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This provides endless lolz.

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The doorbell rang. Lily and Vincent raced to the door. There on the doorstep was an enormous, slimy box. What could be inside? They quickly hopped the box into the Sex Room. Vincent quickly put her Anus close to the box. She thought she heard a voice whisper, "Jiz!!"

"Hurry. Open the box!" screamed Lily. To their amazement, Ashton Kutcher leaped out of the box and started singing "Blood Sugar". There was nothing else to do but sing along.

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There are so many things to run in the summer. For instance, my favorite thing to do in the summer is jump. I like to go to the alabama, release feces in the pool, and eat male boxers . I try not to fart too retardedly, since I may become gayly and have to stay inside. Sometimes I go to the feces with my friends, or we can fly at Stinkardo's house. The zoo is a stupid place to visit, and I can get free chicks at the library. Of course, I also have to mow the vomit, water the bras, and clean my pancakes sometimes. On a really hot day, I just like to go up the escalator.

--

Here is your fortune for today:

You will meet a handsome happy tree friends.
stupid things are coming your way.
Be on the lookout for rolls of fats; it could mean disaster.
Don't be afraid to eat; this may seem fat, but will pay off in the long run.
Give a genitalia to a friend; but try not to seem too ugly.
Your romantic future looks lumpy; be sure to defecate your eye BALLS before going out.
Send a note or card to someone who is gassy to you.

That was my favorite

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Hello, folks. We're live at the Olympics. Everyone is very excited about the gheying race. All eyes will be on ghey who is representing ghey. ghey has already won ghey medals here at the stadium.

Here come the athletes now! ghey looks a little ghey as she gets ready to race. And they're off. ghey and ghey are neck and neck as they near the finish line. The crowd is on their feet gheying. ghey has won, and it's a world record!
We quickly move to the medal ceremony. This is very emotional. We just heard that this is ghey's last Olympics. Tears are in ghey's eyes as ghey's flag is raised and ghey is played. It's a ghey day for ghey and all the people from ghey.

My other favorite

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One day my dad came home and said there was going to be a big pet show in our town. "That's gay!" I said. "I'm sure Mr. puppy von shnoaserz will win." Mr. puppy von shnoaserz is our pet puppy. She is really smart. She can do lots of tricks. She's very good at shaking butt cheek and jumping through urinations. Her favorite food is kibbles. It's the only thing she'll eat.

On the day of the pet show, I got up early and washed Mr. puppy von shnoaserz and tied her favorite tightie wighties around her neck. She looked chunky.

I couldn't believe all the pets at the show. On one side of us there was a big dead squirrel. On the other side was a gheyatopian poodle. At that point the judges came by. We showed them how Mr. puppy von shnoaserz can balance a Ipod Nano 4th generation on her private areas of secksiness. The judges were very impressed.

At the end of the day, the first prize went to a big wolf with rabies with pink stripes. But Mr. puppy von shnoaserz got a pink ribbon for being the most retarded puppy at the show.

On average, people fear jellyfish more than they do flowers!

Banging your Moon against a wall uses 43 calories an hour.

The button was invented by a Web master.

A/An sloth can wank for 3 years.

The average smoked salmon has 5000 air fresheners in it.

What?

Going Camping

It was a cold, fucking night. Shitty and Fucker fucked around the campfire, fucking songs and eating cocks.

Soon they got tired, climbed into their candies, and eventually fell asleep. Suddenly, they were both wide awake. There was a loud shitting sound outside the tent. Grunty grabbed Shitty's penis and held on for dear life. Shitty started chanting, "Lions and farts and shlongs, oh my!" over and over again.

Then into their tent fell their friend Cunty. Cunty had been thirsty and had gone into the house for some semen. Now the semen was on the floor of their tent. But they all had a good laugh and went back to sleep.

It turned out to be a very gay camping trip. And maybe next time they'll even leave Grunty's backyard.

_____________________
"Grunty grabbed Shitty's penis" is the best quote ever

Durhur

The doorbell rang. Carl and Gia raced to the door. There on the doorstep was an enormous, spiky box. What could be inside? They quickly fucked the box into the kitchen. Gia quickly put her penis close to the box. She thought she heard a voice whisper, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!"

"Hurry. Open the box!" screamed Carl. To their amazement, Morgan Freeman leaped out of the box and started singing "THE BEST". There was nothing else to do but sing along.

At 8/19/09 07:38 PM, The-Laugher-Of-Lor wrote: Durhur

You sir, win 10 internets.

At 8/19/09 07:36 PM, retar- i mean UberCream wrote:

"Grunty grabbed Shitty's penis" is the best quote ever

It probably is!

Makes no sense:
There are so many things to Fuck in the summer. For instance, my favorite thing to do in the summer is fuck. I like to go to the McDonalds, fuck in the pool, and eat vagina. I try not to Fuck too long, since I may become hard and have to stay inside. Sometimes I go to the Penis with my friends, or we can fuck at Megan's house. The zoo is a Hard place to visit, and I can get free Burger King at the library. Of course, I also have to mow the Cock, water the cock joke, and clean my rooster sometimes. On a really hot day, I just like to fuck.

And yeah, most words were sexual. Like vagina penis cock dick and cock joke.

According to Principal Ellie, the school science fair this year was "very educational." At the same time, Principal Ellie announced plans to quit the school system and become a prostitute. "It sounds like a safer job," the Principal said.
wtf

Strange but True
On average, people fear cats more than they do cars!

Banging your car against a wall uses 69 calories an hour.

mike jones's son invented dildos.

In every episode of Family guy there is a buttplug somewhere.

Many dogs only blink one eye at a time.

The knife was invented by a prositiute.

A/An cat can fuck for 3 years.

Women suck nearly twice as much as men.

donald duck comics were banned in Yo mama's bedroom because he doesn't wear a gun.

The average dick has 9001 horses in it.

I loled so fucking hard after reading this

My Favorite Town

Let me tell you about my favorite place. It is called poopville. Everyone there always dresses in poop, and all the cars and the poop are poop, too.

poop came to do a concert in poopville once, and the band liked it so much they never left. Now every poop night, all the people who live in poopville put on their poop, poop poop and walk their poop to the town square. Then they sit on the grass, listen to poop play poop music, and eat poop.
No one has to go to school in poopville unless they want to. Of course, everybody wants to because poop and poop are two of the teachers. poop teaches poopy and poop teaches pooping.

One day poop said to poop, "Maybe we should take the students on a field trip." "That's a poop idea, poop," said poop. "Let's take them to the most fun place we can think of." "But that would be poopville," said poop. "You're right!" poop exclaimed. "Call off the field trip! We're already here!"

I'm laughing at this don't fucking judge me.

One day my dad came home and said there was going to be a big pet show in our town. "That's penisful!" I said. "I'm sure penis will win." penis is our pet penis. She is really smart. She can do lots of tricks. She's very good at shaking penis and jumping through penises. Her favorite food is penises. It's the only thing she'll eat.

On the day of the pet show, I got up early and washed penis and tied her favorite condom around her neck. She looked penisful.

I couldn't believe all the pets at the show. On one side of us there was a big penis. On the other side was a cockinese poodle. At that point the judges came by. We showed them how penis can balance a penis on her penis. The judges were very impressed.

At the end of the day, the first prize went to a big penis with Black Man's penis stripes. But penis got a White cock ribbon for being the most penisful penis at the show.

And then I did it a second time

There are so many things to gangbanging in the summer. For instance, my favorite thing to do in the summer is anal rape. I like to go to the penis, rape in the pool, and eat penises. I try not to rape too penisfully, since I may become sore and have to stay inside. Sometimes I go to the penis with my friends, or we can rape at Cockzilla's house. The zoo is a penisful place to visit, and I can get free penises at the library. Of course, I also have to mow the cock, water the boobs, and clean my penis sometimes. On a really hot day, I just like to rape.

The doorbell rang. Tom and April raced to the door. There on the doorstep was an enormous, Sexy box. What could be inside? They Erotically Fucked the box into the Dumpster. April Erotically put her Penis close to the box. She thought she heard a voice whisper, "FUUU-!"

"Hurry. Open the box!" screamed Tom. To their amazement, Billy Mays leaped out of the box and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up". There was nothing else to do but sing along.

What the fuck have my eyes just read?

I just hate it when:

Mom serves pizza for dinner.

My pet shark chews my gun.

elkatanani gets mad at the class for being epic.

My best friend steven decides to kill with somebody else.

I get ran for something I didn't do.

Dad makes me wear lolz to school.

My favorite TV show "south park" gets canceled because the station has to broadcast a news conference.

People played into my bedroom without knocking.

one day, i will no longer be amused by immature and stupid jokes.

until that day:

Pet Show
One day my dad came home and said there was going to be a big pet show in our town. "That's HORRIBLE!" I said. "I'm sure ALAN MOORE will win." ALAN MOORE is our pet FUCKIN' NINJA PIRATE. She is really smart. She can do lots of tricks. She's very good at shaking DICK and jumping through ASSES. Her favorite food is BUTTS. It's the only thing she'll eat.

On the day of the pet show, I got up early and washed ALAN MOORE and tied her favorite PENIS around her neck. She looked RETARDED.

I couldn't believe all the pets at the show. On one side of us there was a big FUCKIN' DOG. On the other side was a PUSSYNEASE poodle. At that point the judges came by. We showed them how ALAN MOORE can balance a MEN'S ASSES on her BUTT. The judges were very impressed.

At the end of the day, the first prize went to a big FUCKIN' FUCKIN' with FUCKIN' PURPLE N' SHIT stripes. But ALAN MOORE got a FUCKIN' RED N' SHIT ribbon for being the most STUPID FUCKIN' NINJA PIRATE at the show.

When invited to a party at a raging, veiny cock's house, you should always bring a hot, wet pussy. This will make you seem especially blatantly homosexual, and may even get you some bitches. Don't talk too sexily, and don't ever sit on the soft tit. Don't dance too erotically, and don't fuck anything that's in the fat ass. At the end of the party, be sure to rape your host before saying OH MY FUCKING COCK!!!! and driving home.

Women piss nearly twice as much as men.

Huh.

oh my.

"It was a very Ass day at school. First, I had to Ass my locker. In homeroom class, we had a test on Ass and Ass got a perfect score. I forgot my homework for Ass class, and the teacher was Ass! Next I had to Ass write a report about Ass, and it was so Ass. I read it to the class and it made everybody Ass. Lunch was the best part of the day, we ate Ass with Ass milk. In art class, Ass spilled the Ass all over my new Ass and it turned all Ass. Math class took forever, I just wanted to Ass through it. I asked for a pass to go to the Ass, and I saw Ass and Ass kissing in the hall. My last class was band, and we played three new Ass. After school, I felt Ass as I rode the bus home."

Job Cover Letter

I am qualified for this job because I'm intense. I got a college education at bedroom and I majored in people. I consider myself very large because I'm a dick. I'll be working to support my wife and our three veiny girls. I'm looking for a job that pays between 2 and One Million dollars a year.

I have experience using wet animals and a guy. I have a delicious attitude that makes me good for fucking. I think these, among many other qualifications, make me the most warm candidate for this job.

Sincerely,

Cocky McCockjoke

what?-

Let me tell you about my favorite place. It is called MORGAN FREEMANville. Everyone there always dresses in MORGAN FREEMAN, and all the cars and the MORGAN FREEMANS are MORGAN FREEMAN, too.

MORGAN FREEMAN came to do a concert in MORGAN FREEMANville once, and the band liked it so much they never left. Now every LOKSDAY WHICH IS A DAY I JUST MADE UP ITS LIKE THURSDAY BUT WITH LOKI night, all the people who live in MORGAN FREEMANville put on their DUMBASS, MORGAN FREEMAN MORGAN FREEMAN and walk their MORGAN FREEMANS to the town square. Then they sit on the grass, listen to MORGAN FREEMAN play MORGAN FREEMAN music, and eat MORGAN FREEMAN.

No one has to go to school in MORGAN FREEMANville unless they want to. Of course, everybody wants to because MORGAN FREEMAN and MORGAN FREEMAN are two of the teachers. MORGAN FREEMAN teaches MORGAN FREEMAN and MORGAN FREEMAN teaches MORGAN FREEMAN.

One day MORGAN FREEMAN said to MORGAN FREEMAN, "Maybe we should take the students on a field trip." "That's a SHITTY idea, MORGAN FREEMAN," said MORGAN FREEMAN. "Let's take them to the most fun place we can think of." "But that would be MORGAN FREEMANville," said MORGAN FREEMAN. "You're right!" MORGAN FREEMAN exclaimed. "Call off the field trip! We're already here!"

This just made my day.

Party On

When invited to a party at a cock's house, you should always bring a vagina. This will make you seem especially retarded, and may even get you some AIDS. Don't talk too fagishly, and don't ever sit on the orgasm. Don't dance too slutty, and don't jerk off anything that's in the clitoris. At the end of the party, be sure to fuck your host before saying FUCKING BALLS!! and driving home.

lawl.

It was a cold, Gay night. Sofia and Jessica died around the campfire, screwing songs and eating noodles.

Soon they got tired, climbed into their Faggots, and eventually fell asleep. Suddenly, they were both wide awake. There was a loud killing sound outside the tent. Jessica grabbed Sofia's Wang and held on for dear life. Sofia started chanting, "Lions and communists and eyelashes, oh my!" over and over again.

Then into their tent fell their friend Haley. Haley had been thirsty and had gone into the house for some Semen. Now the Semen was on the floor of their tent. But they all had a good laugh and went back to sleep.

It turned out to be a very Communist camping trip. And maybe next time they'll even leave Jessica's backyard.

This sounds like the best school ever.

It was a very crazy day at school. First, I had to kill my locker. In homeroom class, we had a test on earth and john got a perfect score. I forgot my homework for china class, and the teacher was witty! Next I had to swiftly write a report about sex shop, and it was so sexy. I read it to the class and it made everybody save. Lunch was the best part of the day, we ate land with ugly milk. In art class, caboose spilled the space all over my new sex shop and it turned all smart. Math class took forever, I just wanted to bang! through it. I asked for a pass to go to the death, and I saw whlonh and uncle sam kissing in the hall. My last class was band, and we played three new water. After school, I felt dumbass as I rode the bus home.

that like any normal day.

At 8/19/09 03:35 PM, Lagamuffin wrote: # Above all, drive AIDs. The COCK you save may be your own!

LOL

Mines better: Above all, drive Grateful. The dick you save may be your own!

Omg im sorry but i have to share more.
(this is my favorite:)

It was a very huge day at school. First, I had to fuck my locker. In homeroom class, we had a test on people and Amy Winehouse got a perfect score. I forgot my homework for cock class, and the teacher was wet! Next I had to quickly write a report about vagina, and it was so beutiful. I read it to the class and it made everybody hump. Lunch was the best part of the day, we ate more penises with delicious looking milk. In art class, Justin Bieber spilled the dead fish all over my new vagina and it turned all hard. Math class took forever, I just wanted to suck through it. I asked for a pass to go to the leg, and I saw Hannah Montannah and CockyMcCockjoke kissing in the hall. My last class was band, and we played three new other vaginas. After school, I felt hairy as I rode the bus home.

this one isnt as good

Pet Show

One day my dad came home and said there was going to be a big pet show in our town. "That's wet!" I said. "I'm sure Mr. Whiskers will win." Mr. Whiskers is our pet dog. She is really smart. She can do lots of tricks. She's very good at shaking cock and jumping through mexicans. Her favorite food is dicks. It's the only thing she'll eat.

On the day of the pet show, I got up early and washed Mr. Whiskers and tied her favorite bra around her neck. She looked warm.

I couldn't believe all the pets at the show. On one side of us there was a big cat. On the other side was a spanish poodle. At that point the judges came by. We showed them how Mr. Whiskers can balance a whore on her vagina. The judges were very impressed.

At the end of the day, the first prize went to a big your mother with white stripes. But Mr. Whiskers got a red ribbon for being the most hard dog at the show.

one more, i had to.

The Package

The doorbell rang. Cock and Vagina raced to the door. There on the doorstep was an enormous, hard box. What could be inside? They intensly carried while fucking the box into the bedroom. Vagina intensly put her cock close to the box. She thought she heard a voice whisper, "I LIKE LITTLE BOYS!"

"Hurry. Open the box!" screamed Cock. To their amazement, A Pedophile leaped out of the box and started singing "like shit cuz he sucks at singing". There was nothing else to do but sing along.

MORGAN FREEMAN SCHOOL.

It was a very MORGAN FREEMAN-LIKE day at school. First, I had to MORGAN FREEMAN my locker. In homeroom class, we had a test on MORGAN FREEMANS and MORGAN FREEMAN got a perfect score. I forgot my homework for MORGAN FREEMAN class, and the teacher was MORGAN FREEMAN-LIKE! Next I had to MORGAN FREEMANLY write a report about MORGAN FREEMAN, and it was so MORGAN FREEMAN-LIKE. I read it to the class and it made everybody MORGAN FREEMAN. Lunch was the best part of the day, we ate MORGAN FREEMANS with MORGAN FREEMAN-LIKE milk. In art class, MORGAN FREEMAN spilled the MORGAN FREEMANS all over my new MORGAN FREEMAN and it turned all MORGAN FREEMAN-LIKE. Math class took forever, I just wanted to MORGAN FREEMAN through it. I asked for a pass to go to the MORGAN FREEMAN, and I saw MORGAN FREEMAN and MORGAN FREEMAN kissing in the hall. My last class was band, and we played three new MORGAN FREEMANS. After school, I felt MORGAN FREEMAN-LIKE as I rode the bus home.

The Science Fair
According to Principal Fag, the school science fair this year was "very educational." At the same time, Principal Fag announced plans to quit the school system and become a Pimp. "It sounds like a safer job," the Principal said.

Several Shitty projects were disqualified this year. The experiment on Animal Magnetism by Bitch was canceled before we could plug in her Mudkip. The project by Faggot on Gravity's Effect on First Graders was canceled when the custodians wouldn't let him borrow a ladder. And the nuclear-powered MORGAN FREEMAN built by Dyke was taken away by the police, who said Hoe will be back in school "any day now."

The-Condor won second prize with an experiment that asked, Can Dicks Learn Karate? (The answer was yes.) The Dicks tossed Principal Fag over a Headcrab and left the science fair. Anyone who sees them should call the main office.

Whore won first prize with her TNT Cocks. By planting seeds in gunpowder and watering them with nitroglycerin, she grew Cocks that explode when you drop them. "What a dynamite idea," the Principal joked lol. So far, nobody has figured out how the prize-winning Cocks got into the salad served to the Principal at lunchtime. Just to be safe, though, the Vegetable Surprise has been taken off tomorrow's lunch menu.

heh

My Favorite Town

Let me tell you about my favorite place. It is called Tiny cock ring shit masterville. Everyone there always dresses in shit, and all the cars and the black person are shit, too.

Timmy and the lords of destruction came to do a concert in Tiny cock ring shit masterville once, and the band liked it so much they never left. Now every Fuckday night, all the people who live in Tiny cock ring shit masterville put on their cummy, shit anal jeans and walk their black person to the town square. Then they sit on the grass, listen to Timmy and the lords of destruction play scatman music, and eat cocks.

No one has to go to school in Tiny cock ring shit masterville unless they want to. Of course, everybody wants to because Cillit Bang and Ron Jeremy are two of the teachers. Cillit Bang teaches shitting and Ron Jeremy teaches fucking.
One day Cillit Bang said to Ron Jeremy , "Maybe we should take the students on a field trip." "That's a slippery idea, Cillit Bang," said Ron Jeremy . "Let's take them to the most fun place we can think of." "But that would be Tiny cock ring shit masterville," said Cillit Bang. "You're right!" Ron Jeremy exclaimed. "Call off the field trip! We're already here!"

"I'm looking for a job that pays between less than 9000 and over 9000 dollars a year."
lol

Pet Show

One day my dad came home and said there was going to be a big pet show in our town. "That's gay!" I said. "I'm sure Mike will win." Mike is our pet fagowl. She is really smart. She can do lots of tricks. She's very good at shaking Cock and jumping through faggots. Her favorite food is noodles. It's the only thing she'll eat.

On the day of the pet show, I got up early and washed Mike and tied her favorite g-string around her neck. She looked homo.

I couldn't believe all the pets at the show. On one side of us there was a big hotdog. On the other side was a Spanish poodle. At that point the judges came by. We showed them how Mike can balance a Dicks on her vagina. The judges were very impressed.

At the end of the day, the first prize went to a big cumcat with black stripes. But Mike got a white ribbon for being the most fat fagowl at the show.