i wrote a poem

[jewgrounds]

Taken on the wings of a serpent
All blind justice depends on
Temperature manipulations precisely
And then you're gone from the norm

[OrgasmWoodChipper]

hah
fun

[CowGoMoo]

fuck, that doesnt rhyme!

[jewgrounds]

poem - A verbal composition designed to convey experiences, ideas, or emotions in a vivid and imaginative way, characterized by the use of language chosen for its sound and suggestive power and by the use of literary techniques such as meter, metaphor, and rhyme.

when it says such as it means it may have 1 or more of the following. you needn't rhyme to reason, nor must you have reason to rhyme.

[Qwazal]

that sucked, it didnt even rhyme.

[CowGoMoo]

At 7/21/09 12:17 AM, jewgrounds wrote:

when it says such as it means it may have 1 or more of the following. you needn't rhyme to reason, nor must you have reason to rhyme.

but no one gives a shit about what it conveys, they only care if it rhymes!

[jewgrounds]

At 7/21/09 12:18 AM, CowGoMoo wrote:

At 7/21/09 12:17 AM, jewgrounds wrote:

when it says such as it means it may have 1 or more of the following. you needn't rhyme to reason, nor must you have reason to rhyme.

but no one gives a shit about what it conveys, they only care if it rhymes!

but then it would be the norm

and if you read my poem m GONE FROM THE NORM!

[DM692]

Fuck you bitch,
Your poem sucks.
You'll grow up fat
And with no fucks.

[CowGoMoo]

At 7/21/09 12:19 AM, DM692 wrote: Fuck you bitch,
Your poem sucks.
You'll grow up fat
And with no fucks.

i like this one better.

[Qwazal]

At 7/21/09 12:19 AM, DM692 wrote: Fuck you bitch,
Your poem sucks.
You'll grow up fat
And with no fucks.

see, this is good poetry, it conveyed a feeling, and rhymed!

[jewgrounds]

At 7/21/09 12:19 AM, DM692 wrote: Fuck you bitch,
Your poem sucks.
You'll grow up fat
And with no fucks.

AW SHIT. NO HE DID NOT!

We got ourselves a poem battle up in here.

How must I tell thee sir
That thou art quite pompous
I do not mean the hair do
You know what? Go fuck yourself

[gumOnShoe]

At 7/21/09 12:14 AM, jewgrounds wrote: Taken on the wings of a serpent

The only winged serpent I know of are dragons...

All blind justice depends on

This doesn't make much sense. Dragons are by nature greedy, evil beings that hoard gold. They don't normally represent justice.

Temperature manipulations precisely

Temperature of a breath of fire??? Maybe...

And then you're gone from the norm

Why, how was I involved in this to begin with, and why the choice of the word norm. This seems to imply that I still exist, just not as I normally do or as the normal world itself is...

Just seems like a hodgepodge of ideas. The thing is you can write a decent poem with out rhyme, but its usually still done with highly precise visual imagery. Wording that makes you feel what's being described with all of your senses... yeah?

[DM692]

At 7/21/09 12:21 AM, jewgrounds wrote: How must I tell thee sir
That thou art quite pompous
I do not mean the hair do
You know what? Go fuck yourself

The hair you think
Is pompadour.
A bear to you
I hope will gore.

[DM692]

Where's my fucking medal?

[CowGoMoo]

At 7/21/09 12:21 AM, jewgrounds wrote:

At 7/21/09 12:19 AM, DM692 wrote: Fuck you bitch,
Your poem sucks.
You'll grow up fat
And with no fucks.

AW SHIT. NO HE DID NOT!

We got ourselves a poem battle up in here.

How must I tell thee sir
That thou art quite pompous
I do not mean the hair do
You know what? Go fuck yourself

Fuck it, im joining in

Shut your mouth
you have no friends
every path you take
leads to dead ends

see? it makes no sense, but it rhymes man!

[Newgrundling]

At 7/21/09 12:14 AM, jewgrounds wrote: Taken on the wings of a serpent
All blind justice depends on
Temperature manipulations precisely
And then you're gone from the norm

Ah clever I get it, each line in turn spells TA TA. The wings are the feminine, the serpent is the phalus, blind are the reservations, justice is the consummation, temperature is the passion, manipulation is the act, and deviant is the norm. The poem says it's taken, then you're gone. Rape poetry, heard. Eh if that's your thing.

[BlueKoalaClock]

I like your username.

[gumOnShoe]

At 7/21/09 12:30 AM, Newgrundling wrote:

At 7/21/09 12:14 AM, jewgrounds wrote: Taken on the wings of a serpent
All blind justice depends on
Temperature manipulations precisely
And then you're gone from the norm

Ah clever I get it, each line in turn spells TA TA. The wings are the feminine, the serpent is the phalus, blind are the reservations, justice is the consummation, temperature is the passion, manipulation is the act, and deviant is the norm. The poem says it's taken, then you're gone. Rape poetry, heard. Eh if that's your thing.

I can see that now, but I'm left wondering if that was the true intention. :/

Seems to make sense now, when its put in that perspective. I took some of the wording too literally, maybe.