Consider if you lose your penis

[Icecry0]

Dropped a knife and impaled your penis? Woke up in a surgery room and discovered a missing penis? Fat girlfriend jumped too hard on your dick and split it in half?

There is hope. The following will describe what you should consider after losing your penis. Simply pick the category that suits you and discover your possibly life after no penis.
Pleasure Oriented men live for pleasure.
"But I have no penis! HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO HAVE PLEASURE?!"
It's called the male g-spot. Where is this mysterious area located? Your anus.
"WOW WOW WOW, I'M NOT GAY!" you may say.
It doesn't have to be, instead of having a 1 on 1 with a guy you can simply ask your girlfriend to wear a strap on and let the anus pleasure commence. Adapt to your "new masturbation" by adding a collection of various instruments for anal pleasure. If you have girlfriend be wary, you may be getting pleasure but all she will get is a sore on her hips. Make sure to train your fingers and tongue to giver her the best vaginal experience during or after your session.

Conservative Oriented men that don't enjoy adapting to something they're not used to at all, this spot is for you.
"I WILL NEVER TAKE IT UP THE ASS."
Is something a conservative oriented man might say. Well without a penis, and without your ass, you have no other way to gain sexual pleasure. There are however a multitude of things you can do that you might have never thought of with a penis.

Adopt a Child
Can't make your own? ADOPT! You'll be accepted by about any orphanage to have a child because you have such a low chance of being some sort of child predator without a penis.

Be a Priest
"I cut my penis off for god."
No catholic church is gonna say no to this one! They may think your a little bit on the wacko side though. Avoid mental hospitals at all costs.

None of these suit you? Your more in for excitement, but not the pleasure kind? You should probably be...
AN EPIC PERSON
Save a person from a burning building? EPIC
Kick the robber's ass in the convenience store? EPIC
Go to the Pakistan and go in guns blazing against Al-Quadea and his terrorist organization? EPICCCCCCC

But maybe...your not into the hero types? Maybe a bit more EVIL?
Set fire to homeless helper's organization? EVIL
Rob a convenience store with a sub machine gun and kill everyone before you leave? EVIL
Go to the United States and crash an airplane into very large important buildings?EVILLLLLLL

Going out in style is the definition of a very EPIC or EVIL person. Try to make headlines plz.

If I had not convinced you enough that there is a potential exciting life after the loss of your penis, then I agree this is all bullshit. Then again, remember what this wise person said:
"There is life after you lose your penis, NOT."
-Anonymous

[NlNE]

Thanks for the help, I lost mine last week.

[AHintofMoonlight]

I'd have surgery to get:

Vagina
C-cup breasts
Adams apple removed

I would then continue as usual wearing Skirts, tights, etc.

[Shoopo]

They have surgery for everything nowadays.

It would be a perfect spot for my new vagina.

[Toastman7007]

That's why you always keep a spare.

[HibiscusKazeneko]

If you lop off your penis, wouldn't it be hard to keep the leftover urethral opening unblocked?

[DrClay]

I rather keep my dick thank you

[levusbevus]

This topic amuses me.

I think I like you, op.

[MonkeyV]

At 9/9/09 11:53 PM, levusbevus wrote: This topic amuses me.

I think I like you, op.

Levusbevus and Icecry0, sitting in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love
Them comes marriage
Then comes an abrupt, tragic, miscarriage
Then comes blame
Then comes despair
Two hearts broken
Beyond repair
Levusbevus leaves Icecry0
And takes the tree
D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Taken from C+H, before any of you start thinking I'm original.

[Magical-Zorse]

To be honest, I wouldn't mind losing my penis

[LepyThedinosuar]

At 9/9/09 11:55 PM, MonkeyV wrote: Levusbevus and Icecry0, sitting in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love
Them comes marriage
Then comes an abrupt, tragic, miscarriage
Then comes blame
Then comes despair
Two hearts broken
Beyond repair
Levusbevus leaves Icecry0
And takes the tree
D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Taken from C+H, before any of you start thinking I'm original.

Dude. You just happen to be the most original person I've ev-

WHAT?!

[andale524]

At 9/9/09 11:43 PM, Icecry0 wrote: Fat girlfriend jumped too hard on your dick and split it in half?

^^that's hilarious!! lol^^

anyway i would probably get surgery to fix it some how

[MurdaDVS]

i think its illogical to think you could drop a knife and cut your penis off but ok

something im not gonna worry about

[Obsessed117]

I just chopped off my dick yesterday but it grew back twice as long.

HELP ME NG, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE PRETTY LIKE JADE D:

[FlamingHiei]

You could also eat a ration, that makes most anything grow back.

[S0ckPuppet]

I take my penis off and leave it at home when I'm playing with knives

[Sensationalism]

I lost my penis.

[badassdude1234]

I should have told my relative this after she got the sex change....oh well great advice.

[Haoie]

Any males worst nightmare, it seems.