Wet dreams.

[ThoseSneakyFrench]

It seems that I'm such a horny fuck that I'm no longer above jerking it in my sleep. This is a problem, because I can only change the sheets so many times a week without my mom asking questions. I feel I am faced with a decision. I can stop masturbating, get rid of the urges, have clean sheets, end. Or, I can do it on a regular schedule, every other day, to...err...appease myself. If I'm going to jizz anyway, I'd rather be awake to enjoy it. I'm going through family court and know a lot about tough decisions, but jesus, this is tough.

WHAT I DO GUIZE?

I post this with extra shame, but I'm being dead serious about this.

[TMM43]

Find a girlfriend.

or a blow-up doll. What ever's easier.

[Yourmomsuckedme]

Use a sock while your in bed. No stains.

But then you deal with nasty socks.

[372]

I hear about wet dreams a lot, never had one.

I don't needa dream about it ;D

[NeverHundred]

I know. That's the problem with wet dreams, they're always so messy. It's unfortunate because they can be so much fun.

[Lintire]

At 8/27/09 04:44 AM, Yourmomsuckedme wrote: Use a sock while your in bed. No stains.

But then you deal with nasty socks.

Then you have to deal with the wet patches in your shoes D=

[ThePortalGuru]

At 8/27/09 04:53 AM, Lintire wrote:

At 8/27/09 04:44 AM, Yourmomsuckedme wrote: Use a sock while your in bed. No stains.

But then you deal with nasty socks.

Then you have to deal with the wet patches in your shoes D=

Well, at least you have the legs of a group of semen!

Yuk. Yuk. Yuk.

[UCanCallMeJesus]

I have never had a wet dream. Why don't you just yank it before you sleep?

[Prinzy2]

You could always wear underwear to bed.

[ThoseSneakyFrench]

At 8/27/09 04:51 AM, NeverHundred wrote: It's unfortunate because they can be so much fun.

I don't remember my dreams, and when I do, it's nothing relevant. For example, one time was about a cell phone, another about my computer breaking, etc.

[chickenpenus]

At 8/27/09 04:58 AM, Prinzy2 wrote: You could always wear underwear to bed.

or a plastic bag with 2 holes for our legs

[Spags]

I know it might waste time or take up time, but you could always jack off before going to sleep, that way, you'd be less inclined to emitting your nocturnal jism.

[Shikamarana]

I wake up masturbating all the time. I stop myself. It's fun for me though.

I sleep naked.

[Lintire]

Just yank it off beforehand. Would you rather someone catch you jerking off in bed, or jerking off on a substantial wet patch sleeping ?

[RubberTrucky]

I wonder if it would be effective to wear a rubber when going to sleep. Granted, it might slip off, but it's not like your in for some rough slipping in/out action.

[newgroundslover94]

lol get a gf it will help becasue usually all your sexual fantasies are gone by her so u dont dream about sexytime lol like when my gf sucks me off everyday i dont need to flog my log for the rest of the day cus i dont feel the need

[VladimirJFaust]

Honestly I have never had one so I can't help you all that much. The schedule thing may work for you tho.

When I first saw the title the song "Wet Dreams" (it's about fish) came into my head.

[mrty]

You shouldn't stop masturbating, because you won't. Don't take this personally, nobody can, and there really isn't any reason to stop it.

Just tell your mom to change your sheets, it's not like she's going to ask "You shot your load again? LOLCATZ." If she does ask why, say something like "I was opening a can of beer in my bed while watching TV, but I accidentally spilled all the foam on my bed when I opened it." This is actually true for me, except I spill it on my t-shirt, not bed. If you don't drink beer, any other drink will do, but beer is the most realistic one. Keep in mind, though, that if your mom somehow knows you don't like beer (if you don't), this lie won't work. Telling the same thing over and over won't work, either, you can try replacing beer with a different drink everytime. :)

I hope this helps.

[Britkid]

Are wet dreams actually when you wank in bed? Haha, that must be so jokes. I thought it was just involuntary mental arousal from your dream that caused you to shoot. I'm so glad I've never had to deal with that. Just one of the awkward things I won't ever have to speak to the parents about.

[TMM43]

Wear a condom when you sleep. No mess, easy to discard.

[Greenfrost6]

At 8/27/09 06:27 AM, newgroundslover94 wrote: lol get a gf it will help becasue usually all your sexual fantasies are gone by her so u dont dream about sexytime lol like when my gf sucks me off everyday i dont need to flog my log for the rest of the day cus i dont feel the need

I believe your story completely.

Back onto topic, I've never had a wet dream in my life. It's better getting it off when you're awake anyway.

[Girly789]

At 8/27/09 04:43 AM, ThoseSneakyFrench wrote: It seems that I'm such a horny fuck that I'm no longer above jerking it in my sleep. This is a problem, because I can only change the sheets so many times a week without my mom asking questions. I feel I am faced with a decision. I can stop masturbating, get rid of the urges, have clean sheets, end. Or, I can do it on a regular schedule, every other day, to...err...appease myself. If I'm going to jizz anyway, I'd rather be awake to enjoy it. I'm going through family court and know a lot about tough decisions, but jesus, this is tough.

WHAT I DO GUIZE?

I post this with extra shame, but I'm being dead serious about this.

Hmm..... you could admit everything to your mommy...... or you could think about kissing instead of sex.

:STOP HAVING THOSE DREAMS!!!

[DarthRacoon]

I would have to agree with wanking before you go to bed so your load is empty.

But I only experienced wanking in my sleep once the rest of the times are just having the dirtiest dream and then busting onto the inside of my boxers.

[JKMonkey]

Masturbate daily as you are but put your jizz into a sock or tissue or something

to avoid ruining your sheets

[wehrmacht5]

I hate wet dreams!
It's sticky and my cum is all over me

[NeverHundred]

At 8/27/09 12:43 PM, wehrmacht5 wrote: I hate wet dreams!
It's sticky and my cum is all over me

But you look so cute that way.

[yurgenburgen]

Increasing the temperature in your room lowers the chance of having a wet dream. If you've got a thermostat or radiator or anything, you can make it a bit warmer.

[wehrmacht5]

At 8/27/09 12:45 PM, NeverHundred wrote:

At 8/27/09 12:43 PM, wehrmacht5 wrote: I hate wet dreams!
It's sticky and my cum is all over me

But you look so cute that way.

So you're the owner of those cameras all over my room.
OMG I've got a gay stalker!

[satanbrain]

do anything just stop that already

[NeverHundred]

At 8/27/09 12:50 PM, wehrmacht5 wrote:

At 8/27/09 12:45 PM, NeverHundred wrote:

At 8/27/09 12:43 PM, wehrmacht5 wrote: I hate wet dreams!
It's sticky and my cum is all over me

But you look so cute that way.

So you're the owner of those cameras all over my room.
OMG I've got a gay stalker!

Nah, those cameras are just hooked up to a webfeed. You don't have a gay stalker... you have hundreds of gay stalkers!