Forum Topic: Alert! Take Off Your Foil Hat!

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TheShrike

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Posted at: 8/11/09 10:46 AM

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Students at MIT have discovered that aluminum foil hats actually amplify radio bands used by the government for tracking.

http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helme t/

from the abstract:
Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

"A witty quote proves nothing."
~Voltaire

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November

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Posted at: 8/11/09 10:50 AM

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I'll keep that in mind.

Selling this account to the highest bidder. Don't PM for details.

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flashplayer5

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Posted at: 8/11/09 10:50 AM

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That's what they want you to think. To get you to take your protective hat off.

The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls.

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Yhtomit

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Posted at: 8/11/09 10:52 AM

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At 8/11/09 10:50 AM, November wrote: I'll keep that in mind.

I see what you did there.

Also, that's pretty weird. Sounds like the US might have been tracking all those paranoid idiots after all.


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solman219

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Posted at: 8/11/09 10:52 AM

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At 8/11/09 10:46 AM, TheShrike wrote: Students at MIT have discovered that aluminum foil hats actually amplify radio bands used by the government for tracking.
Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions.

wait, they spent $250,000 figuring out tinoil makes shit louder?

it is true. he is AlWAYS watching!

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Otto

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Posted at: 8/11/09 10:53 AM

Otto DARK LEVEL 11

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I'll just head to the bin and put mine in.

This is a song about cum on hotel walls. - Fippity-fap-fipfap. Bonus fap.

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JohnnyWang

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Posted at: 8/11/09 10:53 AM

JohnnyWang DARK LEVEL 17

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I've actually been joking about this for a while. I was totally right. Crazy theories one, rational thinking zero.

I don't take revenue from my profile.
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RocketBean

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Posted at: 8/11/09 10:54 AM

RocketBean EVIL LEVEL 11

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I think we should all put on uranium hats from now on.

Thanks to ucancallmejesus for the sig
The ZSC|FCC|JCC|Anime

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RoobyKillAll

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Posted at: 8/11/09 10:56 AM

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At 8/11/09 10:54 AM, RocketBean wrote: I think we should all put on uranium hats from now on.

Brain cancer ftw.

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(¸.·´ (¸.·`¤[Drunken Brother][Rooby.22's Tunes] I'm an asshole to idiots.

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tigerkitty

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Posted at: 8/11/09 11:06 AM

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At 8/11/09 10:46 AM, TheShrike wrote: from the abstract:
Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

haha, it's brilliant really. Using weird fringe crazies to direct scientific studies. Hilariously brilliant.

I like the three hat choices:
The Classical
The Fez
The Centurion


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Evark

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Posted at: 8/11/09 11:43 AM

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Now if only someone could fund a study that would reliably determine at least 90% of the time whether or not Belgium actually exists.

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Luxury-Yacht

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Posted at: 8/11/09 11:50 AM

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Skwurll

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Posted at: 8/11/09 11:53 AM

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At 8/11/09 11:50 AM, Luxury-Yacht wrote: Oh well, back to lead helmets like the Juggernaut.

I already have a lead helmet...


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TightRope

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Posted at: 8/11/09 11:54 AM

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So it was a government conspiracy all along?!


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Armerad

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Posted at: 8/11/09 11:57 AM

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Damn, what do I do now...I feel naked without Tinny.

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RocketBean

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Posted at: 8/11/09 12:00 PM

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At 8/11/09 10:56 AM, RoobyKillAll wrote:
At 8/11/09 10:54 AM, RocketBean wrote: I think we should all put on uranium hats from now on.
Brain cancer ftw.

Uranium doesn't cause brain cancer man! Its what the government wants you to think! That's how they get into your head man, your head!

Thanks to ucancallmejesus for the sig
The ZSC|FCC|JCC|Anime

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Porkchop

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Posted at: 8/11/09 12:04 PM

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At 8/11/09 12:00 PM, RocketBean wrote:
At 8/11/09 10:56 AM, RoobyKillAll wrote:
At 8/11/09 10:54 AM, RocketBean wrote: I think we should all put on uranium hats from now on.
Brain cancer ftw.
Uranium doesn't cause brain cancer man! Its what the government wants you to think! That's how they get into your head man, your head!

You hippie freak! Stay away from my family!
Kids, get in the car, we're moving!

JAMOKE FOR NAZI MOD '10 Click mah link for Christmas cards! (Note: May not have sufficient resources to fill all orders.

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TheShrike

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Posted at: 8/11/09 03:38 PM

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At 8/11/09 11:50 AM, Luxury-Yacht wrote: Oh well, back to lead helmets like the Juggernaut.

Oooh, yeah, then you could all be like "I'M THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!" when the Feds come to investigate why they lost the signal.

"A witty quote proves nothing."
~Voltaire

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