Getting out of a fight...

[Darmealea]

Newgrounds, I need help getting out of a fight. I am in a predicament. Some stupid pothead was talking shit behind my back. I told him to stop, no threats, no aggression, and now he wants to fight me. I can take him, but I am not at liberty to. I have to recover credits in order to graduate and if I fight him, I lose my credit recovery. I cannot snitch, I've already snitch on two people in order to keep in line to graduate, so the option has run out. I cannot run, this'll just make me look like a pussy. I cannot fight, Or I lose the chance to graduate. I cannot pin this to a friend, enemy, or third party, I want to handle this myself. He will not talk or negotiate. I can take it like a bitch, but pain isn't pleasant as we all know. Lastly, I can try and put him into a submissive hold, but that's really a matter of chance. So, I have to try and get out of this situation with:

-Snitching
-Running
-Fighting
-Negotiating
-Getting a someone else to handle it.

Halp Plez?

[XIII13]

At 11/1/09 02:54 PM, Darmealea wrote:

-Snitching
-Running
-Fighting
-Negotiating
-Getting a someone else to handle it.

Wrong. What you need to do is this:

Show up at the fight exactly 13 minutes late. This is to allow you to make a dramatic entrance. Once you arrive fashionably late, you must strut into the midde of the inevitbale ring of people, and perform manly things, such as ripping your shirt and posing. Once you and your opponent have tired of this, it is time for the masterpiece. Slowly pull your cock out, which should rock hard for maximum effect, and begin caressing it, slowly. Then proceed to masturbate furiously, untill you either cum, or the opponent leaves.

Garuntee you will not be fighting anyone that night.

[Conspiracy3]

Just go up to him and let him beat you up. Have him punch you and just stand there.

[Darmealea]

At 11/1/09 02:59 PM, XIII13 wrote: Garuntee you will not be fighting anyone that night.

I suppose i have to update my list then.

-Snitching
-Running
-Fighting
-Negotiating
-Getting a someone else to handle it.
-Or looking like a raging queer.

Sadly though, I will consider this.

[linkinpatt]

Run. Run so very far away.

[LordFerrok]

Burn his house down.

Or try fighting him out of school, where you're out of the school's jurisdiction, like i did when i was in school.

I wonder if he did ever get lis left retina re-attached...

But really, the best way is to either make sure you're near some kind of authority figure or a large group of friends. Stoner kids may be stupid, but they arent usually that stupid.

Unless your name is Joe Moores. Goddamn I hated that guy. Kicked his ass though. Those were the days...

[Darmealea]

I can't be by an authority figure all the time. Plus this kid is on my bus, and in all my classes. PLus, he'd bring friends if we fought outside school.

[OfficeMan]

Arrive to the fight naked, He wont touch you.

[Canas]

What the fuck kind of mutant pothead are you dealing with that wants to fight?

[blazer133]

Just tell him if your not there, just start without you.

[Porkchop]

At 11/1/09 03:07 PM, Darmealea wrote: I can't be by an authority figure all the time. Plus this kid is on my bus, and in all my classes. PLus, he'd bring friends if we fought outside school.

Who cares, bring your own mates then.

Really, if you're so worried about doing it in school, do it outside of it and bring homies.

[LordFerrok]

At 11/1/09 03:08 PM, Jakuma wrote: stuff

Yes, placeholder text. Very funny. I wonder who did that.

[xXShortEmoKidXx]

At 11/1/09 02:54 PM, Darmealea wrote: -Snitching

Fuck no. I'll beat your ass myself you do that.

-Running

Can't run forever.

-Fighting

DO IT BITCH!!!

-Negotiating

Maybe.

-Getting a someone else to handle it.

A group of someone else. To kick his ass.

[LynchedJohNNY]

Just show up with a blunt and be like "you down?". He'll forget all about the fight for a doobie snack.

[Synthesize]

Approach him with a bag of weed, then persuade him into buying the weed instead of fighting you.

[Darmealea]

I need GOOD suggestions, shit hits the fan as of tomorrow.

[zooos]

Let him hit you a couple times(yea that will suck) then beat his fucking face in in self defense

[TheStonePilot]

When you met, give this huge speech about how sorry you are, etc. Then reach out for a handshake. When he grabs your hand, quickly step foward and grab his forearm. Twist his hand back and down and his forearm up. Then twist his arm around. You can get anyone to their knees like that. Once he's on the ground, lock your arms around his head and pull him up in a headlock. Just hold him like that until he tires.

[LordFerrok]

Just ignore him. Competely. If he hits you first it's self defence. Throwing large rocks is ok. Wear a lot of rings so you punches have more impact.

Metal rod up the sleeve...

[RKthrilla]

At 11/1/09 03:37 PM, Darmealea wrote: I need GOOD suggestions, shit hits the fan as of tomorrow.

I still like the one where you would whip your cock out... Not gonna lie.

[TheStonePilot]

Oh yeah, and find a socket wrench (they're usually about 7 inches long) and put it in your pocket. If he breaks free, pull it out and bludgeon him around the head with it.

[Hawdcore]

Bring a self defense weapon

Usually everyone in my school has a pocket knife

[zooominsh]

Easy- Tell him where you and he can meet each other without other people and just fight !
You get nose bleed or him, whatever it will be over !

[kraor024]

At 11/1/09 03:37 PM, Darmealea wrote: I need GOOD suggestions, shit hits the fan as of tomorrow.

All the suggestions I've read have been good. MY opinion a preemptive ass beating works.

[pyromaniac616]

Dress up as a giant badger, cut out eyeholes and just stare at him. He will think he is on drugs again.

[Robotchk12]

Offer to smoke with him, but don't get high.
When he gets high, do some weird things to make him hallucinate and freak out, thus making him forget about the fight.

[Falonefal]

Bring your light saber and kill EVERYONE!

[kraor024]

At 11/1/09 03:49 PM, pyromaniac616 wrote: Dress up as a giant badger, cut out eyeholes and just stare at him. He will think he is on drugs again.

Belay that last statement.

[Elfer]

Just don't fight him. It's not particularly complicated.

[Darmealea]

At 11/1/09 03:59 PM, Elfer wrote: Just don't fight him. It's not particularly complicated.

It isn't that simple.