Nazi cop mosh pit

[FUNKbrs]

So last night I was at House of Thor, watching Area 69 and Glutton for Punishment play, and a cop showed up to the bar. He pops in, starts drinking, in uniform, and when he gets done he gets in his cop car and starts peeling out in the parking lot to show off his Interceptor cop engine.

So he takes off, goes home, changes into street clothes, and comes back in to drink more and party. At this point Glutton for Punishment are playing their cover of "America! Fuck Yeah!" from America World Police. I've been head banging and moshing with the owner of the bar this whole time ( Doc is a cool mother fucker. Vietnam vet, 3 tours, 5 purple hearts, 58 years old and still fucks 21 year old chicks) and this cop starts getting in the pit.

This is the part where I find out I'm tougher than most cops.

Anways, so GFP is playing "America! Fuck Yeah!" and I start making fun of America by doing the Nazi Salute whenever they say "America" because that's basically what we are now, a bunch of fucking Nazis. So this cop starts getting all into it, doing the Nazi salute only... he's NOT joking. And he starts asking around if anyone knows any members of the Aryan Brotherhood.

Now, the fucked up part of this is that I DO know a member of the Aryan Brotherhood, my old vocalist Skinhead Adam. I of course don't bring this up, as I don't really feel like helping Skinheads recruit. The Soul City Rockers are annoying enough as Trady Irish S.h.a.r.p.s, let alone Adam's full blown "lets raise a shitload of blue-eyed white babies" skinhead colony shit.

So basically.. yeah. I started a mosh pit with a Nazi cop and a Vietnam vet with more shrapnel in his head than sense.

Good times were had by all.

'cept the coloreds.

[TehSlapHappy]

You life is interesting, please, tell me more.

[ReverendMayhem]

Goddamn I wish I was you. Seriously, how do I get as cool as you?

[Excursius]

America, FUCK YEAH!
Savin' the motha fuckin' planet!
FUCK YEAH.

yes.

[smeagol1]

How the fuck does this happen?

[FUNKbrs]

At 9/6/09 02:21 PM, smeagol1 wrote: How the fuck does this happen?

You see, memphis is what we like to call...

CORRUPT.

If you don't want your bar shut down, you have to cater to cops. If you throw a party they can have fun at, they'll bend over backwards to keep the doors open.

Also, you have to think of it this way:
Most violent country in the world: America (as a nation. Our wars kill a lot of people)
Most violent city in America: Memphis (well, per capita. Sometimes Detroit beats us, but just barely.
Most violent scene in Memphis: Metal
Most violent bar in the Metal scene: House of Thor
Most violent person in House of Thor: FUNKbrs

You see how this works now?

[therealanimator]

that man is a hero. you were lucky to meet him FunkBRS and any chance of any pics of the gig?

[FUNKbrs]

At 9/6/09 02:53 PM, therealanimator wrote: that man is a hero. you were lucky to meet him FunkBRS and any chance of any pics of the gig?

I know someone had a camera... probably friends of Area 69 or Glutton for Punishment. I suggest doing a myspace search for those bands and seeing if they have new pics up.

I don't carry a camera in a mosh pit, because I'm not a fucking retard.

BTW, Doc owns the bar, and he's a blast to hang out with. House of Thor is worth a trip to Memphis, Goddamnit.

[DogmeatFilms]

Dude, you are toooooo lucky. That's like a once in a lifetime experience

[Fragment]

Sounds like too much fun. The Nazi Cop thing was funny but hearing you describe the bar owner makes me want to go down to Memphis and party my ass off with him.

[NG-NoName]

Get off my welfare, trailer trash

[FUNKbrs]

At 9/6/09 03:02 PM, DogmeatFilms wrote: Dude, you are toooooo lucky. That's like a once in a lifetime experience

..... for any body BUT me.

Me? I do bad ass shit like this all the time. I'm kinda famous for it.

Like the time I played drums for Pain Tribe, so I was busting out jungle beats while two guys played tug of war with hooks in their backs.

At 9/6/09 03:06 PM, Fragment wrote: Sounds like too much fun. The Nazi Cop thing was funny but hearing you describe the bar owner makes me want to go down to Memphis and party my ass off with him.

Dude, for real. I've been trying to get a Memphis Meat done for years now.

At 9/6/09 03:10 PM, NG-NoName wrote: Get off my welfare, trailer trash

I live in a house. I have a job.

Oh, and I fuck your sister. Until she bleeds.

[NG-NoName]

At 9/6/09 03:13 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:
Oh, and I fuck your sister. Until she bleeds.

Me too, bub, now mount me faggot

[DragonFyre9]

Sounds like a hell of a party.

[Fragment]

At 9/6/09 03:13 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:

At 9/6/09 03:06 PM, Fragment wrote: Sounds like too much fun. The Nazi Cop thing was funny but hearing you describe the bar owner makes me want to go down to Memphis and party my ass off with him.

Dude, for real. I've been trying to get a Memphis Meat done for years now.

Plane ticket to Memphis from D.C: About 600 dollars, maybe a bit more.

Do they accept 19-year olds or is it 21-and-up? Because I am so fucking down to go.

[GodsBitch]

Nice story, but keep it on your user-page.

[Lunaful]

At 9/6/09 01:57 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:

Trady Irish S.h.a.r.p.s.

What dose that mean?

[Lamar537]

Well, that's interesting. A nazi cop? Never would've guessed.

cool.. story.. bro

[GodsBitch]

At 9/6/09 03:42 PM, Lunaful wrote:

At 9/6/09 01:57 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:

Trady Irish S.h.a.r.p.s.

What dose that mean?

A S.H.A.R.P. is a "Skinhead against racial prejudice". Basically an anti-racist skinhead.

[FUNKbrs]

At 9/6/09 03:31 PM, Fragment wrote: Do they accept 19-year olds or is it 21-and-up? Because I am so fucking down to go.

21+

>:{

At 9/6/09 03:42 PM, Lunaful wrote:

At 9/6/09 01:57 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:

Trady Irish S.h.a.r.p.s.

What dose that mean?

Trady Irish is "Traditional Irish" which is the race they claim the heritage of. S.h.a.r.p stands for Skin Heads Against Racial Prejudice, which is a breed of skin head that traces their origin to migrant dock workers who shaved their heads to stay cool when doing manual labor, and also to avoid lice. They listen to OI! punk and drink a lot of beer. Theyre known by their shaved heads, steel toed boots, suspenders, and ornate four leaf clover tattoos.

[Gateau]

At 9/6/09 02:42 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: Most violent country in the world: America (as a nation. Our wars kill a lot of people)

Ehhh... "Most violent" in terms of war isn't relevant to your point. I think the most violent country has got to be something like the Ukraine. I mean god, not a day goes by where you don't hear about some crazy Ukraine man slaughtering an entire family with a cinder block.

Sorry, just had to make my point on the Ukraine

[SevenSeize]

Don't lisen to his bullshit.

He comes over to my house on Thursday nights. We drink chamomile tea and listen to Mozart. We discus current events and pet kittens. Occasionally we go outside and lay down under the stars while we observe constellation activity and debate over the moral situation in America's youth.

and he holds his pinky finger out while he sips from the good china.

[Malachy]

Funk is known around the greater Memphis area as a very caring board member of his local SPCA, where his specialty is rehabilitating kittens. Hand feeds them milk if they are young, teaches them how to use a litter box, curls up in a ball on a giant bean bag chair and allows all kittens in the shelter to sleep on his argyle sweater and wool trousers. It's truly a sight to behold.

[knightsofthecircle]

You lucky son of a bitch. When you get in to a mosh pit, you get to mosh with an old Vet and a Nazi Cop. When I mosh, I get tendonitis for the month.

Do mods automatically get lukier once they get inaugurated?

[YuanYan]

At 9/6/09 04:12 PM, Malachy wrote: Funk is known around the greater Memphis area as a very caring board member of his local SPCA, where his specialty is rehabilitating kittens. Hand feeds them milk if they are young, teaches them how to use a litter box, curls up in a ball on a giant bean bag chair and allows all kittens in the shelter to sleep on his argyle sweater and wool trousers. It's truly a sight to behold.

yeah, I found a shoe box with 6 little siamese in it under a bridge near the outter Memphis area. I just couldn't take care of them. I brought them to the SPCA and they gave me FUNK's address. I went over to his house, and I felt so much better, firstly because of his spice garden outside, and the nicely pruned bushes....but he came outside, took all 6 little kittens and brought them inside from the rain.

I went back to the shelter a few months later and all 6 kittens were full grown and had been adopted out to families.

They would never have made it without FUNK.

[EvilJesus]

I was expecting a video at least, SHAME ON YOU >:C

[chubbthehippo]

Oh man, I love America.

[LynchedJohNNY]

Detroit is still in the number 1 spot Funk, followed by Memphis.
link

[FUNKbrs]

At 9/6/09 04:09 PM, SevenSeize wrote:

and he holds his pinky finger out while he sips from the good china.

I swear to god, you've got it coming for this one. I'm going to grab a fistful full of hair and fuck you so hard and fast that shit sounds like APPLAUSE, do you hear me?

At 9/6/09 04:12 PM, Malachy wrote: Funk is known around the greater Memphis area as a very caring board member of his local SPCA, where his specialty is rehabilitating kittens. Hand feeds them milk if they are young, teaches them how to use a litter box, curls up in a ball on a giant bean bag chair and allows all kittens in the shelter to sleep on his argyle sweater and wool trousers. It's truly a sight to behold.

I hand feed them BLOOD, goddamnit. The soul of every kitten is filled with murder, and nothing brings me more joy than thinking of all the tiny animals each and every kitten will eventually murder and dismember in their lifetimes.

Think about it. Kittens are built for deception, stealth, and murder. Those little kitten paws are packed with disemboweling claws, thank you very much.

At 9/6/09 04:17 PM, knightsofthecircle wrote: You lucky son of a bitch. When you get in to a mosh pit, you get to mosh with an old Vet and a Nazi Cop. When I mosh, I get tendonitis for the month.

Haha. Your mosh form is weak, young one.

Do mods automatically get lukier once they get inaugurated?

Dude, do you think this shit happens over night? I've been a staple of the metal scene locally for working on half a decade.

[wwwyzzerdd]

At 9/6/09 01:57 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: ( Doc is a cool mother fucker. Vietnam vet, 3 tours, 5 purple hearts, 58 years old and still fucks 21 year old chicks)

Wow. Even I would slob his knob.