50 States, 10 Reasons.

[Stoicish]

Oh America, we are a strong country, but we have so many differences depending on what state we live in. There are many states in our union, 50 to be exact, but many wonder what makes each state so great.

So, in my series, I've decided to compound 10 reasons to live in any US State. I'll do it alphabetically to make it easy.

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ALABAMA
1. Forrest Gump takes place mostly in this state
2. There is a sweet song about this state and it catchy.
3. It has a regressive tax structure and most Alabamians can't define 'regressive'.
4. If you love the south then you'll love everything about this state.
5. You'll unintentionally gain a southern drawl if you stay here more than a year.
6. The state flag Confederacy flag.
7. Montgomery was the first site of the civil right movement. It was also the first site for the capital of the Confederacy. Living in the city is like living on top of irony.
8. The Class AA Southern Baseball team is called "The Biscuits"
9. The best of most black people came from this state.
10. The worst from all white people came from this state.

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ALASKA
1. They practically pay you to live here.
2. The state is actually quite beautiful.
3. Sarah Palin isn't governor anymore.
4. That 'Deadliest Catch' show takes place near here.
5. In a hypothetical war situation between the Soviet Union and the US your state would be the first to see action.
6. Watching the weather channel would be redundant.
7. The cost of living is the second highest in the whole US.
8. If you are lucky people will confuse you for being an Eskimo.
9. A huge mountain separates Alaska from Canada.
10. Anchorage is a bearable city to live in.

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ARIZONA
1. You'll never know what humidity feels like.
2. From Meteor Crater to the Grand Canyon this state is well known for having deep plunges of doom.
3. Most people you meet work at Wal-Mart.
4. Your governor would rather work for Homeland Security than be in your state.
5. A lot of films were shot here and most of them were pretty good.
6. Steven Spielberg grew up in Scottsdale.
7. You can't walk without bumping into a cul-de-sac.
8. All people tired of living in southern California come live in your state.
9. Your state is a prime border crossing area for illegal immigrants.
10. People visiting there will assume Phoenix is cooler than it really is.

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN THE STATE OF ARKANSAS
1. Most people have to pass through this state to get to Memphis.
2. Most people living in Texarkana are from Arkansas or Texas depending on their mood.
3. You can correct everyone else that it's pronounced "Ark-can-saw".
4. Little Rock has veritable economic boom because all the businesses figured out that they don't have to pay people that much to work in them.
5. Every self proclaimed Democrat is actually just a confused Republican.
6. Wal-Mart started here.
7. Most of the country assumes that anyone running for President coming from this state will be the next Bill Clinton.
8. All black people live in the center of the state for a reason.
9. All of the Meth in the United States comes from here.
10. DUI's are so common that they have dropped a peg below misdemeanor.

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN CALIFORNIA
1. The government in San Diego has killed all the ugly people and made the entire city a beach with tits.
2. If you are a failing screenwriter or actor then chances are that you won't be alone.
3. In all the disaster movies LA is always the first city to be taken out.
4. Northern California is nice but is overly confident on how great their wine tastes.
5. Sacramento can be a small reminder to you as to why you can be glad you aren't upper middle class.
6. You can throw a rock and hit 15 Starbucks.
7. You can wake up one morning and find a wall of Hell encroaching towards your home.
8. 2003 California recall election was just halarious to watch.
9. If you are broke, don't worry, so is the state.
10. Chances are within the next few years Pot will be legal and nothing will change.

So many more to go...I will add more later.

[ToddM]

Do go on with these reasons.

[Valjylmyr]

I can't wait until you do West Virginia.

[gibleto]

Texas:
1. Size.
2. Local music scene.
3. Everything's bigger in Texas. EVERYTHING.
4. Food.
5. Gun laws.
6. Closeness to Mexico.
7. We can wear cool hats and get away with it.
8. Fuckin FINE chicks.
9. The weather... Wait fuck nevermind.
10. Um............ Ok I give up.

[squidly]

Massachusetts will take you a long time, but I will wait for it.

[MultiCanimefan]

Rhode Island:

1. Join the majority of the state and get paid for NOT working.
2. Road work photographer? You're set for life.
3. Pot hole inspector? You're even more set for life.
4. Clam cakes.
5. Clam cakes.
6. Not good at remembering street names? No worries, we tell you where to go based on landmarks that no longer exist.
7. Too lazy to pronounce some of your "r's?' Get in your ca' and come on down.
8. Newport Mansions.
9. If you drive with us it's practice for New York.
10. H.P. Lovecraft Museum. Ok not really.

[TailsPrower]

Haha! These are great! But one thing... is it really that expensive to live in Alaska? I figure that since the population is so low that property wouldn't be terribly hard to acquire. Anyways, looking forward to more of these ;)

[All-American-Badass]

Montana:
1.Low unemployment
2. beautiful scenery
3. bunch of rich people live there
4. closeness to canada
5. If you like fucked up weather, this place is prefect for you
6. no huge cities
7. peaceful
8. the scenery
9. theres snowboarding
10. good hunting

[Hellian00]

At 10/8/09 11:13 PM, MultiCanimefan wrote: Rhode Island:
10. H.P. Lovecraft Museum. Ok not really.

That would be badass, though.

[Nosferatu-of-Worms]

At 10/8/09 11:25 PM, Hellian00 wrote:

At 10/8/09 11:13 PM, MultiCanimefan wrote: Rhode Island:
10. H.P. Lovecraft Museum. Ok not really.

That would be badass, though.

No shit, I'd have to take road trip to see that one.

[HighWayStar365]

Ohio:

1. Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
2. NFL Hall of Fame
3. Joe Walsh was born in Toledo.
4. Many great baseball players have gone through the Indians.
5. Has the largest amount of black people you'll EVER see in the north
6. It kind of looks like a heart.
7. Bad pro teems that everyone adores
8. Cedar Point
9. Hobos in boxes everywhere you look
10. Lebron James

[Wuggawoot]

New York:

1. Variation in climate
2. New York City
3. Decent drivers
4. Harsh educations; semi-intelligent teens
5. Generally high class area
6. Very picky citizens.
7. Common sense is easy to come by
8. Do something very hard, whatever it is
9. Twilight zone creator grew up in Binghamton
10. Feels new and classy at the same time

[Leidolfr]

Maine:

1- Its fucking cold and boring
2- We have trees, and snow.
3- The bars close at 1 am
4- Fuck em' up toddy
5- Hammond lumbah, bub
6- ya can go upta faiyah
7- Lobsters
8- Lobsters
9- Lobsters
10- The Ocean

[Toukeman]

At 10/8/09 11:54 PM, HighWayStar365 wrote: Ohio: stuff

You took the words right out of my mouth. You get a cookie.

[HighWayStar365]

At 10/9/09 12:10 AM, Toukeman wrote: You took the words right out of my mouth. You get a cookie.

Someone on NG besides me lives in Ohio.

Well I'll be damned.

[Stoicish]

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN COLORADO
1. Most people only associate your state with a show that has poorly drawn foul mouthed 4th Graders.
2. This state won't let anyone forget John Denver. Ever.
3. The top aerospace defence NORAD is in Colorado Springs and can continue to operate even after a nuclear explosion. Which won't matter to you because you'll be dead.
4. Red Dawn, in all its Patrick Swayze glory, took place here.
5. The state is really easy to draw.
6. A light version of the apocalypse takes place here every winter.
7. It's the only place that Denver matters.
8. Denver also hilariously tries to pretend it's New York City.
9. It's GDP is snow.
10. The state adamantly makes sure all the Mormons stay in Utah.

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN CONNECTICUT
1. Only people living here know how to spell the name correctly.
2. Most people living here has a relative who owns a lighthouse.
3. Most Americans don't even know that New Haven exists.
4. People here still think Joe Lieberman is relevant.
5. It's industry output is aircraft parts and nuclear submarines.
6. People from here have managed to keep it a secret that George W. Bush was born in the state.
7. People living here are unaware there is a recession.
8. People from New York come here because they think they are "getting away".
9. It's major export is writers and John Mayer.
10. The state helped bankrupt Mark Twain.

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN DELAWARE
1. It actually isn't the smallest state in the Union.
2. It was your river that George Washington used to slaughter drunken Germans.
3. The state is only relevant on a US Geography test.
4. Banking is obviously a big deal here.
5. Driving on your roads will depress any shiny happy tourist.
6. Three counties just make it easier for people to count.
7. No one goes to Rehoboth Beach so you can have it all to yourself.
8. Most people live in northern Delaware so they can be closer to New York.
9. It takes 30 minutes to drive through the whole state.
10. It has less significance than bread.

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN FLORIDA
1. If you are thirsty then all you have to do is drink the air.
2. The major export of Florida is oranges, sugarcane and Disney.
3. The major import is hurricanes.
4. It's fun to watch the Miami Dolphins try.
5. If you are elderly then chances are you are going to end up here.
6. Florida is the one reason why we had a massive change in the election process.
7. It is always interesting because people from Florida are a mix bag of insane or old and insane.
8. Florida looks like it is peeing on Cuba.
9. Dexter takes place here and everyone loves that show.
10. It's the only Southern state that actually doesn't act like, "the South".

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN GEORGIA
1. Somewhere in this state lives a woman who, during the 2008 Russian invasion of South Ossetia in the country of Georgia, thought that Russia invaded her state.
2. "Georgia On My Mind" is a pretty good song.
3. Chik-Fil-A started in Atlanta.
4. It's the only state to have a "Confederate History Month" that takes place right after Black History Month.
5. If you love random murder then you'll love Atlanta.
6. Major export is horrible rap and rap stars.
7. Every black person in Atlanta think they can make a big break in R&B or Rap.
8. All of the Tyler Perry movies are made here.
9. CNN is here.
10. If you like to take breaks from reality then you take the MARTA trains.

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN HAWAII
1. It's Hawaii.
2. You can have a smug sense of satisfaction living here because most people never get the chance.
3. You pay the most money for products than any other place in the U.S.
4. There is a constant erupting volcano in the island which is really cool.
5. Spam is practically a delicacy here.
6. Only place in the US where white people are a minority.
7. Only state to have a Gas Cap Law.
8. If you climb a high tree you can see the whole state.
9. Milk can end up costing $11.
10. Seriously, there isn't much wrong with this place.

More to come soon...

[MultiCanimefan]

At 10/8/09 11:52 PM, Nosferatu-of-Worms wrote:

At 10/8/09 11:25 PM, Hellian00 wrote:

At 10/8/09 11:13 PM, MultiCanimefan wrote: Rhode Island:
10. H.P. Lovecraft Museum. Ok not really.

That would be badass, though.

No shit, I'd have to take road trip to see that one.

Yeah, you'd think my state would do that, with him being born here in Providence and all.

[Stoicish]

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN IDAHO
1. It's where all our potatoes come from.
2. You'll fit in if you don't have a sense of humor.
3. It is where you die of dysentery before you reach Oregon.
4. Your home is 8 miles away from your "neighbor".
5. Everyone living here is culturally behind the rest of the country.
6. Preston has the Napoleon Dynamite Festival every year to celebrate a movie making them relevant.
7. No one has to use a map to get around because they can see their intended destination.
8. Everyone there pronounces all of their "i"s with "e"s. Welcome to Eedaho.
9. Gained all the fallout from Nevada's nuclear testing.
10. If you aren't paying attention you can actually miss every single town including Boise.

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ILLINOIS
1. The most powerful person in the US comes from here: Oprah.
2. The windy city really is not an exaggeration.
3. Thanks to you sections of Lake Michigan was able to be set on fire.
4. Springfield, no joke, is the capital.
5. Your license plate is an indicator to the rest of the country that you are a slow driver.
6. The accent here is a mix between Canadian drawl and black nasal passages.
7. Da' Bears.
8. Good! You didn't want the Olympics to take place here anyway!
9. The beginning of a lifelong heart condition started in Des Plaines.
10. At least cops are friendly when they are giving you an overpriced speeding ticket.

[dirtyfarmer]

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO:
1. Toronto is fucking badass.
2. Niagara Falls is fucking badass.
3. Ottawa is fucking badass.
4. It's right next to Montreal, which is fucking badass.
5. Cops are very lenient about pot.
6. Universal health care.
7. On April 20th you get to smoke up right in front of the Parliament Building (White House for canadafags)
8. Supply and demand for ecstasy is pretty nice, making nice deals for beans (5$ a pop headies).
9. The best comedians are bred from this place.
10. The best beer is brewed in this place.

[Jamoke]

At 10/9/09 12:09 AM, Leidolfr wrote: Maine:

1- No Black People
2- No Black People
3- No Black People
4- No Black People
5- No Black People
6- No Black People
7- No Black People
8- Blueberry picking
9- No Black People
10- No Black People

You can slip "gay marriage legal" in there if you're a little light in the britches, but the blueberry picking should have pretty much covered that.

[Onepiece285]

At 10/9/09 12:48 AM, Stoicish wrote: 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ILLINOIS

*reasons 1-10*

11. Possession of weed under 100 grams is only a $20 fine.

[CastleVaniac]

NEW MEXICO:

1. good chile
2. low pollution
3. low population
4. you don't have to look far to find a drug dealer (seriously, I can get weed from my next door neighbor!)
5. near the border
6. no humidity to make hot temperatures feel hotter
7. lots of indian reservations, allowing for discount cigarettes and liquor, as well as having casinos
8. public intoxication is acceptable
9. owning and using fireworks is legal
10. good ski resorts up north

[Stoicish]

At 10/9/09 12:57 AM, dirtyfarmer wrote: 10. The best beer is brewed in this place.

I'm going to interject on this one.

I think people are failing to see the irony in my list and are instead posting the 10 things the love about their own states. Which is fine to love your state, but at the same time you are sorta missing the joke and trying to hijack this by saying, "Okay, that's funny, but this is why my state is great."

Whatever.

Also, I heard people living in Ontario think they are the center of the universe.

[Shy2Authentik]

lol Da BEARS!!! wooot!

[Leidolfr]

At 10/9/09 01:00 AM, Jamoke wrote: You can slip "gay marriage legal" in there if you're a little light in the britches, but the blueberry picking should have pretty much covered that.

Jamoke Knows about Maine, thats Startling.

and yeah, we voted no on gay marriage, and, they passed it anyways, and now its up for review again soon because people are pissed that they went all KGB on us and did whatever the fuck they wanted.

and yeah, almost all the blueberry farms here are Indian owned, and up in washington county, because the pleasant point reserve [ Passamaquoddy Indians ] is in Sipayik

[Krbyfan1]

At 10/9/09 12:48 AM, Stoicish wrote: 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ILLINOIS
1. The most powerful person in the US comes from here: Oprah.

Oprah is sexist. I also have it from an inside source she is actually a rooster.

2. The windy city really is not an exaggeration.

Yes it is. A more accurate description is Mountains of Snow on the Sidewalk City.

3. Thanks to you sections of Lake Michigan was able to be set on fire.

Blame Gary, Indiana.

4. Springfield, no joke, is the capital.

Whoopie, 20 states have a Springfield too. One has a gun named after it.

5. Your license plate is an indicator to the rest of the country that you are a slow driver.

55 is a Speed Suggestion to me. This makes no sense because everyday, everywhere is Sunday Driver Day.

6. The accent here is a mix between Canadian drawl and black nasal passages.

Hah, no.

7. Da' Bears.

Bears suck, Patriots FTW.

8. Good! You didn't want the Olympics to take place here anyway!

Maybe I did. Maybe not. I WON'T TELL.

9. The beginning of a lifelong heart condition started in Des Plaines.

I have no idea what this means, so I'll just assume it's about a rubber duckie.

10. At least cops are friendly when they are giving you an overpriced speeding ticket.

Only losers get pulled over for speeding tickets. I ram through police barricades while hitting the nitrous and avoiding spike strips.

[Head-Full-Of-Acid]

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN DELAWARE
1. It actually isn't the smallest state in the Union.
2. It was your river that George Washington used to slaughter drunken Germans.
3. The state is only relevant on a US Geography test.
4. Banking is obviously a big deal here.
5. Driving on your roads will depress any shiny happy tourist.
6. Three counties just make it easier for people to count.
7. No one goes to Rehoboth Beach so you can have it all to yourself.
8. Most people live in northern Delaware so they can be closer to New York.
9. It takes 30 minutes to drive through the whole state.
10. It has less significance than bread.

you pretty much nailed it on the fucking head; musicians who pass by here always talk about how depressing and dull it is (Tera Melos, dude from Alexisonfire, and the lead singer from Maps and Atlases)

but also:

11. no sales tax - more money to waste
12. every house in a 5 mile radius of here can see the beautiful nuclear power plant
13. home to the most cancerous residence in the country [might've changed]
14. every teen/young adult who lives here doesn't want to live here
15. if you want to kill yourself; just swim in one of the plenty rivers [they're all poluted]
16. Dover Air Force Base opens a pleasant trafficking of military planes
17. our most professional sporting establishments are the Blue Rocks at Frawley [huh], the Delaware Smash tennis arena [women's tennis], and of course Dover Fucking Downs
18. if you want to beat the traffic heading to Dover on this day; don't even fucking bother
19. a place where you can be easily accommodated with a two-story house and still shoot your favorite woodland critture.
20. one of the greatest people to quite possibly come from this damned state is George Thorogood [Bad to the Bone anyone?]

good list though; scarily accurate.

[Stoicish]

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN INDIANA
1. You know exactly where NASCAR fans are going to be and when.
2. It has a nice scenery of corn followed by more corn with some wheat thrown in there for a change.
3. Only place in the US where you can call yourself a Hoosier and not snicker.
4. At least someone in your family knows how to play an obscure instrument.
5. During elections your favorite past time is apathy or complaining about people being apathetic.
6. Your state flag is, essentially, an Olympic torch.
7. The Islamic Society of North America is erroneously located here.
8. If you are lucky you may be living in 13 different times zones by the time the year is over.
9. Anything in western Indiana could be considered "depressing".
10. Evansville has no color or fun.

10 REASONS TO LIVE IN IOWA
1. Every 4 years you are the only state to get the most attention.
2. The political climate borders on schizophrenia.
3. You'll learn more about agriculture living here then anywhere else. More than you'd ever wanted to know.
4. The kids here are some of the brightest in the country which is why they leave the state and go to different colleges.
5. All the party kids from everywhere else go to Iowa State University.
6. The most unpopular president was from here (Hoover).
7. For every Johnny Carson and John Wayne to come from here there is also a Tom Arnold and a Asthon Kutcher.
8. If you are gay then picking time is right because there are hardly any women here.
9. Edna M. Griffin Memorial Pedestrian Bridge is the only peice of architecture that make Des Moins look nice.
10. You learn to love cheap off-brand beer in this state.

[Orange]

outside of new york city, new york is quite meh

[Sensationalism]

I'm so sad Wisconsin would be at the end of the list...long after you've given up!