The Girl I'm Dating Is Starving

[TJoyal]

I'm hooking up with a girl that I know. We're playing it by ear, pretty much. I'm positive that I'm in the clear. She's pretty much the perfect girl. She's captain of our cheer-leading squad, she runs the school newspaper, gets good grades, and she is very cute. Although, her old boyfriend practically corrupted her with the fact that she is overweight. She's not fat. She has broad shoulders and it gives her the illusion that she's overweight.

Last night she had told me that she eats once a day and that it's two pieces of wheat bread with a tiny smear of peanut butter in between. I'll talk to her in the morning and she'll say that she's tired. I'll talk to her in the afternoon and she'll say that she's tired. I'll talk to her at night and she'll say that she's tired. She fatigues herself from not only all the activities she does, but from starving herself.

Then just last night she tells me that she wants me to mind my own business and that she doesn't need my help. And if I ever bring it up again, she will not date me. But the thing is, I really have feelings for her, but I wouldn't want to date a girl that I know has a serious problem that she refuses to get help from. She says that her doctors help her and they say that she's doing fine. But I'm pretty sure it's very hard to find a doctor that thinks eating one sandwich once a day is healthy.

[Klayman30]

That's sad.
But unfortunatly, there's nothing I can do about it :(

[SatanHam]

At 8/28/09 10:10 AM, TJoyal wrote: shit.

1 sandwich a day is enuff.

pics?

[Sensationalism]

I don't really know what you can do in that situation. I'd just continue going out with her and try to make her feel good about herself and hope she'd come out of it on her own or decide to get help on her own.

[HungarianSupermarket]

My ex had eating problems. It was so fucking annoying trying to talk sense into her. Can't offer advice because its over 2 years later and she still does it.

[B4gle]

If you're looking for help with your girl problems, go look for the Relationship crew, some of the guys in there are really cool and can help you out. But in my opinion you shouldn't let your girlfriend put conditions on your relationship.

You should tell her that she has to start eating more healthily or YOU'LL break up with her. That's what I would do at least. I'm not an expert.

[gumOnShoe]

Classic eating disorder. I bet she's a perfectionist as well and her parents are a little overbearing, but even if they aren't, you already said her old boyfriend was, which might have been enough.

Much as it may hurt, you don't want to date someone who doesn't take care of themselves. This might not be the point force the point, but eventually you'll have to. If you wait it will be harder.

Talking to her directly may be the best way, but she'll push you away. The next thing to do would be parents, but they too aren't going to listen if they are already supporting it.

The only action I recommend is talking to your school counselor for advice. They deal with these things and you should use them as a resource while you still can.

[ProBo]

Starving yourself dosn't help when loosing whight. She must be too stupid to realize this. Working out, eatinng three healthy, moderatly sized meals a day. Thats how you do it. Thinking you can just not eat is stupid. When one mf my female friends started doing this, me and my friends got really serious with her, saying we were gonna get her to see a therapist if she did'nt start eating right.

[Echo-Konosko]

gumonShoe is right we are technically not allowed to give advice unless someone here has that profession, and even then it should be a one on one talk.

[Struggle]

At least get her to eat some vegetables.
seriously. Vitamins are where it's at.

[FeedingAdiction]

Broad Shoulders? I'm sorry to tell you, but your woman has a penis...

[Prinzy2]

That sucks pretty hard.

I knew a girl that was a little chubby in high school and I seen her 3 or 4 months ago and you could tell she had an eating disorder, she was literally skin and bones and looked like she was ready to collapse. Apparently she would exercise for 3-4 hours a day and never eat, personally I thought she was cuter when she was on the chubby side compared to something that a slight breeze would knock over. Last I heard she was in the hospital, and everybody had known way before that she had a problem, she was even seeing a professional if I recall correctly.

[Skullls]

yay vegetables and fruits, try to put it one with the power of science!(I´m from germany and in deperate needs of better expressions) show her how much she couls eat and still loose weight (don´t even try to say she haven´t to it won´t work) it´s important she just get enough vitamins and minerals or her body will be serious unhealthy!

[BumFodder]

How has she not died yet?

Thats some really bad Anorexia.

[The-Condor]

Force feed her steaks and your cock.

[SaltshakerClock]

There was this girl named Debora in my school 2 years ago. She had bulimia. It was gross. Puking all over the place, and she turned out into nothing but a foreign pack of bones. Last I heard of her was when she lot her virginity at the age of 12 and moved back to Brazil.

[Da-Master-of-Puppets]

Keep telling her she's horrifically skinny and needs to gain weight. If you say this enough she will believe you and hopefully start to eat normal, if she ends up eating too much tell her she suddenly looks really sexy and has the perfect body and you want her to keep that weight.

It's worth a shot.

[TightRope]

I know Africans who would kill to eat her vomit for sustenance and drink her piss to ward off dehydration.

[Conspiracy3]

She's an idiot. Even if she did want to lose weight eating once a day will just slow down your metabolism. If she wants to lose weight she should eat incredibly small portions many times throughout the day.

To really help her try mixing some bacon fat into her peanut butter sandwhich.

Also, eating just wheat bread and peanut butter can't be giving her all of the vitamins she needs. She has a good chance of getting scurvy.

[Evark]

Do you care about this girl? Does she care for you?

In this situation, I'd end our relationship. It'd be short, sweet, and directly to the point: "I care a lot about you, but I recognize an eating disorder when I see one. I'm willing to help you recognize it if you're willing to start making an effort to help yourself, but you have to make that decision right now. Otherwise, I wish you the best of luck with your life." Then you shut the fuck up and don't say another word.

You're a healthy individual presumably with his head and heart in the right place, you shouldn't have to put up with people in your life who don't care for themselves at least as much as you care for them. Things are a little different when you're casually dating... I didn't think teenagers really did a whole lot of that though.

Good luck. I'd definitely issue the ultimatum though. There's no way you can just pretend something as serious as anorexia doesn't bother you for the sake of a continued 'non-relationship' such as that.

[Zerostar]

My girlfriend is anorexic as well. She says she actually prefers to feel a little hungry throughout the day, though I can't say she's gone down to one sandwich a day (although at one point she was doing the Master Cleanse, which is basically nothing but lemonade).

If you really want her to eat, here's what you do: Give her a joint and a box of Cheerios. Works like a charm every time.

[Acid]

Tell her to switch to a fruit a day such as an apple so she doesn't get vitamin C deficiency and develop scurvy.

Then you really wouldn't want to date her.

[Bladezguy]

Well go out with her and then after a week or two when you both have a relationship that's built up you can talk it out.

[WeHaveFreshCookies]

That's really sad that she feels that way. If you really have such strong feelings for her, you'll tell a counselor or something. It's a very unhealthy and self-destructive lifestyle that often leads into serious depression and worse habits, like cutting. She'll thank you for it a year from now.

[Xatanxa]

The one line that comes to mind straight away is "Save the cheerleader, Save the world."

But, on a serious note, you realy need to get her some help. Its an eating disorder, which means she requires medical attention. Possibly some help from a therapist, because it is to do with her ex-boyfriend making her think she is "overweight". Even if you need to do it behind her back, she desperately requires medical attention.

[EyelessArchfiend]

Whenever she says she's fat, just roll your eyes and go "Jesus Christ you're dumb..."

It works every time.

[EyelessArchfiend]

At 8/28/09 10:52 AM, Zerostar wrote: If you really want her to eat, here's what you do: Give her a joint and a box of Cheerios. Works like a charm every time.

More like a bong and a Chinese buffet.

[TAUfanatic]

this does sound pretty bad.....maybe you would want to do some kind of intervention?

also,if she wants to lose her fat can't you tell her exercise?

I am aware she's captain of the cheerleading team but still.........

[SohlTofang]

At 8/28/09 11:38 AM, EyelessArchfiend wrote:

At 8/28/09 10:52 AM, Zerostar wrote: If you really want her to eat, here's what you do: Give her a joint and a box of Cheerios. Works like a charm every time.

More like a bong and a Chinese buffet.

More like a Hookah and a room full of hamburgers.

[EyelessArchfiend]

At 8/28/09 11:39 AM, SohlTofang wrote: More like a Hookah and a room full of hamburgers.

A hookah will not get you any higher than a bong, and everybody knows General Tso's is 100x better than burgers when you're high.