Vampires vs. Zombies

[Kwing]

This is NOT a thread to boast who you think is cooler; this is a debate over whether zombies or vampires would actually win in a war. We'll be using logic here, so keep your head on.

ZOMBIE PROS:
Zombies operate via the disease Solanum, which travels to the brain to infect victims. Since vampires retain their intelligence, their brain must be oxygenated. Therefore we can assume that a vampire's blood flows through their body, and that a zombie bite would in fact lead to turning a vampire into a zombie. A zombie can also function in daylight, 24 hours a day for approximately 5 years before decaying beyond functionality. Since the brain has already mutated into an entirely new organism, they are immune to vampirism. A zombie doesn't need any nutrients to function.

VAMPIRE PROS:
Vampires are agile and intelligent. They can use their muscles more acutely and efficiently in decapitating zombies. They have a longer lifespan if they continuously drink the blood of their victims. Since their blood still flows, let us assume they have regenerative capabilities and would recover from any injuries or sprains suffered independent from zombie contact. Once realizing their endangerment they could mass-hunt humans, drawing more to their cause.

THE WAR:
Since both creatures spread virally, the whole war revolves around humans. If zombies can infect humans first, the vampires' food source is depleted. However, if vampires infect a colony of humans, they still consume a bit of their food source. Essentially, if the humans survive, the vampires can continue to feed upon them, and if zombies infect them first, vampires are left to starve. Zombies could feed off of vampires, but vampires could not feed off of zombies. The vampires' greatest weakness is their dependency to survive. However, the agility and intellect of the vampires gives them a huge advantage and would allow them to incapacitate zombies quickly. Assuming that both started out equal in number, it would just be a matter of who could reach the humans first. This, of course, makes the outcome vary depending on the human population as well. Humans are important to both zombies and vampires, but moreso to the vampires, as existing vampires still need human blood.

Any additional speculations? Who do you think would win?

[evan210]

Zombies are pretty much invincible if you don't cut off their head and destroy it without catching Solanum, so...

[evan210]

And just in case you couldn't infer from my post...
The victor would be Luis.

[JKMonkey]

Zombies have no blood for the Vampires to suck, so the Zombies would win fo sho.

[Racoonmario]

Pirates. Because they'd wait for the war to end and then come back to crush the remaining forces of the winner, making them the master race.

[xXShortEmoKidXx]

Vampires can control others' minds using their own. They could control the minds of the zombies to make them kill each other. And if not, they could control the humans to make them fight the zombies. it would be just like playing a game of risk, but a lot more serious.

[PorkytheHedgehog]

At 9/25/09 08:35 PM, Racoonmario wrote: Pirates. Because they'd wait for the war to end and then come back to crush the remaining forces of the winner, making them the master race.

You mean the fake pirates?

Real pirates dispense candy to small children, not wage war with ninjas, zombies, vampires, and the like.

[Orange-Jews]

vampires would obviously win, if we're talkin about the standard slow walking dumb zombies.

[Racoonmario]

At 9/25/09 08:36 PM, PorkytheHedgehog wrote:

At 9/25/09 08:35 PM, Racoonmario wrote: Pirates. Because they'd wait for the war to end and then come back to crush the remaining forces of the winner, making them the master race.

You mean the fake pirates?

Real pirates dispense candy to small children, not wage war with ninjas, zombies, vampires, and the like.

Of course I'm talking about fake pirates. Real pirates can't fight zombies and vampires because they don't exist, silly.

[HandsomePete]

I've been goth-ish since I was what... 11ish... I'm 28 now. I've always been a big vampire fan. But with the onslaught of Twilight, and far worse, these tween emo vampire fagfests out there, I think I'm finally past the whole vampire thing.

[pieplane]

At 9/25/09 08:57 PM, HandsomePete wrote: I've been goth-ish since I was what... 11ish... I'm 28 now. I've always been a big vampire fan. But with the onslaught of Twilight, and far worse, these tween emo vampire fagfests out there, I think I'm finally past the whole vampire thing.

really, twilight fucking ruined the awesomeness of vampires by making them seem like pretty boy fags

[Kwing]

At 9/25/09 08:36 PM, xXShortEmoKidXx wrote: Vampires can control others' minds using their own. They could control the minds of the zombies to make them kill each other. And if not, they could control the humans to make them fight the zombies. it would be just like playing a game of risk, but a lot more serious.

I've never heard that one before. Where did you get that idea?

[DrunkDemon]

At 9/25/09 08:36 PM, xXShortEmoKidXx wrote: Vampires can control others' minds using their own. They could control the minds of the zombies to make them kill each other. And if not, they could control the humans to make them fight the zombies. it would be just like playing a game of risk, but a lot more serious.

They couldn't control the zombies, because their brains are so simple there isn't any room for any thoughts except eating. Since zombies themselves provide no nutrition, the vampires couldn't control that directive to their advantage. It wouldn't matter if they ordered the humans to attack them, as they would already try to fight the zombies. But as we all know, -1 human=+zombie, but -1 zombie provides no other benefit to the humans. Therefore, zombies would win.