialist :P

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FUNKbrs

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Posted at: 11/11/09 12:43 AM

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At 11/11/09 12:35 AM, EvilerBowser1001 wrote: I gotta say that this is pretty much the only faith that sounds like a Death Metal song.

Satanists are all butthurt ex-christians. Atheists and nihilists don't actually believe in anything, so their beliefs aren't nearly as fun in practice as they are on paper.

As a heretical apostate, though, I get to drink free sacramental wine from the church AND go home and sacrifice a goat, without any conflict whatsoever.

I don't have to tithe, I get to believe that god will forgive me of all my sins, so I get to do whatever I want, hell, I don't even have to go to church if I don't feel like it.

It's the best of all worlds, really.

And if someone calls me a hypocrite, I can just point out that since I'm a heretical apostate, they can suck the puss from my fat ass pimples.

HATE.
Because 2,000 years of "For God so loved the world" doesn't trump 1.2 million years of "Survival of the Fittest."


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Gagsy

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Posted at: 11/11/09 12:44 AM

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But I can't say that properly. I can say athiest right though.

Did your life flash before your eyes?
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FUNKbrs

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Posted at: 11/11/09 12:47 AM

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At 11/11/09 12:44 AM, Gagsy wrote: But I can't say that properly. I can say athiest right though.

Take the dick out of your mouth and try again.

sorry. Couldn't help myself on that one.

HATE.
Because 2,000 years of "For God so loved the world" doesn't trump 1.2 million years of "Survival of the Fittest."


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Gagsy

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Posted at: 11/11/09 12:48 AM

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At 11/11/09 12:47 AM, FUNKbrs wrote:
Take the dick out of your mouth and try again.

sorry. Couldn't help myself on that one.

:(.

Did your life flash before your eyes?
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FUNKbrs

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Posted at: 11/11/09 12:52 AM

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At 11/11/09 12:48 AM, Gagsy wrote:
(.

The beauty of being a heretical apostate is that I don't even feel guilty for that.

But seriously, doesn't "atheist" sound like someone trying to talk with a dick in their mouth?

Her: Atheist
Him: What was that honey?
Her: *pops dick out of her mouth*
Her: I said "anal sex"
Him: Not yet, you have to get more spit on it first.
Him: *shoves cock back in her mouth*

HATE.
Because 2,000 years of "For God so loved the world" doesn't trump 1.2 million years of "Survival of the Fittest."


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