How would you handle it?

[Fro]

Recently in my Speech class here at college I had a presentation to give about a husband cheating on his wife and the bad way/good way to approach the situation. Basically the husband was cheating and the wife went through his email and found proof that we was. She then confronts him about it.

So we had to role play the bad situation and role play a couple of good outcomes of the situation. The whole thing lasted about a half hour. I feel we handled it pretty well as we did get an A on the final project, but what I really want to know is how would you guys handle a situation like that? Put yourself in the position of the cheated and then person that was cheated on and this situation and think of a bad way to handle it and a good way to handle it.

I'll share mine later because I don't want to give anyone good ideas. :P

[robotking98]

Honestly I'd just throw them out of the house and demand to divorce.

But that's just me.

[SeaBoundRhino]

Have revenge sex to get even.

[TheSilverGuitar]

I probably wouldn't care at all.

[JackPhantasm]

At 7/26/09 10:28 AM, TheSilverGuitar wrote: I probably wouldn't care at all.

This.

In both scenarios.

Although if I was going to cheat on someone I'd tell them before hand.

[pikmints]

At 7/26/09 10:28 AM, TheSilverGuitar wrote: I probably wouldn't care at all.

same

[milinko959]

I really don't see a good way of dealing with a cheating spouse. You really just can't trust them after that point, and to forgive is very hard, especially when you've been faithful.

[Warrickneff]

Depends on whether or not I really care about the person.

If I care : blah blah here's how I feel I need you to do this for me there's going to be a lot of work.

If I don't care, I'd become literally the worst person in the world to them. I'd be more self-righteous that anything else like "you think you can cheat on me! I'll show you!" kind of attitude.

[JackPhantasm]

At 7/26/09 10:29 AM, milinko959 wrote: I really don't see a good way of dealing with a cheating spouse. You really just can't trust them after that point, and to forgive is very hard, especially when you've been faithful.

What is there to forgive?

I don't get it.

[reveihca]

Good Idea: Have vicious, hostile, angry animal like piggy sex until we've both cooled down and then seriously discuss the issue

Bad Idea: Go out and have vicious, hostile, angry animal like piggy sex until I've cooled down and then go home and seriously discuss the issue

[Fro]

Another thing that I forgot to throw out there is that you are together for many years and have kids together. Guess that would have been important to say in the first post. O.o

Oh and remember a good way of handling cheating doesn't mean that you are still with the person or that you forgive the person. You may still kick them out of the house, but there is a difference between a bad way of handling it and a good way. Many people just don't know how to do it.

[milinko959]

At 7/26/09 10:30 AM, JackPhantasm wrote:

At 7/26/09 10:29 AM, milinko959 wrote: I really don't see a good way of dealing with a cheating spouse. You really just can't trust them after that point, and to forgive is very hard, especially when you've been faithful.

What is there to forgive?

I don't get it.

Forgive them for cheating... :o

[JackPhantasm]

Well I'm not having kids so.

How do I deal with a scenario that I'm never going to deal with.

Hypothetical bullshit.

If I had kids. Okay (HAHAHAHAHA).

I have kids. Alright.

Well, if they were cheating on me it would be simple.

I'd tell the kids first.

[Ismael92]

Honestly I couldn't come up with anything too god... As that's one of those situations in which you don't know how you would react until it happens to you.

But yeah, probably I'd feel pretty sad. Because if my wife/husband was cheating on my with someone else, I would ask myself what can that other person give him that I can't. So I could have myself to blame for it too (even if it was him/her the one who cheated).

It also depends how long he/she has been cheating on me. If it started recently, well, we could talk about it. If it has been going for a long time, then I would be mad about it. But yeah, picking a good moment to talk about it, and what to say would be really difficult. If I was really angry about it, I'd probably do it straight away, as soon as I can. Then if I wasn't so angry, and I though that we could actually work on it, I would probably start asking questions about it (pretending that I don't know), to get the other person to confess. And if she doesn't, well, there will get the point when she won't want to answer anymore and ask "what's up with all the questions?" Then I would tell her that I found out. And then there are endless possibilities depending on how the other person reacts, etc, and I don't know if I would forgive her (I probably wouldn't), but as I said, I don't know how I would react.

I hope this was the kind of answer you were looking for :)

[Ismael92]

At 7/26/09 10:32 AM, Fro wrote: Another thing that I forgot to throw out there is that you are together for many years and have kids together. Guess that would have been important to say in the first post. O.o

Won't somebody please think of the children?!
If I were married, well, I'd tell the other person to stop it because of them. Or if she wants to leave, that's fine, but she mustn't harm the kids.

Oh and remember a good way of handling cheating doesn't mean that you are still with the person or that you forgive the person. You may still kick them out of the house, but there is a difference between a bad way of handling it and a good way. Many people just don't know how to do it.

Yeah if I had kids I honestly wouldn't know how to handle the situation. It depends on their age and if they are old enough to understand it. If they are, maybe I would try to tell them and divorce would be the best option (assuming I want to break up with my wife). And if I don't want to break up, then I wouldn't tell them (even if I know I should).

Or if they aren't old enough to understand it, well... Shit happens, same as above, it's either divorce without them founding out what really happens or keeping the relation as if nothing happened if we don't want to break up.

[Cybersief]

It takes me a really long time to trust somebody. So if you get it from me, then that means a lot. But if you loose it from me, then you probably wont get it back. It's just how I am personally, it takes me a long time before I can truly trust someone and believe everything they say. So... I'd probably demand an explanation and if it really isn't anything but "I fucked someone else just because" then I'd get a divorce or something.

[doubleone]

I would smack that whore into next week.

[o0-0o]

She's gotta keep it real and slap that ho, rip his balls out, and then take half of his belongings.

[Funzo123]

When your wife/husband cheats on you (guessing here, im not actually married, but have been cheated on) the trust factor goes WAY down, and the ability to rebuild that trust is near impossible unless you genuinely dont care about it, or you didnt feel a connection with them. In that case, why get married?

Anyway, depression, blah blah blah, you get over it, probably divorce depending on the person.

yeah.

[Master117chief]

I would get drunk.

[Echo-Konosko]

talk it out?

[RohantheBarbarian]

Tempted as I would be to toss them out, given the situation with the children I suppose I'd talk it out with them, if they were truly and honestly sorry for what they had done, I would be willing to reconcile.

[XxXYoshi69XxX]

Actually I would probably kill him/her or beat them senseless.

[megadeth965]

I like the revenge sex idea, but i think you need to videotape it as well.

That way they can come in from work and that will be the first thing they see on T.V.

[HeavyMetalGuy]

At 7/26/09 02:39 PM, XxXYoshi69XxX wrote: Actually I would probably kill him/her or beat them senseless.

Rapist!

[Emomudkip]

Although if I was going to cheat on someone I'd tell them before hand.

I bet that would end up in a good separation
"Im gonna cheat on you"
"Oka- WAIT WHAT?!"

[vmast3r]

The cheater: Have sex with her and make her forget you ever cheated on her. Sex solves everything.
The cheated: Have sex with a stranger for revenge. Sex creates more problems.

[ExtraLife]

My first initial reaction like most people i think, would probably be a state of madness and grief. I'd be so full of anger that I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I'd be nonsensical for a good while, possibly for a few hours (or days of separation)...I'd also, probably feel the greatest urge to physically hit my spouse (yes, I'm an evil person) but I'd no doubt resist it and restrain myself.

However long it takes to calm down, there'll probably be some splain'in to do no? So I'd ask questions like "Who was it with?", "How long has it been going on for", "Are there any emotional feelings involved?" and "Why?". Depending on those answers there could be some critical irreparable damage done the relationship.

[NetWar]

At 7/26/09 11:07 AM, doubleone wrote: I would smack that whore into next week.

Definitely this. Kids or no kids, that bitch is gonna pay.

[Lizzardis]

At 7/26/09 10:23 AM, Fro wrote: I'll share mine later because I don't want to give anyone good ideas. :P

Well my auntie was being cheated on by her boyfriend a few years ago and I think she reacted quite well.....She waited until he went to work one day, got up at 6am and cleared the fucker out. I mean seriously, she took everything, the TV, the sofa, the table, the grandfather clock, EVERYTHING.

So yeah , I would probably do the same, if I was a woman and I was getting cheated on. Then again, the bad way to handle it is to do something drastic, like burn the place down (If you were living with him) or just leave and do nothing. That would be stupid.

Now, I was the cheater, and my wife came to me and asked me was I cheating on her....I would tell her everything. I mean, she already knows so why would you lie and make up stories? The bad situation would be making up the stores and lies.

Meh, just my opinion on how I would deal with things that's all.