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I am going on the run

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Conspiracy3
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I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 09:55 PM

I know many of you will not believe a word of what I am about to say, you will think that I'm just some little kid pretending to be bad-ass, or you might believe that it was not, in fact, an accident. I have to say it anyway. I accidentally tore the tag off my mattress. I assure you that it was actually an accident. I was walking across my room with a pair of sciscors and tripped, cutting the tag of the mattress.

There is no way I can come forward. Not a jury in the world would believe that I just happened to be walking with a pair of scissors and I just happened to trip and hit the tag. I have to go on the run. This is probably one of the last few posts I can make here. I have loaded up a car and I am driving to Mexico. I might even go farther to avoid extradition. I appologize in advance for any bad press a criminal can bring to this website. After all, the NG reputation has been destroyed by people like Jeff Weise, Livecorpse, Sirtom93, and now me. I regret what I have done so much, and I deserve everything that will happen to me on the run.

Please forgive me Newgrounds.

The-Hitman
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 09:56 PM

Expect thousands of "leave this thread, authorities have been contacted" posts.

You cur.
Spiff
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 09:58 PM

If you would read the tag, it refers to the distributor.


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GIANTROLL
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 09:59 PM

Dude! YOU GOTTA RUN!!


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Crumption
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:00 PM

At 7/12/09 09:57 PM, Lamar537 wrote: Cool story bro. Also, leave this thread. Authorities have been contacted.

Wow, everything the two most unfunny phrases that someone could possibly say, all packed into one post.


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vvwSLAYwvv
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:01 PM

Yes, all mattress tags say under penalty of law the tag is not to be removed unless by the CONSUMER.

So whoever sells the mattress tags can't remove it... people walking around the store can't remove it.

But you bought it, your the consumer, so you are perfectly allowed to remove the tag.

I bet someone is going to post a picture of a m-tag soon D:


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Veranan
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:02 PM

My God...
why..
Why!
WHY!!!


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Lamar537
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:02 PM

At 7/12/09 10:00 PM, Crumption wrote:
At 7/12/09 09:57 PM, Lamar537 wrote: Cool story bro. Also, leave this thread. Authorities have been contacted.
Wow, everything the two most unfunny phrases that someone could possibly say, all packed into one post.

You are just jellyous that I fuck your my mom.


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RandomExploit
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:02 PM

At 7/12/09 10:00 PM, Crumption wrote: Wow, everything the two most unfunny phrases that someone could possibly say, all packed into one post.

The best part is, one of them is a bannable phrase.

Related to topic, you're safe, dawg. The tag was removable the second you owned it. Same concept on a stuffed animal's tag.

I think

BLU Wins
UNFUNNY TF2 PUN OR SOMETHING HERE

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Luke
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:02 PM

Authorities have not been contacted.


Yeah, whatever.
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Conspiracy3
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:05 PM

At 7/12/09 10:01 PM, vvwSLAYwvv wrote: Yes, all mattress tags say under penalty of law the tag is not to be removed unless by the CONSUMER.

It actually says "removal of this tag is illegal and punishable by law"

It doesn't mention consumers.

Are you... are you implying that I took a bullet from the cops for nothing?

Spiff
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:05 PM

At 7/12/09 10:02 PM, Lamar537 wrote: You are just jellyous that I fuck your my mom.

PLEASE just let this phrase die! I'm sick of hearing it already.


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Entice
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:07 PM

Thanks for sharing your lame joke, which by the way was made up by an idiot that was to stupid to actually read the entire tag.

Conspiracy3
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:08 PM

At 7/12/09 10:07 PM, bgraybr wrote: Thanks for sharing your lame joke, which by the way was made up by an idiot that was to stupid to actually read the entire tag.

Old mattresses do not mention that it can be removed by the customer. The warning label was changed recently to say that if you buy the mattress it is legal to remove it.

Crumption
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:08 PM

At 7/12/09 10:02 PM, Lamar537 wrote:
At 7/12/09 10:00 PM, Crumption wrote:
At 7/12/09 09:57 PM, Lamar537 wrote: Cool story bro. Also, leave this thread. Authorities have been contacted.
Wow, everything the two most unfunny phrases that someone could possibly say, all packed into one post.
You are just jellyous that I fuck your my mom.

You're on a roll! Keep it up!


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AndrewGlisson13
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:11 PM

You better run.

People have gotten the electric chair for that.


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Imaku
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:13 PM

You MONSTER! How could you! I hope they catch you, you scissor wielding MANIAC!!!

DevourerJay
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:13 PM

Don't ever look back or bother to return ok?


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CommanderQ
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:13 PM

The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this threadalong with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. Reference no. 2334453436. Your IP address has been entered into our suspect database and may be sent to Corporate Protective Services. Please wait while memory ref. code 90637895 is entered into the database.


They think I don't know nothin' but I do - I do know nothin!!

Manic-Man
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:17 PM

It's people like you that make me sick.

nirvana2543
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:20 PM

Get the fuck outta there. Run.


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Skyhawk-X
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:22 PM

>:O

...You sick bastard...
What did the matress do to deserve that?! NOTHING! But you came at it, swinging around those scissors like a madman! You're an animal! YOU HEAR ME?! A BLOODTHIRSTY ANIMAL!!!


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Dgp15
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:28 PM

you will be fine

I am going on the run


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Schizo-Sephy
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:30 PM

My God you must flee Simba and never return.

KrevZabijak
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:32 PM

At 7/12/09 10:13 PM, CommanderQ wrote: The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this threadalong with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. Reference no. 2334453436. Your IP address has been entered into our suspect database and may be sent to Corporate Protective Services. Please wait while memory ref. code 90637895 is entered into the database.

See, that's much better than "authorities have been contacted."

<3

Error - your post was a bunch of characters in length, some of which was taken up by awesome quoted text.


Dexter Season 5: "Psychopaths in love. It's like Zodiac and Juliet."

Ecliptic
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:53 PM

lol
finally, someone read the tag..


.

6r0undZ3r0
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 10:54 PM

You're a horrible person. There's nowhere you can hide after such a despicable act.


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Skygee
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 11:00 PM

Wow this reminds of that episode of ed edd and eddy where eddy ripped off double d's mattress tag and double d thought he was ganna get arrested...

Good times

By the way your mom called last night, Bet your jellyous that i fucked your my mom,
Now Stay in this thread, Authorities have not been contacted

lawlmaster
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 11:47 PM

At 7/12/09 11:00 PM, Skygee wrote: Wow this reminds of that episode of ed edd and eddy where eddy ripped off double d's mattress tag and double d thought he was ganna get arrested...

Good times

that's nice.

By the way your mom called last night, Bet your jellyous that i fucked your my mom,
Now Stay in this thread, Authorities have not been contacted

why did you make a dickneck reference that has nothing to do witht the thread.


A spear in your chest and a fire in your ass. I only play as Scorpion in MK games, because I'm that much of a fanboy.

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pointydagger
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Response to I am going on the run Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 11:56 PM

Think before you start running. It makes you look guilty.

Maybe you should sleep on it first.

Get it? What a zinger!

Ive had sex with grandma, apple pie, and baseball. That means that i have had sex with america.
I N V U 4 U R A Q T < You really are. ;)