Wikipedia defines pancakes as "A thin, flat cake prepared from a batter and cooked on a hot griddle or frying pan." Now as far as I see it, that is by far an inappropriate way to describe a pancake. Sure they defined what a pancake is, but they don't tell you WHAT a pancake is. Does that make sense? Yes it does, maybe it wouldn't make sense to a pancake hater or a COMMUNIST.
They don't tell you how delicious a pancake can be on a cold Tuesday morning, when you're still recovering from that shitty Monday. When suddenly someone lays a crisp golden pancake out in front of you, and it's as if the entire room lights up with it's fantastic... pancakeness.
Wiki doesn't describe the choice that all pancake eaters must make. Whether to put some chocolate on it, or maybe some Maple Syrup. Or perhaps you crave some lemon and some sugar that morning. Or maybe even... BANANA.
All the pancakes are equal in stature and should all be respected accordingly. I love all pancakes equally because I do not discriminate. Because I'm not a cunt, or a COMMUNIST.
Pancake Tuesday is my all time favourite day of the year, simply because I can stuff myself with 40+ Pancakes and beat the shit out of anyone who tries to stop me. I'm fairly sure there's some kind of law allowing you to kill a man on Pancake Tuesday if he tries to prevent you from eating pancakes. Pancake Tuesday is sometimes referred to as Shrove Tuesday, THIS IS WRONG. Call it that and a true pancake wizard is sure to give you a nipple cripple/kick in the balls/cast flare. So be careful.
Just remember kids, if you don't like pancakes you may not be human. Because COMMUNISTS aren't human.
