Forum Topic: Where do babies come from?

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InnerChild548

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Posted at: 11/3/09 09:32 PM

InnerChild548 FAB LEVEL 23

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Yes, it is the question that has bewildered biologists for centuries. Where do babies come from? For years now I have put forth extensive research to reveal the truth. Unfortunately, my query has return little results. Allow me to retell my repudiated theories.

I first put thought into the common idea that babies are delivered by the drawn-out, muscular bill of the white stork, otherwise known as Ciconia ciconia. My hypothesis for this was simple; perhaps stork's uses its keen sense of humidity and aromatic detection derived from its snavel. Used to locate areas distressed infants. Then infer the babies' genetic code through certain navel cavities constricted between the stork's arffilaries, which may be able to detect certain proteins indigenous to specific paternal and maternal givers needed for that infants condition and body. Then using it powerful wing structure and previously stated acute sense of smell, locate to the parents designated by the bird. Any bird within an estimated 200 mile (321 kilometers) radius would take this duty of natural preservation. But alas, my research had proved this spurious.

My second theory was that possibly a human baby was formed when a male and female of the respected species engage lips (Labium inferius) to form what is known to humans as a "kiss". The idea was that chromosomatic saliva would be transferred. Male genetic code would be infused with female genetic code, creating a molecular compound called seclaious. When the compound accumulates it transforms into the visible goo-like material which contains DNA. The seclaious slips though the female esophagus and then settle in the lower part of the stomach called the nipidemous. The seclaious settles and is restructure by the stomach acids. Gradually, the baby is formed. When this premature stage grows too large it moves from the nipidemous into the main proportion of the stomach. This process can sped or retarded depending on how much stomach acid the female produces. Once the infant has matured to its fullest state, the female will then begin to regurgitate the baby. Thusly, the baby is made. This is basis of mine has also been refuted.

At this point I was completely befuddled. Where do babies come from? I had one last thesis. Babies fall from the sky... OK, now that's just absurd.

Here I am Newgrounds, asking you, where do babies come from?

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TailsPrower

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Posted at: 11/3/09 09:36 PM

TailsPrower LIGHT LEVEL 16

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Fucking easter bunny.

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OneGunn

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Posted at: 11/3/09 09:37 PM

OneGunn DARK LEVEL 12

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Southside obviously.


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Sizzlebuzz

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Posted at: 11/3/09 09:45 PM

Sizzlebuzz LIGHT LEVEL 09

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At 11/3/09 09:40 PM, Skwurll wrote: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex

There ya go...

A saw a picture of a sperm and an egg. Then a mushroom on a log. Then fish. I am so confused.


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SoulPiker

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Posted at: 11/3/09 09:46 PM

SoulPiker DARK LEVEL 26

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A dick in a pussy.

You are now breathing manually. You are now aware of your posture. You can now feel your clothes on your body. You now itch in various places.


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InnerChild548

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Posted at: 11/3/09 09:55 PM

InnerChild548 FAB LEVEL 23

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At 11/3/09 09:46 PM, SoulPiker wrote: A dick in a pussy.

Illogical.

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Evark

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Posted at: 11/3/09 09:56 PM

Evark LIGHT LEVEL 44

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Why do you think they call it 'coming'?

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XxPoppinfreshxX

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Posted at: 11/3/09 10:03 PM

XxPoppinfreshxX LIGHT LEVEL 05

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At 11/3/09 09:45 PM, Sizzlebuzz wrote: A saw a picture of a sperm and an egg. Then a mushroom on a log. Then fish. I am so confused.

And pinecones for some reason.

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Whips and Chains Excite Me.

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TheStonePilot

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Posted at: 11/3/09 10:04 PM

TheStonePilot FAB LEVEL 05

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BABIES COME FROM SATAN, Y'ALL

DUH!

notallcaps, BITCH.

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cATbYtE

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Posted at: 11/3/09 10:05 PM

cATbYtE EVIL LEVEL 09

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From the Cabbage Patch

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95wave

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Posted at: 11/3/09 10:15 PM

95wave LIGHT LEVEL 24

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well since it would be to expensive for them to come from anywhere besides the earth, that narrows down are location


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thatoneguyfromDD

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Posted at: 11/3/09 10:16 PM

thatoneguyfromDD DARK LEVEL 13

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I always thought they came from womenfolk's anuses

yellow yellow, was her hair
orange sunburst, red-hot glare

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NaTe32123

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Posted at: 11/3/09 10:22 PM

NaTe32123 NEUTRAL LEVEL 08

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The answer to all of your questions.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?


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95wave

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Posted at: 11/3/09 10:25 PM

95wave LIGHT LEVEL 24

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At 11/3/09 09:46 PM, SoulPiker wrote: A dick in a pussy.

why would you stick that in a cat?


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Mostasteless

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Posted at: 11/3/09 10:26 PM

Mostasteless EVIL LEVEL 05

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Posts: 370

sweetie, you and me are gonna make the baby.

Where do babies come from?


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slayer1029

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Posted at: 11/3/09 10:26 PM

slayer1029 NEUTRAL LEVEL 01

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Well you know that stuff that comes from your penis when you stroke it like a walrus? Thats concentrated baby juice. Women are filled with enzymes that physically bond this juice to their bodies, so that these growths can start sharing their life force. 9 months later the body realizes theres a vaginal parasite, and evicts the bastard. Im 5% sure this is how its done.


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CBLStaffer

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Posted at: 11/3/09 10:28 PM

CBLStaffer NEUTRAL LEVEL 02

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a man and a woman fell in love, and when they do that they get excited....after a while, they goes to bed, and make a baby...and bam !

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WE ARE RICH, AND WE DON'T CARE...xD ( I Lost The Game...again )


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InnerChild548

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Posted at: 11/3/09 10:35 PM

InnerChild548 FAB LEVEL 23

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At 11/3/09 10:26 PM, slayer1029 wrote: Well you know that stuff that comes from your penis when you stroke it like a walrus? Thats concentrated baby juice. Women are filled with enzymes that physically bond this juice to their bodies, so that these growths can start sharing their life force. 9 months later the body realizes theres a vaginal parasite, and evicts the bastard.

I confirm this to scientifically accurate.

Thank you for helping me understand.

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