Last night, I was on the treadmill, running and reading a book, when this 50-some year old man who was not exactly in his prime lumbered up and got on the elliptical machine next to me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him produce a small canteen from under one of the small towels that the gym provides.
He started to open the bottle and the combination of body odor and booze hit me. The man fumbled with the bottle cap but managed to get it open, celebrating his victory with a quick gulp from the canteen.
I decided to keep an eye on this man and pray that he wasn't a mean drunk. He started running on the elliptical, but his pacing was sluggish, and his arms floppped everywhere; from the handles to the buttons on the control pad to the little cupholder where he kept his bottle.
He tripped and almost fell flat on his face had I not caught him by quickly jumping off the treadmill.
He burped in my face as I struggled to push him back up. He slurred, "thanks sonny, but I'm ok," and I smelled every syllable.
He took another gulp from his canteen, giggling as he put his pinky finger up as he drank. He got back on the elliptical and swung his legs back and forth so that his legs never went in a full rotation/step.
His burp was so loud that everyone else in the cardio center turned and looked at him. He looked back at them with his bloodshot eyes and said loudly, "it's ok, everyone, it's a bodily function," while struggling with the first syllable of "function."
He then took out his newspaper and started to read it on the elliptical. He didn't even bother to move his legs; he just stood there and read it, making loud comments about the stock market or "that stupid balloon boy in 'Corolado'"
I had had enough. I went to the front desk and ask that this man please be removed before he caused any trouble. The secretary called 911, and her assistant called out two managers to escort the man out. He didn't cause a lot of trouble, mostly because he was too inebriated to stand, let alone fight off the managers, but he did complain loudly while being taken outside to the waiting patrol car.
