Suicide...

[CreateAndDestroy]

Lately a ton of problems have been happening...
I am 19 years old, but when was in grade 9 told that I would not or their would be an extreme chance that I would not live past 21. I have what they call auto-immune hepatitis, it is not contagious, and very common, yet rare at the same time. I just got back from spending two nights in the hospital, with stomach pains, and everything that I eat I can't keep down. I just got my meds and they came to $152 cdn, just for one bottle. I take a number of pills everyday that don't really do anything for me. My little brother called my parents to tell them what was happening, they were out on a trip and decided not to even come and see me, instead just asked about if my brother and myself had jobs yet. I don't know, I don't really have a ton of friends, I'm always feeling like shit, I don't really do anything but go to work, come home - I live by myself... I mean, I have a girlfriend, and I have two kids but with t he Doctor telling me I wont live past 21, my 20th is in 1 month and a bit... I have been thinking about a painless way to die. Is this bad, should I go get checked out?
Or do you think that it could be normal for someone like me to feel this way... I don't know.
Augh.

[DudeGoofyGuy]

It sounds normal for your state, but getting a therapist can't hurt, it might help you enjoy life more. I can tell you that suicide isn't worth it, especially right now. You should make a list of things to do before you die, and then go live life while you can. Go out having fun, not through a depressing suicide.

[Sierra]

Ohh.... I feel really bad for you.

Suicide is permanent. There's no chance you'll survive suicide. However, you might live on even though you have been diagnosed.

Try getting a therapist and getting checked out.

[LBRocker]

No dude. don't do it. I know what it like to want to kill yourself, but just don't do it. You're 19, you haven't seen all of life yet. Whatever time left you have on this Earth should be spent with happiness and no regrets.

Fuck the disease. Live your life.

[SeaBoundRhino]

If you only have a short time to live, then don't waste it. I know this sounds really clichéd, but live your life while you can.

[LBRocker]

You have a girlfriend and kid who love you. You aren't alone. You still have something to live for, don't go and kill yourself.

[yurgenburgen]

Don't kill yourself. Live your life till the very end. If there's anything you've always wanted to do, set that as your goal and go for it.

[Alastor]

Spend as much time as possible with your girlfriend and your kids.

When you do that, figure out if suicide is really worth it.

[LBRocker]

At 9/5/09 03:46 PM, selena18 wrote: Definitely get checked out please. =/

If you need someone to talk to, PM me.

Yes, just talk to us.

[CreateAndDestroy]

The problem is, I can't even afford to do anything that I want to do... I pay so much for my pills, and more then half the time, can't even get out of bed due to being lethargic (tried). The lack of friends and support really get to me, I get so angry sometimes, not at anyone but myself. I get angry at myself, I have seen countless therapists, none of them help. Then another part of me, just hates and despises my parents, to the point that I wish something like my death would happen, so they can live with the feeling of their son leaving them, and never coming back. I don't really know. Death doesn't scare me, but the thought that death doesn't scare me, is what scares me. (If that makes any sense at all).

Also, none of the medication is a depressant, and I quit drinking alcohol. It's just in my head, my mind is telling me that the world hates me, my parents hate me for leaving me when they found out that I had this problem (they kicked me out within a year after being diagnosed). The lack of friends gets to me everyday....

It just seems like there really isn't a point to life anymore, that my time is up. I've done everything I can do. Every 20 minutes I am vomiting blood, and stomach acid because I can't eat, I am starving, my liver is breaking down, I can't get a transplant, I'm screwed.

I'd rather go on my own terms then let this hep beat me, you know?

[DragonFyre9]

Use the time you have left to do something you've always wanted to do. There must be some unfulfilled dream you have. You have a girlfirend and two kids, even if you are really down don't do it for their sake.

[MurdaDVS]

Damn dude thats some shit I think you should just live your life..ive been through alot of shit thats made me wanna kill myself but then i realize thats not the thing to do...live your life and spend as much time as you can with the ppl u love

[Lost-Chances]

At 9/5/09 03:37 PM, Sanjay wrote: Also, I don't feel like putting up with any smart asses. Posting pro-suicidal messages in here will get you 3 days ban minimum.

Can you define "pro-suicidal"? I'm sorry, but I believe in the freedom to take your life if you want to without people holding you down. Sure, it's stupid for people to tell people to kill themselves but I feel, at least personally, it's stupid to force people to live if they don't want to.

[vargasdanny]

well sounds like you have it hard but WTF suicide cmon you said it yourself you have two kids, what do you want to do to them make them mentally unstable? Live your life to the fullest don't bother with your parents caring for you only you and your REAL family matter. And Doctors always estimate these things but are sometimes wrong. Hell i have a friend whose completely crippled and always in pain at home and wears a diaper that his mother doesn't change until the end or next day because she just doesn't feel like it and he never complains to her. Life is important to everyone no matter what even to you if it wasn't important you wouldn't of bought the medicine to help or even tell us this. You want someone to say life is worth living and well it is. If you really do feel like committing suicide look up the suicide hot line but remember there are always people worse off who don't even think about doing such a thing as suicide.

[TehSlapHappy]

At 9/5/09 03:46 PM, Calintz wrote: I'd rather go on my own terms then let this hep beat me, you know?

You're 19, that is waaaaaaaay to early to say suicide man. Just keep your head high. I imagine you never felt depressed as a kid, no?

[LBRocker]

At 9/5/09 03:50 PM, Cericon wrote: If he's going to die anyway, should it be on his terms?

Don't encourage him, you would feel awful if he did. I know I would.

[CreateAndDestroy]

Anyone can get it, you could wake up tomorrow and have it, question is what the hell have I done to deserve it.

"What is autoimmune hepatitis?

Autoimmune hepatitis affects the liver.

Autoimmune hepatitis is a disease in which the body's immune system attacks liver cells. This immune response causes inflammation of the liver, also called hepatitis. Researchers think a genetic factor may make some people more susceptible to autoimmune diseases. About 70 percent of those with autoimmune hepatitis are female.

The disease is usually quite serious and, if not treated, gets worse over time. Autoimmune hepatitis is typically chronic, meaning it can last for years, and can lead to cirrhosis-scarring and hardening-of the liver. Eventually, liver failure can result.

Autoimmune hepatitis is classified as type 1 or type 2. Type 1 is the most common form in North America. It can occur at any age but most often starts in adolescence or young adulthood. About half of those with type 1 have other autoimmune disorders, such as"

Link

Also attached is a picture of what my liver would look like compared to one of yours (if healthy).

----------------------------

I know it seems selfish of me but I don't know, I've been dealing with this for over 5 years now, and I still am not better, if anything it has gotten worse.

Not too mention, I have to post about this on NG, because other then my GF I have no one to talk to about it. How pathetic is that...

[Alastor]

Dude, I can already tell that you have a huge victim mentality. You think the world screwed you over and you think situations were fabricated against your favor.

EVEN if you truly are a victim and you got a bumrap, you can't just adopt that "I'm shit." mindset and give up on life.

Going through adversity is what makes us human. Adversity (or 'shit times', trouble etc.) can be a metaphor for cold, miserable rain. Because without the depressing rain, our vegetation would die out, forests would dry up and flowers couldn't grow.

And you have kids too? I honestly can't think of a greater incentive to live your life, however long it may be, when you have children you care about and want the best for.

[ShmenonPie]

Talk to real people, not the internet. People on the internet don't care, and will likely encourage you to do something stupid.

[DudeGoofyGuy]

At 9/5/09 03:49 PM, Lost-Chances wrote: Can you define "pro-suicidal"? I'm sorry, but I believe in the freedom to take your life if you want to without people holding you down. Sure, it's stupid for people to tell people to kill themselves but I feel, at least personally, it's stupid to force people to live if they don't want to.

I think he's talking more about posts in the style of "kill urself, lol"

[CreateAndDestroy]

At 9/5/09 03:55 PM, ShmenonPie wrote: Talk to real people, not the internet. People on the internet don't care, and will likely encourage you to do something stupid.

If I had friends, or my family was around to even care I would.
Fuck like I said, I was just hospitalized, and they cared more about their vacation, and if I had a job then if I was alright. I have no one, other then my girlfriend, and you can imagine how our conversations go when I tell her that I would rather just die.

[TightRope]

List of things to do before you die

dig up human remains and throw them at people from your car window
beat an old lady to death
fuck a corpse
keester beer
throw a week long party

[CreateAndDestroy]

At 9/5/09 04:03 PM, TightRope wrote: List of things to do before you die

dig up human remains and throw them at people from your car window

I don't feel comfortable digging up someone's corpse...

beat an old lady to death

I hate inflicting pain on others...

fuck a corpse

I don't feel comfortable digging up someone's corpse...

keester beer

Don't drink

throw a week long party

Don't drink / party...

[TightRope]

At 9/5/09 04:05 PM, Calintz wrote:

At 9/5/09 04:03 PM, TightRope wrote: List of things to do before you die

dig up human remains and throw them at people from your car window

I don't feel comfortable digging up someone's corpse...

beat an old lady to death

I hate inflicting pain on others...

fuck a corpse

I don't feel comfortable digging up someone's corpse...

keester beer

Don't drink

throw a week long party

Don't drink / party...

You are going to die anyway... fine then dress up in black face and pester people on a train.

[Rad]

At 9/5/09 04:06 PM, TightRope wrote:

At 9/5/09 04:05 PM, Calintz wrote:

At 9/5/09 04:03 PM, TightRope wrote:

You are going to die anyway... fine then dress up in black face and pester people on a train.

It's so unfair that you'll probably outlive Calintz.

You should write a book, or make a movie, some type of auto-biography about yourself. You sound like you've lived a more interesting life than me, I'm sure others would want to hear your story.

[LBRocker]

At 9/5/09 04:13 PM, Cericon wrote: For all those defending him, have you seen his profile?
Referring to sneakers as "kickz" and wearing baseball hats incorrectly.

It seems to me like nothing of value would be lost.

You're crossing a line, and I don't think you can handle what's on the other side.

[AvaIanche]

At 9/5/09 04:13 PM, Cericon wrote: For all those defending him, have you seen his profile?
Referring to sneakers as "kickz" and wearing baseball hats incorrectly.

It seems to me like nothing of value would be lost.

Yes, I call them kicks.. I have my entire life.
Also, my hat goes like that by itself, thanks though anyways. Also, it's a truckers hat not a baseball hat. Who cares though

[bloomers]

have you talked to you gf aout this stuff? I mean, if you ended ur life think of what it would do to your gfs life? and what aout your kids? Would you rather they grew up thinking there dad was a coward who commit suicide or a man who thought through and held on to his life for as long as he could.

Don't want to sound harsh, but suicide is selfish, you shouldn't even consider it.

I rememer meeting one guy who had cancer (know its not the same disease ut the lesson is valuale non the less). The doctors told him he would die in a few months after they tried everything to help him. Then he resorted to chinese medicine, and he lived past what the doctors said he would, ut he was still dying. His chinese doctor told him to do what he wanted to. And so this guy went to japan, it only cost him aout 200-300 £ cause he looked around for cheap deals and flights. he stayed in youth hostels and places like that.

He lived his life to the full, and he killed his cancer. the doctors said it was a miracle. Now its een aout two years since the doctors said he would die and hes still alive.

Rememer, if you give into your disease your gonna die no matter what, ut if you fight it, you've at least got a chance, don't give up now.

Also, i know its controvsial, nut if your in a lot of pain, mayve you should look at other forms of painrelief, perhaps cannais. Mayve your doctor can persicrie you some medicnal cannais.

Also, your parents sound like douches. No offence ut kicking you out cause u have a disease? Thats ridiculus, I wouldn't give a damn aout them if I was you. Personally i'd tell them to go f*** themselves.

Just rememer don't give in, no matter how hard it gets. and keep scrounging and saving any money u get. and mayve you can afford to do your dream.

Do you mind if I ask what your dream is? mayve someone on here could advise you a cheap way to do it.

[JaY11]

IMO you shouldn't have to work if you are expected to die at such a young age. That's just depressing in itself.

[xKore]

At 9/5/09 04:13 PM, Cericon wrote: For all those defending him, have you seen his profile?
Referring to sneakers as "kickz" and wearing baseball hats incorrectly.

It seems to me like nothing of value would be lost.

You sound like such a faggot. Be sure to tuck your shirt in and do your top button up mister.