What exactly are these darn kids listening to these days? I have actually been left behind in the dust of music and taste and quality have seem to elude me. You now have the Black Eyed Peas song, "I Got A Feeling" listened to frequently and is considered a great song when in fact it says nothing in the song, but give people good feelings about being drunk.
So I have taken it upon myself to listen to the top 3 songs on the Billboard list. This list is made because it is the songs that people request and listen to the most out in radio, CD and other music devices. I have decided to review them to let you know exactly what I think.
In short if you don't have the time: They all fucking suck.
1. Lady GaGa-Paparazzi
Oh man I knew I'd have to run into this hermaphrodite at some point. Lady GaGa has made a name for herself in the gay community as gay are the only people I think could enjoy her songs. They all have a deep techno dance beat with lyrics that are repeated constantly. Poker Face was over hyped to death and further executed to all of us that she is a whore who likes to dress up like the transvestites near the Marriott in Las Vegas.
I watched the Paparazzi music video (wishing I didn't) and found myself oddly aroused and annoyed at the same time making GaGa on par with my ex girlfriend. The video starts off with GaGa in a mansion dedicated to everything that is GaGa. SHE EVEN HAS HER OWN PRINTED MONEY AND CUPCAKES TO BOOT!
After confessing love to the vampire Eric from True Blood Lady GaGa ends up getting pushed off of a balcony and falls to her death effectively ending her career and making our lives so much better....
Okay no, but the video starts with her biting her finger in this, "come hither" fashion as she is falling in what seems like a swirl.
What does this have to do with the paparazzi? OH! It's a dumb metaphor meaning how adorned a celebrity gets before the public throws you over the edge. OH you celebrities and your millions of dollars, you are the ones with the real pain.
What shocked me about this music video is that is sounds...different. It sounds like a normal woman singing without the addition of electronics or synthesizers. However, when that was removed in Poker Face she just sounded like Cher. So at what point is the actual GaGa voice going to appear? I'll never know because I'm not a fan.
The music video moves on to surreal as she begins to do choreography in crutches and braces looking like the robot from Metropolis. The music itself is kind of laughable and the lyrics just tell a silly message that attempts to make you feel sympathetic to the celebrity plight of being too popular.
Later on in the video (after pretty much repeating the same lyrics over and over again) she begins to molest 3 men...or women...or...I dunno. Anyway, I get the whole sexuality theme she is going for, but it seems too out there even to a guy like me.
In the end I find this song to be uneventful, boring, have idiotic lyrics and I still find Lady GaGa to be the biggest oddity to the music industry.
Maybe it's just because the gays like her so much.
2- Black Eye Peas- I Got A Feeling.
SONOFABITCH!
People are still listening to this shit fest!? I mean, I'm glad its not #1, but holy shit is this song worthless. FINE! FUCK! Let me review this bullshit.
Okay, the music starts of FINE! You think to yourself, "Hm, its sounds a bit pleasant. Maybe this will be enjoyable." Then the first line hits. He says, "I gotta a feeling...that tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good good night."
Interesting lead up, but when does the song start? Okay...he repeated the same lyric....okay he did it again....and again....OKAY now the female joins in, but you are saying the same shit. You didn't change anything. This isn't club music, this is my fucking radio. If I wanted to hear club music (I don't) I'd go to a club (I don't go to clubs). Yet, this blasts my radio a fuckton for reasons that escape me.
1 minute and 30 seconds into the song and it officially starts.
I want everyone to be clear on this. It took a 1 minute and 30 second build up for the ACTUAL song to start. It didn't really start until that far into it...I just wanted to be clear on that.
Oh to make things even better he had the audacity to rhyme "Up" with "Up" as if I wasn't going to notice that.
"Tonight's the night, lets live it up
I got my money, lets spend it up"
The music will make you jump around, but for me it was for all the wrong reasons. I assume for most people its to let go right after you down that last shot of Jager and did a Jell-o shot off the ass crack of a transient with a whore mark on her lower back. For me it was in rage that this bullshit can be considered music.
They also have fun by throwing Jewish words in there which confuse the hell out of me. Am I going to a wedding or a Bar Mitzvah? I don't think either because if either were in the music video I think I'd renounce my belief in God.
Then, to make things better, the go ahead and just name of the days of the week. Did I forget or am I supposed to get smashed every night? That's a bit irresponsible will.i.am, I mean I can party some of the time, but like most people I have things to do and bills to pay.
I also find this song to be an irresponsible catering to the nightlife/club culture that seems to be destroying some youth out there. A kind of, "You had a hard day now go out there and live it up by drinking copious amounts of liver killing liquid and regret your actions on Sunday or Monday depending on how long the hangover lasts....WOOOOOOO TONIGHTS GONNA BE A GOOD NIGHT!"
I hate this song. I hate the very idea that this song gained popularity. I hate the very movement that it has gained everywhere and into all walks of the music culture. I hate the idea that someone can stop and say, "Hey, this is good."
I'll move on to number 3 when I have cooled down...
