How to be a mod ( for realz )

[poxpower]

I often hear "man how did u becum a mod i am gay".
Well today I answer this question. I have been a mod since 2004 so I know a thing or two about the process.

1. Don't be black. If you're black, we'll definitely not pick you. There was only one black mod ever and we kicked him out as soon as we found out.

2. Don't read the rules. They will just confuse you.

3. Befriend Wade. You can do this by driving to his house and asking politely to join him and his family for dinner.

4. Bribe current mods. 100 bucks can go a long way, as Sevenseize and Gumonshoe will tell you.

5. Get a lot of exposure for yourself. The best way to achieve this is to post in a lot of topics with short zingers. If you look at the post history of most mods, you'll see pages and pages of them.

6. Be a hot chick. We're currently looking for some.

7. Ask from time to time. We all know that in this world, all you have to do is ask if you want something. From college degrees to driver's license: a simple stream of dozens of polite requests will guarantee your success.

8. Avoid being banned. You can do this by shifting the blame from yourself to other people. Go into every thread you can find and make remarks like "man this guy is an idiot, he should be banned". This will divert the mod's attention away from your dumb, annoying ass and towards your victim.

9. The insult sandwich. If you want to be a mod, you need to show you can assert your authority even before you're given the near-limitless power to remove morons from a website. The best method is the insult sandwich. Behold:
"- Hey you are aware that this person is just a troll, right?"
Wow! What a pussy! Now watch:
"- For fuck's sake, you are aware that this person is just a troll, right, you dumbasses?"
Damn! Someone elect this man for president of the planet!

10. Don't let your guard down! If anything looks the least bit suspicious or controvertial, then it's better to be on the same side and let everyone know that you think it's someone trolling. What is trolling? Who knows! What's a troll? What's a flamer? Who cares! It surely applies to this kid who drank a beer over the weekend! I mean, what if he's lying? What if he's lying and you go "wow you still suck"?
Then you'll be a FOOL.

11. Don't be born in the 90s. Seriously, what the fuck? The 90s? hahaha

==========

That's how you do it kids.

[LonelyLittleLesbian]

Where do I sign up?

[fastdrew]

I became a moderator for two days by following this.
THANKS POXPOWER!

[Xenolithic]

Holy shit, I'm becoming a mod tonight!

[Genocide]

I have bookmarked this and everything i have read has been permanently pressed into my brain. I'll see you in that secret forum soon enough. 8==D

[Master117chief]

Oh pox, you're on fire today aren't ya?

[SolidLiquid]

what about jamok hes black!

isnt he?

[Excursius]

it really does take a rocket scientist!

cool one line zinger

then I got lazy and didn't read the rest...

[ZJ]

At 8/21/09 07:53 PM, poxpower wrote:

11. Don't be born in the 90s. Seriously, what the fuck? The 90s? hahaha

DAMMIT. THERE GOES MY HOPES AND DREAMS.

ALSO, can I please be Icon Mod?

I said Please...

[SashaSexyFur]

What about an anthropomorphic rabbit girl?

[AniMetal]

This wasn't as funny as I wanted it to be, you should be banned for posting this Pox.

[RedCoin]

poxpower

[MetallixTheKnight]

How do I know you're not trolling? Oh, my bad;

YOU ARE FUCKING TROLLING.

amidoinitrite???

[HotHoboSex]

At 8/21/09 07:53 PM, poxpower wrote:

1. Don't be black. If you're black, we'll definitely not pick you. There was only one black mod ever and we kicked him out as soon as we found out.

11. Don't be born in the 90s. Seriously, what the fuck? The 90s? hahaha

Well there goes my chances.... :(

[Davoo]

Ha ha, good thing I'm not black.

Oh crap, I was born in the nineties. Um, wait guys, I lived a very sheltered and secluded childhood, none of the 90's culture rubbed off on me!!!

[Ass-Crumb]

At 8/21/09 07:53 PM, poxpower wrote:
11. Don't be born in the 90s. Seriously, what the fuck? The 90s? hahaha

What the fuck is up with you and the 90's?

Seriously, I understand that the 90's may suck but you go on about it fucking endlessly,

[Grub-Xer0]

At 8/21/09 07:53 PM, poxpower wrote: I often hear "man how did u becum a mod i am gay".
Well today I answer this question. I have been a mod since 2004 so I know a thing or two about the process.

1. Don't be black. If you're black, we'll definitely not pick you. There was only one black mod ever and we kicked him out as soon as we found out.

OMG A RACIST

[mariomusicmaker1]

10. Don't let your guard down! If anything looks the least bit suspicious or controversial, then it's better to be on the same side and let everyone know that you think it's someone trolling. What is trolling? Who knows! What's a troll? What's a flamer? Who cares! It surely applies to this kid who drank a beer over the weekend! I mean, what if he's lying? What if he's lying and you go "wow you still suck"?
Then you'll be a FOOL.

Im going to stick with status quo and say that this post of yours has not an ounce of troll in it, right guys?

oh and uhh... how do i say this politely... you... uhh i mean sir... you spelled controversial incorrectly.

[SolidLiquid]

you also forgot the part were you're supposed to have lots and lots of gay porn

[Curth]

Damn, born in the 90's.....no insult sandwitch for me....

[36Holla]

At 8/21/09 08:01 PM, Ass-Crumb wrote: What the fuck is up with you and the 90's?

Seriously, I understand that the 90's may suck but you go on about it fucking endlessly,

Actually growing up in the 90s was awesome. Being born in the 90s sucks. 1980s births represent.

[Deadchick]

I am hot...can I sign up?

[jonthomson]

At 8/21/09 07:53 PM, poxpower wrote: stuff

page me when you demod joe. you know, that guy that's posted all of a couple of dozen times in the last six months. then i might be interested.

[sparrow]

I've mastered the art of sucking cock so modship surely can't be far off.

[TOEZ]

fffffffffffffffuck.

[gumOnShoe]

At 8/21/09 07:55 PM, H-K-S wrote: What about Jews? I heard they steal all the grounds gold when it comes to modding...

Being jewish is fine, so long as you use $100 in pennies as your bribe. I think that's why pox mentioned me, so that you could ask this question, and I could answer it for you. I like answering questions. In fact, sometimes I don't know the answer so I just tell people I don't know the answer. I do that a lot. You know?

[JKMonkey]

What about the infamous myth about sucking an admin off to become a mod? Does that still apply?

[Loki]

I laughed.

[Chocomilk]

Hey pox can I be a mod?

[gumOnShoe]

At 8/21/09 08:15 PM, Chocomilk wrote: Hey pox can I be a mod?

Yes, I just modded you. Your aura will update tomorrow. Please go flex your penis in the appropriate forum now.