Problem is, it was my friend's girlfriend.
WARNING, THE BELOW GETS INTO EXTREME DETAIL.
Okay, so I'm at the movies today, by myself. Reason being? No one else could go, one of my friends is in Florida, another has to work, etc. I'm getting ready to see Dark Knight. Everyone says its great. I'm getting my popcorn and medium Dr. Pepper when I look next to me, it's my friend Joe's girlfriend, Lilian.
Lilian is about 5'4" and she is 17. She is oriental, has a really nice face, and a blue streak in her hair. She was wearing a Paramore shirt, and regular old tight "girl jeans".
At first I was unsure, she looked at me, got excited and waved. We've met on like, 3 occasions. Those times it wasn't like just being with your friend and your friends girlfriend, it was like being with two friends. She's really nice.
She walks up to me and goes "Hey, Jamieeee!" (with the really drawn out "eeee").
"Hey, Lily!"
"What's going on!?"
"Just going to see the Dark Knight."
"Yeah, me too. Joe should be here in a few minutes."
The movie didn't air for about 20 minutes. We sat down at a table and talked for a little bit. Every few minutes she was going "Where is Joe?" to herself. After about 13 minutes, she called Joe and was like "Where the fuck are you!?"
.........
"Don't give me that bullshit!"
.........
"God, Joe. You're such a fucking prick!"
........
"Nope. I'm done, I'm done! BYE!!"
She hung up the phone and goes "He says he forgot, but I'm sure he's out doing something retarded with Ethan and Nick (two of my friends). And what kind of excuse is 'I forgot'!? At least say you're stuck in traffic or something that won't make your girlfriend upset!"
"Jeez, I'm sorry Lily."
"Its okay, I guess" She said. "He's done this on more than one occasion.
"Really?" I knew Joe was crazy about this girl.
"Yep, stupid, isn't it?"
"Yeah, haha"
"Well, if you're alone and I'm alone, why don't we sit together?"
"Sure!"
So we went to go see Batman. REALLY good, I'd recommend it to anyone. We didn't really talk the whole movie, just meaningless little statements during the previews like "That looks funny!".
As we left the movie, we talked about how good Ledger was as the Joker, how its a shame he had pass, when Lily says "SHIT, my uncle dropped me off and I was supposed to go to Joe's after this, he was supposed to drive me to his place!"
Remembering Joe was alone for a few days (probably going to sex his girlfriend up during that time), I said "Oh, I guess I could drive you there."
"Really?"
"Yeah, its no big deal"
"Thanks Jamie, you're so thoughtful!"
I didn't tell her the only reason I was offering this was because Joe had borrowed my Superbad DVD, this seemed like a good opportunity to pick it up, then leave.
The car ride home was much like the movies, we flipped on the radio on in my car and we commented on whether or not we liked the song that was on at the moment. Then, we got to Joe's place.
"It's dark, I'll walk you up." making a nonchalant offer as my true goal was to obtain Superbad.
"Thanks, Jamie" she replied.
When we entered the doorway, I made a comment about my DVD as if it had just crossed my mind. I went to get it from his DVD shelf. Then I walked back down the stairs, through the living room, into the kitchen where the door was, and I saw her there, just looking at me.
"Jamie, I want you."
"... Yes?" I said sounding like an absolute idiot, I thought she hadn't finished her sentence.
"I want to please you."
I understood what was going on now. I couldn't do this, Joe was like, my number 1 amigo.
"Uh, actually..."
"No," she replied, "Seriously"
She them pushed me into a counter (I went half willingly).
"I want to thank you for the ride home."
"N--no! It's really okay, it was nothi-"
"Shhhh" she said, "Just sit there, and relax."
I don't know what came over me, but I just did what she said. I was shocked with myself, me and Joe have been friends forever it seemed.
"I've always liked you, Jamie" she said, "More than a friend, that is". She giggled as she unzipped my fly.
I watch as she licked her lips, and started fondling my balls. Then it hit me real hard, I'm being a dishonest friend, I'm hurting my best buddy, I tried to think of anything that could help me avoid a hardon, dead puppies, naked old nuns, anything. Nothing worked, my penis was stiff after just a few seconds.
I felt her lips wrap around the tip of my penis. And suddenly everything stopped. I wasn't tense any longer, I had completely forgotten why I was nervous in the first place, the pleasure that my body was going through put me in a state of mental sedation. All was well for about 5 minutes. When I heard a jingling of the doorknob.
Shit, it was Joe.
I realized that we were right outside of the front door, why was I doing this? Why was I essentially cheating on my best friend? I tried to signal that there was trouble, and pull away. It was too late. Joe was standing there, mouth agape and nothing but shock and horror in his eyes.
"Joe!" Lily yelled.
"Man, it isn't what it looks like!" I said to Joe, but he just ignored what I said, walked over to Lily, and backhanded her. I cringed as I watched her fall.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!? WHY ARE YOU CHEATING!? WHAT IS THIS SHIT GOING ON WITH JAMIE!? HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON" He was furious, I saw tears going down his cheeks.
Lilian was also crying "I..I don't know! Maybe if you were more reliable none of this would have happened!"
"YOU HORRIBLE BITCH! I DON'T KNOW WHY I DESERVE THIS!" He was talking nonsensical shit by now, tears flowing down his face. He calmed down for a second, and looked at me.
"YOU!"
"D--dude I'm so sorry, it was just tonight!"
"YOU BROKE OUR FRIENDSHIP, MAN."
I was unsure how to answer this. I did. I broke a great friendship with a great guy.
"I really did, man. I'm so sorry, if you could ever forgive me..."
"You know what, I will" He said, his voice calming down more with every breath. I was shocked, why would he forgive me for the biggest of all friendship breakers?
"...What?"
"I forgive you, it's all right, you wanna know why?"
"Why?"
"Because I'm eating Reese's for breakfast"
I stood there, amazed at his statement. Reese's, as in Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, right? You can't eat candy for breakfast! Even if you are home alone, that is ludicrous!
I simply questioned "C'mon, candy? For breakfast?"
"No, Jamie! Reese's Puffs Cereal!" He reached into his pantry and grabbed the Orange box. "Try a bowl!"
I grabbed a spoon and a bowl from his cabinets, stepping over the sobbing Asian on the floor, and poured myself a bowl of this mystery. A splash of milk on top, and one bite later, I was hooked. There was a party in my mouth, and chocolate and peanut butter were the life of the party.
So I guess the final question is, do you like Reese's Puffs?
