How to be cool on Newgrounds

[Gagsy]

1. Constantly complain about the way the site is run even though you know the updates have only aided Newgrounds.

2. Refer to your Newgrounds chums by their real names but still ridicule other users you see doing it with their own buddies here.

3. Convince yourself that you only come on here 4 times a week + just for trolling purposes. If you can believe it, I'm sure everyone else will too.

4. Got banned? Don't worry, just make a blog about said ban then end it by saying "I wanted a break from here anyway". That'll totally fool everyone into believing that you don't care.

5. Add obscure flash submissions to your favourite list so that when you're 'fighting' with other users on the forums you can get in a quick cheap shot by laughing at their own favourites which include any flash that has appeared in the Top 50 at any point over the last 2 years.

6. See a mod making a post in a thread? Quick reply to him with some form of joke, that'll impress him!

7. Make threads entitled "Hey (insert username/mod name/real life user name)". You know there's a PM system, you know it's against the rules, but it really makes you cool doing it. It's like you're against the system and everyone else will see that and think "Wow, he is against the system".

8. Continuously talk about how much better Newgrounds was back in (insert year you joined). Despite the fact that of course this site was better to everyone when they first joined, it's was all new then, all fresh. Doesn't mean the site is going down, just means it's not new and exciting to you as much. The other users don't need to know that though. Just tell them it was better back then.

9. "People still BP? Lmao". Yes you may have been seriously into the blam and protecting before but now that you're over that you can totally make fun of those who still do it or even those who have just started, even though you may still have more points than they do!

10. Be an asshole to every user who you don't know on a more personal level or who isn't a mod. That's a foolproof way of appearing like a really cool individual while impressing those mods, and when the mods aren't about make sure you act outwardly like an asshole to them too. You're a rebel baby now, and a cool one at that.

<3

[JollySpace]

Gagsy.. You have so much too learn.

[STEM]

Post behind a female alias and make your profile avatar a picture of some hot chick

[WeHaveFreshCookies]

You forgot

11. Suck admin cock whenever you can.

[Techno]

Change your username to Techno.

If the above is taken, add random numbers to it.

Example: Techno18234198 or Techno666

[madtronix]

you watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvPkUMRE7 yg that will make you cool

[Rabid-Animals]

I expected "Be Gagsy." This alternative does quite nicely, however.

[norcemastero]

of course I will Gagsy, you be an actual female on teh interwebz which is normally only for men who haz teh pen0rz

[Shadud]

At 9/10/09 09:13 PM, JollySpace wrote: Gagsy.. You have so much too learn.

I hate you and you're stupid. Hey guys remember how cool Newgrounds was in 2009? Yeah, Newgrounds was pretty kickass in '09. It sucks now though.

[Deadchick]

At 9/10/09 09:14 PM, WeHaveFreshCookies wrote: You forgot

11. Suck admin cock whenever you can.

That also works with mod cock =P

[WeHaveFreshCookies]

At 9/10/09 09:14 PM, STEM wrote: Post behind a female alias and make your profile avatar a picture of some hot chick

Teehee...

Anybody remember my little experiment?

[JollySpace]

At 9/10/09 09:16 PM, Shadud wrote:

At 9/10/09 09:13 PM, JollySpace wrote: Gagsy.. You have so much too learn.

I hate you and you're stupid. Hey guys remember how cool Newgrounds was in 2009? Yeah, Newgrounds was pretty kickass in '09. It sucks now though.

What?

[M-Vero]

At 9/10/09 09:14 PM, WeHaveFreshCookies wrote: You forgot

11. Suck admin cock whenever you can.

I think that was basically 6, but nonetheless there isn't even a mention of cocks in this.

[HeartbreakHoldout]

Oh, Leanne, you're so funny. Your post reminds me of the simpler times, back in the old days, when we used to laugh and play, and there were no Goddamn 09ers.

I seriously haven't watched a flash in months though, and I don't BP. And I feel hurt when I get banned.

[wwwyzzerdd]

You're cool..... ALPHABETI-COOL!
In other words; no ya not!

[BareNakedMike]

12. Always wear your internet sunglasses

[Shadud]

At 9/10/09 09:16 PM, JollySpace wrote:

At 9/10/09 09:16 PM, Shadud wrote:

At 9/10/09 09:13 PM, JollySpace wrote: Gagsy.. You have so much too learn.

I hate you and you're stupid. Hey guys remember how cool Newgrounds was in 2009? Yeah, Newgrounds was pretty kickass in '09. It sucks now though.

What?

You know what you did.

[azteca89]

12. If you are chick, you are instantly cool, yep you are gonna get your ass kissed by a bunch of little 13 years because you are a chick!

[Blush]

At 9/10/09 09:19 PM, BareNakedMike wrote: 12. Always wear your internet sunglasses

13. Scratch 12, always blush.

[Gagsy]

At 9/10/09 09:13 PM, JollySpace wrote: Gagsy.. You have so much too learn.

I think you're completely missing the point of this thread.

[Ass-Crumb]

Oh that's right, I remember you saying you were on your period today on Stickam.

[GiantDouche]

Got you a present Gags.

thank me later :3

[WritersBlock]

Or you could do as I do and talk about your own intelligence often, mention which university you go to and discuss your favourite pieces of literature, despite the fact that you don't really read as much as you should. In addition to this, using large, often verbose words can help confuse the "retards" of newgrounds, and a wall of text of them works even better. If you type up a short-mid length essay for every single post then people will bow down to your excellence despite not even having read one tenth of what you posted. And then... and then you will force them to their knees and make them beg for mercy. Bwahahahah-*ahem* My apologies, erm... forget that last part.

[WeHaveFreshCookies]

At 9/10/09 09:28 PM, GiantDouche wrote: Got you a present Gags.

thank me later :3

That doesn't fit her needs, you unthoughtful jerk!

I got your back Gagsy.

[Gagsy]

At 9/10/09 09:31 PM, WeHaveFreshCookies wrote:

At 9/10/09 09:28 PM, GiantDouche wrote: Got you a present Gags.

thank me later :3

That doesn't fit her needs, you unthoughtful jerk!

I got your back Gagsy.

I prefer pads actually.

[Twilight]

11. THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU

[STEM]

At 9/10/09 09:28 PM, GiantDouche wrote: Got you a present Gags.

thank me later :3

You're going to need a larger size for THIS vajayjay

[GiantDouche]

At 9/10/09 09:31 PM, Gagsy wrote:

At 9/10/09 09:31 PM, WeHaveFreshCookies wrote:

At 9/10/09 09:28 PM, GiantDouche wrote: Got you a present Gags.

thank me later :3

That doesn't fit her needs, you unthoughtful jerk!

I got your back Gagsy.

I prefer pads actually.

LOL. She thinks women get opinions. Everybody point and laugh.

[Mendou]

Another excellent tip is to get into as many arguments as you can about any kind of subject(politics, religion, abortion, America/The UK sucks, video games etc) and pull anything out of your ass that you can possibly think of an attempt to seem like you're the smart one in the thread, and that you know what you're talking about, always.

And don't forget to make threads with your E-buddy's that are full of inside jokes that no one finds funny except you and your dumb little pals. But make sure to act like you guys are the kings of comedy here, and that everyone else is just too dumb to get the jokes!

[wwwyzzerdd]

Number 327632434) Insult regular users who are just trying to do you a service by helping you become even the slightest of better posters in a humorous but reflective way by telling them that they're whining or bitching. People will respect your rebellious spirit more than the individual attempting to make this a better place.