Bonsai Kittens

[michelinman]

For those of you who don't know, a few years ago a website was created that gave step by step instructions on how to create your own bonsai kitten What it said was that if you took a kitten that was less than a week old, you could put them into tight containers and because their bones are so soft at that age, the kittens body would actually mold to the shape of its container like a bonsai tree. The FBI actually tracked these guys down (why the FBI was investigating the well-being of a bunch of kittehs instead of doing REAL police work is beyond me) and proved that the whole thing was a hoax, but lets pretend it was real for a minute. If you could mold a kitten into any shape you wanted, what would you pick? I'd put ones head in an ice cream cone or something and make it look like Pyramidhead from Silent Hill. What about you NG?

[GiantDouche]

Did you just find out about this?

[michelinman]

At 10/4/09 02:47 AM, GiantDouche wrote: Did you just find out about this?

No, I remember this from when I first joined NG. Haha. I just now wondered what creativity people would express if we had that technology though.

[EL-7]

I would make him into a cube so he can have his own cartoon.

HERE COMES CUBECAT.

[WeirdJamFace]

I wouldn't do that. That's just wrong.
But if I COULDN'T tell the difference between right and wrong. I'd mold it into a chair.

A small chair...

[Rig]

I still get emails from some of my friends about that hoax. Girls, all of them.

But anyway, I'd shape one into a puppy.

[Orange-Jews]

I think i'd go with a plain old sphere.

[michelinman]

At 10/4/09 02:51 AM, EL-7 wrote: I would make him into a cube so he can have his own cartoon.

HERE COMES CUBECAT.

lol. Back to the cubecature.

[Gagsy]

At 10/4/09 02:35 AM, michelinman wrote: (why the FBI was investigating the well-being of a bunch of kittehs instead of doing REAL police work is beyond me)

I imagine they reserved a fuck load of complaints and of course had to act on that. That and the fact that ANIMAL CRUELTY IS A CRIMINAL OFFENSE.

OF course they'd investigate these claims.

[Gagsy]

At 10/4/09 03:10 AM, Gagsy wrote:

At 10/4/09 02:35 AM, michelinman wrote: (why the FBI was investigating the well-being of a bunch of kittehs instead of doing REAL police work is beyond me)

I imagine they reserved a fuck load of complaints and of course had to act on that.

received a fuck load of complaints**

It's early, and I'm me :(

[Head-Full-Of-Acid]

I would find a catdog mold..if they're readily available

I always wanted to have a pet with the crafts of a cat, and the compassion of a dog

..even if it is still a kitten

wait, this post is horribly stupid; maybe a tarantual kitten?

[korg53]

At 10/4/09 03:07 AM, michelinman wrote:

At 10/4/09 02:51 AM, EL-7 wrote: I would make him into a cube so he can have his own cartoon.

HERE COMES CUBECAT.

lol. Back to the cubecature.

Catball.
Oh noes.

[michelinman]

At 10/4/09 03:10 AM, Gagsy wrote: I imagine they reserved a fuck load of complaints and of course had to act on that.

They probably get a lot of complaints from people calling about the jungle bunnies next door blaring their coon toons when they're trying to sleep because they've got a KKK meeting bright and early in the morning too, but that doesn't mean you waste peoples tax dollars to take care of the shit.

That and the fact that ANIMAL CRUELTY IS A CRIMINAL OFFENSE.

People > cats. I'm pretty sure the FBI could find better things to do with their time than investigate whether or not somebody hurted a kitteh.

pic relevant

[SuspiciousPenguin]

I would definatley squish it side on
2D KITTEH WILL FIND YOU!

[HollowedPumkinz]

At 10/4/09 03:16 AM, michelinman wrote:

At 10/4/09 03:10 AM, Gagsy wrote: I imagine they reserved a fuck load of complaints and of course had to act on that.

They probably get a lot of complaints from people calling about the jungle bunnies next door blaring their coon toons when they're trying to sleep because they've got a KKK meeting bright and early in the morning too, but that doesn't mean you waste peoples tax dollars to take care of the shit.

That and the fact that ANIMAL CRUELTY IS A CRIMINAL OFFENSE.

People > cats. I'm pretty sure the FBI could find better things to do with their time than investigate whether or not somebody hurted a kitteh.

pic relevant

It's not like they sent in a fucking swat team with the latest equipment to bag the bastards. They probably sent one guy to investigate. and by that, I mean browse their site for like an hour and send them some E-mails. So your I don't think that even one cent of tax money was used in any of this. And if it was, it was extremely minimal. So yes, sick fucking retards 'pretending' to shove kittens in a bottle do deserve to get there stupid asses handed to them by the government. Serves them fucking right.

[Gagsy]

At 10/4/09 03:16 AM, michelinman wrote:

They probably get a lot of complaints from people calling about the jungle bunnies next door blaring their coon toons when they're trying to sleep because they've got a KKK meeting bright and early in the morning too, but that doesn't mean you waste peoples tax dollars to take care of the shit.

Yeah and? Some men call up 911 because their wives haven't given them their dinner yet. So what though? What has that or people making racism complaints got to do with something that is believed to be a genuine real case of cruelty. It needed investigated, and it wouldn't have been had it not been from the amount people I assume complained to get the FBI involved.

I don't even think you realise how many tax money is wasted on pointless court battles, and you want to moan about kittens.

People > cats. I'm pretty sure the FBI could find better things to do with their time than investigate whether or not somebody hurted a kitteh.

Well;

Murder > Robbery

So let's just hope the FBI ignore any case of robbery and work on the more important crime that is murder, all the time every day, because you know, it doesn't matter that all of these things are crimes, it just matters how severe that crime is right?

[michelinman]

At 10/4/09 03:39 AM, mrsmiles703 wrote: It's not like they sent in a fucking swat team with the latest equipment to bag the bastards. They probably sent one guy to investigate. and by that, I mean browse their site for like an hour and send them some E-mails.

No, they sent a gun wielding investigator to ask questions in the middle of school. Then they subpoenaed MIT. Bolshevism

So your I don't think that even one cent of tax money was used in any of this. And if it was, it was extremely minimal. So yes, sick fucking retards 'pretending' to shove kittens in a bottle do deserve to get there stupid asses handed to them by the government. Serves them fucking right.

Sick fucking retards? They're a couple college kids who lol'ed at the thought of something. Big deal. They didn't break any laws. People take shit too serious. IT'S A JOKE. LAUGH. I mean come on, look at him.

[michelinman]

At 10/4/09 03:41 AM, Gagsy wrote: Yeah and? Some men call up 911 because their wives haven't given them their dinner yet. So what though? What has that or people making racism complaints got to do with something that is believed to be a genuine real case of cruelty.

Because a guy calling up 911 for pointless reasons is probably worthy of MORE police time then a website that DOESN'T EVEN KILL animals. They were just bending their bodies around a lil bit. Shit, the kittehs might even like it.

I don't even think you realise how many tax money is wasted on pointless court battles, and you want to moan about kittens.

I do realize, and that's stupid too. I'm not saying this is the only time the police fucked up their priorities, I'm just saying this is a good example. I mean cats? Rly?

Well;

Murder > Robbery

So let's just hope the FBI ignore any case of robbery and work on the more important crime that is murder, all the time every day, because you know, it doesn't matter that all of these things are crimes, it just matters how severe that crime is right?

All crime is crime no matter how low it is, but there is a priority list. For instance I would expect an officer to put more of his heart and soul into a murder case than in a case where a guy ran into a gas station and stole a bag of cheetos. And I would expect them to put more of their heart and soul into the cheeto thief than I would into a young child that was skateboarding where he wasn't allowed to skateboard. And I would expect them to put more of their heart and soul into the skateboarder than the website that has some jokes about kitteh violence. I just don't see how they could spend time on the kittehs without sacrificing time on something that actually means a shit. Go look at dead-baby-jokes.com. Do you think those guys ever got investigated under suspicion of killing babies? No. And you know why? Because Kittehs > Babies to the FBI.

[kikomannnn]

At 10/4/09 02:52 AM, WeirdJamFace wrote: I wouldn't do that. That's just wrong.
But if I COULDN'T tell the difference between right and wrong. I'd mold it into a chair.

A small chair...

I love cats to much to do something like that

[Gagsy]

At 10/4/09 03:59 AM, michelinman wrote:

Because a guy calling up 911 for pointless reasons is probably worthy of MORE police time then a website that DOESN'T EVEN KILL animals. They were just bending their bodies around a lil bit. Shit, the kittehs might even like it.

Oh yes, because bending bones against their nature structure would totally feel wonderful, that and being forced in tight spaced without the ability to move, not even humans would like that and with humans you could ask them to understand, can't ask animals to.

I do realize, and that's stupid too. I'm not saying this is the only time the police fucked up their priorities, I'm just saying this is a good example. I mean cats? Rly?

Yes, really.

All crime is crime no matter how low it is, but there is a priority list. For instance I would expect an officer to put more of his heart and soul into a murder case than in a case where a guy ran into a gas station and stole a bag of cheetos. And I would expect them to put more of their heart and soul into the cheeto thief than I would into a young child that was skateboarding where he wasn't allowed to skateboard. And I would expect them to put more of their heart and soul into the skateboarder than the website that has some jokes about kitteh violence. I just don't see how they could spend time on the kittehs without sacrificing time on something that actually means a shit. Go look at dead-baby-jokes.com. Do you think those guys ever got investigated under suspicion of killing babies? No. And you know why? Because Kittehs > Babies to the FBI.

You talk a lot of shit you know. A kid skateboarding at the wrong hour is a kid skateboarding, that is something a parent needs to address not a police squad. A cat getting abused is still an abuse case. If you can't see why animal cruelty is indeed a worthy crime to try and stop and why millions of people give support to animal charities and why it's important for people learn to respect animals, well you never will actually. Sucks to be so small minded when it comes to other creatures who share this earth. And to think that kittens > babies to the FBI, based on just these two things, where you don't even know the full details, Lol that's just fucking stupid.

[michelinman]

At 10/4/09 04:10 AM, Gagsy wrote:

Lol that's just fucking stupid.

As if I was being serious. :P Come on Gagsy, you know me better than that. I think. Haha.

[Gagsy]

At 10/4/09 04:13 AM, michelinman wrote:

As if I was being serious. :P Come on Gagsy, you know me better than that. I think. Haha.

No I don't know you at all, besides the fact that you look like a film star whos name I keep forgetting >:(

I take animal cruelty very seriously D:< Perhaps you should know that!

[zee666]

Cock-shaped.

[robin1232]

well, it sure as hell would be funny