Well, I was sitting at the table this morning, reading the paper whilst smoking a pipe when the milkman came to the door. I answered and the fuck spills the milk all over the fucking porch. He panicked and was like "oh oh sir im so sorry, please let me clean this oh sir oh nooo!!" So, as any red-blooded alpha male would do... I kicked his pasty, fucking low-income face in and beat him down into the pavement with vigorous jabs to his stomach. He screamed "oh sir oh shit oh sir!!" and he pleaded for me to stop and I was all like "oh no son eat my wenis" and I fucking elbowed his face. "YEAH KABLAM YOU FUCKING MILKMAN PUSSYSHITBITCH"
Then a fucking cop sprinted over, distressed, screaming "oh sir what're you doing!? stoop!!!" and he took out his tazer so I jetted. Ran onto a construction site and hid in a port-o-potty. But this pig was certainly more intelligent then you're average bacon in blue and started to tip it over and I was like "NOOOOOO". And beaner labor feces flew all over my face.
The cop then opened the door and was all like "Yeah get out here you shitty fuckass sir!!" And beat me.
I then woke up in the station and had to be interrogated. This detective was all like "sir!! what happen!!?" and I was like "well this stupid worthless milkman fuck spilled his milk all over my porch so i beat him down because he's worthless!" and the detective was all like "oh really son??"
Image below, can any of you guys relate?
